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After 8 years I'm gone too

scouty's picture
scouty
Posts: 1973
Joined: Apr 2004

My dear semi-colons,

I actually decided to stop posting in the fall but after reading Emily’s farewell post I feel I need to clear up a few things up and explain a few more before I bid farewell.

In my 8 years on this board I have never, I repeat NEVER, told anyone to stop or not to do chemo. When I decided to stop doing chemo back in 2004 it was by far the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I respect that it is for others as well and have always tried to make sure they understand the consequences of their decisions and are okay with it. The recent dig at Stephen Jobs was so uncalled for. The man did tons of research and knew exactly what he was doing. He lived almost 3 years longer than others with the same cancer do and I know he never regretted ANY of his choices/decisions. I just can’t understand why someone makes that kind of a nasty remark about a man who fought the beast on his own terms and was actually pretty successful given that his cancer was 100% fatal.

Also I have NEVER recommended a vegan diet to anyone. I’ve never gone completely vegan myself, so how could I tell anyone else to do it. In college and in the years since I have learned a great deal about the human body and believe in the benefits of the amino acids in protein especially now that I am working out several times a week. I did minimize my meat consumption for the months after I stopped chemo but that was to give my stomach and liver a break from the lengthy digestion time meat, especially red meat requires. I was detoxing and trying to get good “stuff” into my cells and immune system ASAP. I have never understood the repeated negative references to vegans the last year or so and quite honestly don’t want to. I do eat meat but just not the grain fed fattening and hormone/steroid/antibiotic laden kinds.

I decided to leave the board after a post in the fall that was the "icing on the cake". One of our own actually introduced himself as our “resident curmudgeon”! For the life of me I can’t understand why someone thinks a group of cancer survivors, their caregivers, families, and friends need or even want an ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions (definition of curmudgeon). That written remark may have been a “joke” but I have no clue why someone on a cancer support board would even want to think of themselves that way even in a joke. And I don’t want to.

I guess I just don’t get this whole social networking world of people that feel a need to give their opinions over and over and over again. I always thought experiences were much more important and helpful. And I guess I really don’t need all the attention that some others seem to need. I don’t understand why some feel like they have to be the “self appointed” board monitors, since CSN provides that service. I had enough of self serving monitors in elementary school. This board was always my safe place but it just doesn’t feel that way to me any longer.

My personal belief is that one of the most important things that we all should feel in our fight with the ***** cells is that we have no regrets, period. Give it your all, I don’t care how you do it, as long as it is okay with you. Who am I to judge anyone!!!

I’ve talked to few of my semi-colon buddies over the years when they knew their fate and listened to their regrets that they didn’t do more earlier in their diagnosis to help their bodies. Bud (nanuk) and Mark (Limey) specifically asked me to stay on this board and help others and I have tried to all this time. But I know they would not want me to do it if I ever felt uncomfortable or felt I was preventing others from getting support from this awesome place.

Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I would like to share how wonderful this site was to me when I needed it the most. Those reading, especially the old-timers, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and my eyes tear up with appreciation and warmth. Those of you up yonder “saving me a seat”, my love to you too, I am a much better person today knowing and having had you all in my life and my journey. I can’t find the words that appropriately express my gratitude, I don’t think there are any.

I have never wanted to negatively impact this amazing support site but feel like I have lately. A few here seem to bring out the worst in me and I don’t like how that makes me feel. I don’t need the board like I used to and don’t want to keep others from receiving the warmth and knowledge that resides here. So I am so hoping that with Emily and I both leaving that the stalking, baiting, and bullying stops and the unbiased, non-judgmental support, compassion, and respect remains.

PLEASE!

Lisa P.

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4665
Joined: May 2005

There goes the neighborhood. I hope you and Em keep your posts up so all can reference them.
I'm grateful for your help and friendship over the years. You KNOW I'll stay in touch.
{{{hugs}}}
-phil
You can tell a lot about people by how they behave on forums and how they treat waiters.

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4266
Joined: Jun 2009

I remember you telling me about this while we cruised the boat around the lake. I can certainly understand you wanting to 'retire.'

Can't get rid of me that easy though, darlin'....you just might bump into me at the next CP:)

-Craig

here4lfe
Posts: 294
Joined: Jan 2010

I have only been on the board for over a year, and it's always a shock for me to see an old thread revived and reading the comments of one of the semi's who have moved on. Brings me down. I come here for information to help my wife and myself to understand this journey, and it's people like you who have provided me insight to help her.

