Happy Holidays
I wish you all a very happy holiday season. I know some folks here probably don't celebrate Christmas, however, whatever your faith, belief or situation, I wish you all the very best.
I will be celebrating Christmas with my parents, my brother and his family this year. It will be such a difficult time for so many of us here this year who have lost our husbands, Jo-Ann, Barb, Rita, Sherri, Kim, Whitney..... how the heck are we going to manage?????? (I'm sure I missed a few, and I apologize) I am personally dreading the whole holiday season. Lee and I always had such a wonderful Christmas traditions together, and now I must learn how to celebrate without him. All I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep through the whole holiday.
To all the rest of you, cherish every moment with your loved ones, celebrate life and be so very thankful for what you have been blessed with.
As the holidays fast approach, I know times get busy, so I just wanted to get a head start, and wish you all the best, now and always.......
Merry Christmas,
Chantal
Comments
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Merry Christmas Chantal
Chantal,
Merry Christmas! I am happy that your family will surround you this holiday season. I cannot guess how you will feel but I hope that you will be able to enjoy your family, remember Lee, cry when you need to but laugh too! I do not want to presume that I would know what Lee would want but I "think" he would want you to enjoy the holidays and SMILE as much as you can. It will get easier and you have all of us here holding you up until you get your full strength back!
Merry Christmas
Love Erica0 -
Chantel
Chantel,I hope that even with your loss and heartache..........you
feel warmth and love....
Merry Christmas Girlfriend!
Sal0 -
Chantel,I hope you have a
Chantel,
I hope you have a peaceful Christmas with your family. We are leaving to spend Christmas with my mom, our first one since my dad passed away. It is difficult for us too because he did so much at the holidays, loved everything about them and went all out with decorations, food and presents. We will miss him this year and I am sure we will spend time looking at pictures and telling stories. In fact my picture is one we took last Christmas as a family - it was a wonderful holiday. We are even going to try and make his special eggnog recipe, it converted many, but I fear it will not be exactly the same without his magic.
I will be thinking of you, and the many others who have lost someone this year. It is a comfort to have all of you. Thanks to everyone for their support, love and encouragement.
Lots of love,
Cindy0 -
Hi Chantal,
Yes, this Christmas will definately be different for my family. My husband was always the one buying the kids goofy gifts. One year he bought the boys **** skin caps, another year he bought them clappers, leisure suits, monkey butt powder, chocolate covered oranges, chia pets and on and on and on. He always got such a charge out of seeing them open these silly gifts. He is missed so much every day but I am waddling my way through it. Sometimes the grief is very intense and sometimes it's more bearable. One thing I know for sure is that Greg would definately NOT want me to be miserable. Besides that, I absolutely HATE being miserable - that is just not who I am. So I've decided to make a conscious effort to be happy. I remind myself regularly, "I choose to be happy". I am alive!! I have a wonderful family and very supportive friends, I have financial independence, and I'm in reasonably good health (for an elderly fat lady 8-) Whenever I start to slip backwards, I repeat my mantra - I choose to be happy. The other thing I've done is to start a Gratitude Journal. Every night I write down 3 things that made me happy that day. It started out right after Greg was diagnosed. I'd be happy that he'd been able to eat, or that he'd had a bowel movement or that he didn't throw up, that his pain was being controlled, etc. After he died I was grateful for the fact that he didn't suffer for a long time, I was grateful for my kids to help plan the celebration of life, I was grateful that he was at peace. Now, two months out, I'm grateful if I didn't cry today, or if I had a good hair day, or if I met a friend for lunch, if I got my Christmas cards out. It really doesn't matter that it's not an earth shaking event, just something that brought a smile to my face or that I enjoyed. I go back and re-read the entries at the end of the week and am reminded that all in all, I had a pretty good week. I know this board is for survivors but there are some of us still on here who are not cancer survivors but are caregiver survivors instead. We all need to learn to move forward with our lives without our spouses and this is tough. When you've been part of a couple for a long time, being single is not something we are immediately comfortable with. It takes patience and retraining our brains. But we can do it! Our husbands would want us to keep on living and that's just what we need to do. I'm sure I could crawl under the bed and stay until Jan 2 but I refuse to do that. I will spend time with my family, shed some tears, have some laughs and raise a glass to Greg - he was a good man who was well loved and he was taken too soon and I know there must be a plan that he's a part of that I don't understand. It is what it is and my life will go on...differently, but it will go on. I will never get over this but I will get through it. And I choose to be happy. Hugs to you all, Rita0 -
Just wanted to say
Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays to all.
