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Looking for Hope

4Mily
Posts: 4
Joined: Dec 2011

I have recently found out that my mom has been told she has stage 4 lung cancer and doesn't have long to live. I live in a different country than her and have recently had a baby. All I want is to be able to be there for my mom but with a new baby it's hard to be there when I can't physically be there. I know nothing about the lung cancer she has apart from the fact that the fluid around her heart and lungs keeps building up and she has to keep getting it drained and due to that she is on an oxygen tank to help her breath. She started her radiation today, it was supposed to start yesterday but due to fluid build up she had to delay it so it could be drained. I just want to know a bit more about lung cancer really, my mom doesn't tell me much so I have no clue if it's small cell or whatever the different types are I just know that it is pretty serious. Her first doctor said she wouldn't live past January and then she got a second opinion and he said 18 months. I don't know alot about cancer but I do know that these doctors aren't God and can't predict her death, I just want to know if there is some hope out there for her.

onemore
Posts: 57
Joined: Jun 2010

Dear 4Mily,

My heart goes out to you and your family. This is the hardest news anyone could receive. I just lost my dad to mesothelioma (which is an aspestos related cancer on the lining of the lung) on December 4, 2011. All I can say from past experience is to take one day at a time. Doctors are not God! It is good that she went for a second opinion. My dad went for a second opinion and I believe that by going to the 2nd doctor was what kept him around a lot longer than we thought. He too had build up of fluid and needed to be drained.

This website is very useful and the people are very supportive.

Remember One day at a time....That helped me live day to day.

Onemore

4Mily
Posts: 4
Joined: Dec 2011

Thank you Onemore and I am sorry to hear about your dad. I am just trying to keep positive and try to push it to the back of my mind for the holidays but I think that has made it worse, it's always hard this time of the year as I live in a different country than my family and the news of her cancer has made it unbearable and as soon as I feel my daughter is old enough to fly I will be going home. I am still in shock of the whole thing, you hear about other people getting cancer but never did I believe my mom would be one, she isn't even 50 yet and had just starting living her life after taking care of my brother and I for years. How do you get passed feeling hopeless? Everyone keeps telling me it gets easier, I just don't want my mom to be suffering in anyway.

fsadiku
Posts: 3
Joined: Dec 2011

I wish you and your mom nothing but the best. I'm new to this whole thing and this is the first post i'm writing, probably because right before Christmas i was told that "enjoy this Christmas with your father, it will be his last". I can't accept what another human being has to say, i'll fight until God tells me we no longer can.

My fathers diagnosis became mine, i neglected school and forgot how to be a college student my life became his. On february 3rd of this year I promised that I would be the one to give my dad all of the ammunition he needed to beat this thing. I began to research every aspect of his condition (everyone now asks if im in medical school) as though Google and i would find a cure for cancer. I take care of everything that my father goes through (due to a language barrier, i'm first generation) , i want him to worry about healing not about paperwork. Non small cell lung cancer is the most common among lung cancers, small cell lung cancer (also called oat-cell) accounts for only about 15% of them( my dads is small cell). Chemotherapy and Radiation is typically the treatment for both. Although small cell lung cancer responds to the chemo very well it is also more aggressive and susceptible to coming back that non small cell is. To be perfectly honest with you from what you're describing it's a bad situation either way. I'm not saying that for you to be discouraged.

In February we were told that it was stage 4, my father didn't know this i begged the doctors to not say the word "stage", I lied to my family for the next six months, after undergoing 5 sessions of chemotherapy and radiation we made it to hear "the lungs are completely clear". I hope you find the hope in this alone. My dad has been my best friend from the day I was born, im the youngest of four, and i promised him "i'll fix you dad". He's always said that he was fighting for me, and i'm mentioning this because maybe your baby arrived when at this point when she needs that "reason" or that purpose to fight as hard as she can. She isn't telling you much to protect you, and i know because i do the same.

I can't say that at 22 i expected to be where I am, but what i can tell you is that you should always have hope. You should never give up on someone you love, miracles happen everyday. Most importantly you shouldn't focus or even want to hear a "time frame" truth is no one can tell you, each cancer is different each individual is different and there are far too many variables that have to be considered in order to come up with anything, they're giving you averages. And like I've said to every doctor that has given me advise and i've chosen otherwise ... "my father is not a statistic" and neither is your mom so enjoy her and be grateful that you at least HAVE the chance to fight this, so many people don't even get that lucky.