Thanks,

Best to you

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3663
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Lisa,

I can understand your sentiments & I just want to state that you have been a major influence on me for the good. I so enjoyed our phone conversation a while back- would love to have another one soon & I'd like to keep in touch.
I'll send you a pm with my phone number- I can't find yours anymore.

Hugs,
Lisa

keystone's picture
keystone
Posts: 133
Joined: Dec 2010

This really saddens me. It's your story that gave me so much hope for my husband from the beginning. I am also saddened by what's forcing you to make the choice of leaving. You are such a kind hearted person and I have seen you over and over again reach out to the newbies. We need you and people like you here to cheer us on. I wish you health and happiness!!

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1232
Joined: Oct 2010

Lisa, it was you and Emily that gave me the desire to keep the treatment going after I finished. What I mean is since I started with the usual chemo pump/radiation, surgery, surgery, and six months of chemo...I decided the best way to continue my treatment the only way I can is with healthy choices. It's not easy and I learn things all the time, but I make choices now that I may not have ever made without your stories to give me ideas for my own path. So I thank you all for that opportunity. Your names are known in my house :) And are always accompanied with the words my friends from csn when I explain why or what I have learned or purchased or something new I want to try out. I know my family appreciates what you have given me, and in turn, given them.

Love to you, Gail

PS...John, you need to stay put please :) and thank you!

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2282
Joined: Jan 2009

Lisa,
Wow, I didn't see this before I replied to Emily. I want to say the same to you. You have been a gift to me during the 3 years I have been on the board. You are a wonderful, steady, very bright woman and both Dick and I have benefitted from your story. I have shared your story and Emily's story with Dick. You are inspiring in that you looked hard and chose your path carefully and purposefully. I am sad that newcomers will not have the benefit of your story. I will miss you a lot. Please check your pm's when you can.

With love and aloha,
Kathleen

tanstaafl's picture
tanstaafl
Posts: 946
Joined: Oct 2010

Lisa, your story is a shining beacon of example through the proverbial shoals on a dark, stormy night. Conventional CRC treatment is a cruel and harsh business that needs alternatives with better, affordable outcomes and quality of life. I wish that you might still visit and renew your contact with new "generations".

Don't let the nay saying get you down, just come back sometime.

taraHK
Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

Lisa,

Hey -- I'm coming up to my 9 year anniversary. You have been a wonderful friend to me during my journey. I don't want to loose touch. I'm not very good at PM but would love to exchange email addresses with you.

I agree 100% with what you said. I often think about how frightened I was when I came to this board as a newcomer and how much love and support I got at that time. I worry so much that newcomers today might be put off by the b*sh*t going around these days and really miss out.

Live strong!

Tara

ps I am posting same message to Emily....

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3915
Joined: Nov 2010

opps

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3915
Joined: Nov 2010

i will carry on juicing and the healthy alternative life while i have breathe.
thanks for all the support and encouragement.
standing up for your beliefs has helped me so much.
the health and strength and character has been developed by your support.
the quality and quantity of my life has been improved and extended by your message.

i cannot give your message, you have to.

my message if i make it, will be about superantigens, vaccine therapies, rgcc tests, hyperthermia. all terms i have never seen here until i have been threatened with stage4.

cannot you and em handle the juicng and diet issues, i'll focus on the slightly more risky alternatives.

our health, physical, mental and spiritual is essential for me. just thanks.

all my love, thanks, gratitude and sincerest best wishes,

hugs,
pete

ps hopefully not for the last time but if it is then may your god bless you.
i felt such support amongst us juicers and alternatives. scout and em, we are actually the silent majority. most are just to said to say so. i wonder how many cancer patients are taking a few supplements, watching their diet and sipping tea and juice.

trainer's picture
trainer
Posts: 242
Joined: Sep 2008

I wish you and Emily would reconsider your decision to leave the board. You both have been so kind that a lot of people will miss your wisdom and good cheer.

I missed the nastygram comments and the one about Jobs. Please don't let a couple of grouches take you from us. Hoping you reconsider.

Trainer

yoga
Posts: 87
Joined: Feb 2011

As I commented in Emily's post, this is so sad. You are one of the reasons that I began juicing. The juicing is not yet where I want it to be, but I am getting there. While I am going 'traditional' with my treatment I am also wading deeper into the alternative waters.

I came to this site because I was in search of the understanding of others who are dealing with this nasty disease and also for the information and knowledge that so many of you have. Yes, I could research all over the internet (okay, I do that!), but having first hand information is such a wonderful gift. You (and others like you) have provided me with so many new avenues to explore.