Melinda0 -
Merry Christmasbingbing2009 said:Just wanted to say
Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays to all.
Melinda
Chantal,
A very peaceful Christmas is wished for you and sadly all those who are spending their first Christmas without their loved ones. I lost my Dad many years ago on 12/17 and remember walking thru the grocery store crying when I saw some of his favorite foods and I wanted Christmas to be done with. Those happy carols are very hard to listen to when you think of your loved one not there at Christmas. But you have a loving family and friends and they will hold you up and even though you may have tears, you will have some happy memories come back too of Lee at Christmas time. I will keep all of those on the board but especially our dear friends here who have lost their loved ones in my thoughts and prayers this holiday season. Merry and Blessed Christmases to all.
Donna700 -
Merry Christmas Chantal, so
Merry Christmas Chantal, so pleased you will be surrounded by your loving family. It will obviously be very difficult but those we love don't go away they stay in our hearts every single day.
Thoughts also to everyone who has lost a loved one.
Merry Christmas to all.
Ann (2)0 -
thinking of you allannalan said:Merry Christmas Chantal, so
Merry Christmas Chantal, so pleased you will be surrounded by your loving family. It will obviously be very difficult but those we love don't go away they stay in our hearts every single day.
Thoughts also to everyone who has lost a loved one.
Merry Christmas to all.
Ann (2)
during this holiday season,those who have lost a loved one.
"May the beauty of the season bring you all peace and happiness"
Teresa0 -
Merry ChristmasT-Bird said:thinking of you all
during this holiday season,those who have lost a loved one.
"May the beauty of the season bring you all peace and happiness"
Teresa
Chantel, Lee will be smiling down on you from above. He will always be with you. Merry Christmas and enjoy the time with your family. Sam0 -
Thank you!ritawaite13 said:Hi Chantal,
Yes, this Christmas will definately be different for my family. My husband was always the one buying the kids goofy gifts. One year he bought the boys **** skin caps, another year he bought them clappers, leisure suits, monkey butt powder, chocolate covered oranges, chia pets and on and on and on. He always got such a charge out of seeing them open these silly gifts. He is missed so much every day but I am waddling my way through it. Sometimes the grief is very intense and sometimes it's more bearable. One thing I know for sure is that Greg would definately NOT want me to be miserable. Besides that, I absolutely HATE being miserable - that is just not who I am. So I've decided to make a conscious effort to be happy. I remind myself regularly, "I choose to be happy". I am alive!! I have a wonderful family and very supportive friends, I have financial independence, and I'm in reasonably good health (for an elderly fat lady 8-) Whenever I start to slip backwards, I repeat my mantra - I choose to be happy. The other thing I've done is to start a Gratitude Journal. Every night I write down 3 things that made me happy that day. It started out right after Greg was diagnosed. I'd be happy that he'd been able to eat, or that he'd had a bowel movement or that he didn't throw up, that his pain was being controlled, etc. After he died I was grateful for the fact that he didn't suffer for a long time, I was grateful for my kids to help plan the celebration of life, I was grateful that he was at peace. Now, two months out, I'm grateful if I didn't cry today, or if I had a good hair day, or if I met a friend for lunch, if I got my Christmas cards out. It really doesn't matter that it's not an earth shaking event, just something that brought a smile to my face or that I enjoyed. I go back and re-read the entries at the end of the week and am reminded that all in all, I had a pretty good week. I know this board is for survivors but there are some of us still on here who are not cancer survivors but are caregiver survivors instead. We all need to learn to move forward with our lives without our spouses and this is tough. When you've been part of a couple for a long time, being single is not something we are immediately comfortable with. It takes patience and retraining our brains. But we can do it! Our husbands would want us to keep on living and that's just what we need to do. I'm sure I could crawl under the bed and stay until Jan 2 but I refuse to do that. I will spend time with my family, shed some tears, have some laughs and raise a glass to Greg - he was a good man who was well loved and he was taken too soon and I know there must be a plan that he's a part of that I don't understand. It is what it is and my life will go on...differently, but it will go on. I will never get over this but I will get through it. And I choose to be happy. Hugs to you all, Rita