I wish you and your family all of the best.

fsadiku
Posts: 3
Joined: Dec 2011

I wish you and your mom nothing but the best. I'm new to this whole thing and this is the first post i'm writing, probably because right before Christmas i was told that "enjoy this Christmas with your father, it will be his last". I can't accept what another human being has to say, i'll fight until God tells me we no longer can.

My fathers diagnosis became mine, i neglected school and forgot how to be a college student my life became his. On february 3rd of this year I promised that I would be the one to give my dad all of the ammunition he needed to beat this thing. I began to research every aspect of his condition (everyone now asks if im in medical school) as though Google and i would find a cure for cancer. I take care of everything that my father goes through (due to a language barrier, i'm first generation) , i want him to worry about healing not about paperwork. Non small cell lung cancer is the most common among lung cancers, small cell lung cancer (also called oat-cell) accounts for only about 15% of them( my dads is small cell). Chemotherapy and Radiation is typically the treatment for both. Although small cell lung cancer responds to the chemo very well it is also more aggressive and susceptible to coming back that non small cell is. To be perfectly honest with you from what you're describing it's a bad situation either way. I'm not saying that for you to be discouraged.

In February we were told that it was stage 4, my father didn't know this i begged the doctors to not say the word "stage", I lied to my family for the next six months, after undergoing 5 sessions of chemotherapy and radiation we made it to hear "the lungs are completely clear". I hope you find the hope in this alone. My dad has been my best friend from the day I was born, im the youngest of four, and i promised him "i'll fix you dad". He's always said that he was fighting for me, and i'm mentioning this because maybe your baby arrived when at this point when she needs that "reason" or that purpose to fight as hard as she can. She isn't telling you much to protect you, and i know because i do the same.

I can't say that at 22 i expected to be where I am, but what i can tell you is that you should always have hope. You should never give up on someone you love, miracles happen everyday. Most importantly you shouldn't focus or even want to hear a "time frame" truth is no one can tell you, each cancer is different each individual is different and there are far too many variables that have to be considered in order to come up with anything, they're giving you averages. And like I've said to every doctor that has given me advise and i've chosen otherwise ... "my father is not a statistic" and neither is your mom so enjoy her and be grateful that you at least HAVE the chance to fight this, so many people don't even get that lucky.

I wish you and your family all of the best.

fsadiku
Posts: 3
Joined: Dec 2011

I wish you and your mom nothing but the best. I'm new to this whole thing and this is the first post i'm writing, probably because right before Christmas i was told that "enjoy this Christmas with your father, it will be his last". I can't accept what another human being has to say, i'll fight until God tells me we no longer can.

My fathers diagnosis became mine, i neglected school and forgot how to be a college student my life became his. On february 3rd of this year I promised that I would be the one to give my dad all of the ammunition he needed to beat this thing. I began to research every aspect of his condition (everyone now asks if im in medical school) as though Google and i would find a cure for cancer. I take care of everything that my father goes through (due to a language barrier, i'm first generation) , i want him to worry about healing not about paperwork. Non small cell lung cancer is the most common among lung cancers, small cell lung cancer (also called oat-cell) accounts for only about 15% of them( my dads is small cell). Chemotherapy and Radiation is typically the treatment for both. Although small cell lung cancer responds to the chemo very well it is also more aggressive and susceptible to coming back that non small cell is. To be perfectly honest with you from what you're describing it's a bad situation either way. I'm not saying that for you to be discouraged.

In February we were told that it was stage 4, my father didn't know this i begged the doctors to not say the word "stage", I lied to my family for the next six months, after undergoing 5 sessions of chemotherapy and radiation we made it to hear "the lungs are completely clear". I hope you find the hope in this alone. My dad has been my best friend from the day I was born, im the youngest of four, and i promised him "i'll fix you dad". He's always said that he was fighting for me, and i'm mentioning this because maybe your baby arrived when at this point when she needs that "reason" or that purpose to fight as hard as she can. She isn't telling you much to protect you, and i know because i do the same.

I can't say that at 22 i expected to be where I am, but what i can tell you is that you should always have hope. You should never give up on someone you love, miracles happen everyday. Most importantly you shouldn't focus or even want to hear a "time frame" truth is no one can tell you, each cancer is different each individual is different and there are far too many variables that have to be considered in order to come up with anything, they're giving you averages. And like I've said to every doctor that has given me advise and i've chosen otherwise ... "my father is not a statistic" and neither is your mom so enjoy her and be grateful that you at least HAVE the chance to fight this, so many people don't even get that lucky.

I wish you and your family all of the best.

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