I am sorry you have to leave . . . . . but do understand that both you and Emily need to focus on your own health and some of the negative energies from this site are not worth your energies.

Wishing you a long and happy life full of love and laughter.
yoga jo

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I'm sorry to see you go,we have lost a lot of good people.Take care of yourself,and don't for get us.Good luck.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5001
Joined: Feb 2008

Lisa! I hate this! You've been so inspiring and so wonderful. I hope you'll reconsider!

If not, PLEASE remember that we need to meet! It's ridiculous that we live so close and haven't done so yet!

*hugs*
Gail

elizabethgd
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2009

Cant believe what I am reading.. .. you have been here a long time. and still have lots to share... It is sad, but many others will continue to come to the board.. and join "the club"..there are many that will be seeking information and that is what you will share with them.. and a caring heart..Elizabeth

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 905
Joined: May 2008

You were one of the first on the board to comfort me and give me advice on recovering from chemo treatments...thank you, and I haven't forgotten that.

all the best, Leslie

AceSFO's picture
AceSFO
Posts: 230
Joined: Sep 2009

Dear Lisa,

I just logged on here for the first time in a long time in order to give the URL to someone I just met who has colon cancer. I was telling him what a wonderful bunch of people are out there on this board, and while it makes me sad to see you go, I can certainly understand your reasoning. Thanks for all your support and kind words while John was sick. Your support and the support from everyone else on this board made that journey less of a burden for us, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you for what you have given all of us. I hope things are going well with you -
with respect and gratitude,
Adrian

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2397
Joined: Jun 2006

Hi Adrian.....

My Dearest Lisa: you have always been the most generous and gentle of souls. Your unwavering support for me shone through some pretty dark times. Lisa not for one second did I feel you were telling me what to do or judging me or asserting your own ego and knowledge and throwing that around. YOu have the wonderful ability to accept and support people where they are. You also have a large fund of knowledge and kindness.

I hope we will never lose you completely.

I will quote Adrian...."with great respect and gratitude"

maggie

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 569
Joined: Apr 2011

I am a relative newbe. And I opted for juicing, supplements and tea. MY CHOICE, MY LIFE.
I really do NOT understand why someone else would be offended for my choices or call it quackery.
Furthermore I cannot believe what I am reading. We are here to help each other NOT to give each other more stress.
We are all fighting cancer, nobody is really right or wrong in what path to follow. Let let stick to support, what works for you or me without critizicing. Dr and Onc are wrong to,
I received like many here the run arond before I was taken serious. We know our own bodies best.

LISA and EM, we NEED your expertise. Please linger and help us out when we are down and looking for guidance.
Try to ignore the closed minded thinking people on the board. Not everybody has an open mind.
I wish you Gods speed in all your doing.
Hugs, Marjan

thready's picture
thready
Posts: 475
Joined: Sep 2009

Lisa,
I wanted to say thank you for all that you and Emily have done for those of us to have had to deal with cancer. You have kindly taught us so much, you have provided support, you have encouraged us to take care of ourselves so we can live on. Thank you.

I am so sad at this time that I find it difficult to write much more,I am sad beyond words that you would feel the need to leave because of bitter words, but I can tell you that because you were willing to step up and share, I will have a better life. (I posted a better thank you on Emily's post-it is for you also, I am just so sad that it is difficult to say more.)

I respect your decisions and admire you. You are a brave wise fellow semi-colon.

Thank you soooo much
Jan

KFalvey
Posts: 117
Joined: Mar 2005

Dear Scouty,

As I wrote to Emily, I am sorry you have decided to leave this board but understand. I want to Thank You for your help over the years and to let you know it helped me to decide to make the changes to my eating that healed me naturally when the traditional treatments failed. Thank you for all you have done and I truely wish you the best in your future!

K Falvey

crazylady
Posts: 544
Joined: Jun 2004

Dear Lisa,

I just replied to Emily's post with much sadness and feel the same way about your post. You posts have always given me something to think about. You have always been there and it has been comforting for me to know that even though I have not been around much lately.

It saddens me that because of a few close minded people so many others will not benefit from your education or know the caring person that you are.

Take care,
Jamie

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 2764
Joined: May 2009

Understand Lisa,

I used to be on here morning noon and night, just to help someone. It isn't the same anymore. You are correct.

At one point we all acted like we were dying, now some are only acting like they know it all...

I have stage !V cancer and I am living each and every day. Doing all I can to help this body! Do I deviate from the plan, oh yes, I do..... But never from giving my support to you all.

You all keep fighting and helping each other.

Nana B with 11 grand kids!

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