Dec 25, 2011 - 10:01 pm
This is my first time using an online support group. My mom, 66, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August. Thank god it hasn't spread anywhere else yet, but she just moved in with my sister. I'm a grad student at a nearby university, but I don't have a car. My sister and I are taking care of her at home now. With the help of my boyfriend, I'm able to get around and help her get to appointments. I'm just looking for a sympathetic ear to cope with-- someone out there who is going through something similar?
Our father passed away nearly 7 years ago, brain cancer. This all just seems a repeat of everything that happened then. I know I'm supposed to be an adult by now, but all we do is fight-- my sister and I fight because I'm residing in her house now over the holidays (to help take care of mom). My boyfriend and I fight-- because he feels like I don't spend enough time with his family. I don't have much money-- being a grad student doesn't pay much. My impulse is to just run away from it all, but I can't. I'm overwhelmed by slowly losing my mother, who recently broke free from an abusive relationship (one saving grace). I'm overwhelmed by problems with my boyfriend. I love him so much--he's so good to me, but I feel like I'm laying down so many additional problems on our otherwise blissful relationship. Additionally, I'm overwhelmed by the total lack of control that I feel in my life right now-- the complete absence of freedom when I feel like my friends are enjoying life to the fullest right now. I'm jealous, and upset, and overwhelmed, and am resorting to the only coping mechanisms I know right now-- music, drinking.
Please, any kind words would be really encouraging. I can't vent to anyone like I just did to you all.