Your post is exactly what I needed to read.0 -
great adviceritawaite13 said:Hi Chantal,
Yes, this Christmas will definately be different for my family. My husband was always the one buying the kids goofy gifts. One year he bought the boys **** skin caps, another year he bought them clappers, leisure suits, monkey butt powder, chocolate covered oranges, chia pets and on and on and on. He always got such a charge out of seeing them open these silly gifts. He is missed so much every day but I am waddling my way through it. Sometimes the grief is very intense and sometimes it's more bearable. One thing I know for sure is that Greg would definately NOT want me to be miserable. Besides that, I absolutely HATE being miserable - that is just not who I am. So I've decided to make a conscious effort to be happy. I remind myself regularly, "I choose to be happy". I am alive!! I have a wonderful family and very supportive friends, I have financial independence, and I'm in reasonably good health (for an elderly fat lady 8-) Whenever I start to slip backwards, I repeat my mantra - I choose to be happy. The other thing I've done is to start a Gratitude Journal. Every night I write down 3 things that made me happy that day. It started out right after Greg was diagnosed. I'd be happy that he'd been able to eat, or that he'd had a bowel movement or that he didn't throw up, that his pain was being controlled, etc. After he died I was grateful for the fact that he didn't suffer for a long time, I was grateful for my kids to help plan the celebration of life, I was grateful that he was at peace. Now, two months out, I'm grateful if I didn't cry today, or if I had a good hair day, or if I met a friend for lunch, if I got my Christmas cards out. It really doesn't matter that it's not an earth shaking event, just something that brought a smile to my face or that I enjoyed. I go back and re-read the entries at the end of the week and am reminded that all in all, I had a pretty good week. I know this board is for survivors but there are some of us still on here who are not cancer survivors but are caregiver survivors instead. We all need to learn to move forward with our lives without our spouses and this is tough. When you've been part of a couple for a long time, being single is not something we are immediately comfortable with. It takes patience and retraining our brains. But we can do it! Our husbands would want us to keep on living and that's just what we need to do. I'm sure I could crawl under the bed and stay until Jan 2 but I refuse to do that. I will spend time with my family, shed some tears, have some laughs and raise a glass to Greg - he was a good man who was well loved and he was taken too soon and I know there must be a plan that he's a part of that I don't understand. It is what it is and my life will go on...differently, but it will go on. I will never get over this but I will get through it. And I choose to be happy. Hugs to you all, Rita
Wise advice from a wise woman, Rita, you are an inspiration. Chantal, you are stronger than imaginable.
Merry Christmas to all!0 -
Peace be with you Chantal
Dear Chantal -
May the Peace of Christ be with you this Christmas season. I cannot imagine the pain you must feel in having a holiday pass by without your beloved Lee next to you. Glad you made it to the Soo and I truly hope you feel the love of your family and friends with you this Christmas season.
Thank you again for helping us newbies navigate our way through this nightmare. I'm not sure I could do this like you do, but it sure is nice of you. We owe such a debt of gratitude to all of you pioneers, including those who are looking down from Heaven to watch over us still. (Bet God has some awesome Harley's up there - don't you think? Bet Lee doesn't even a helmet!)
Peace and Love,
Judy & Don0 -
Thinking of you all during the holidays!
Chantal, Rita, Kim, Sherri, Barb, Jo-Anne, Whitney, others I might have missed AND everyone here at the EC board...
You are ALL in our thoughts this holiday season. As Erica so accurately said - cry when you need to, but be sure to laugh a little as well. We *will* be here during and after the holidays to help you pick up the pieces.
Enjoy the time with your families. I hope you have very pleasant holidays. I have hopes for 2012 - a few less challenges would be appreciated....
With much love & many hugs - Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
Terry0
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