Cancer Survivors Network

Hello everyone! I was diagnosed in November 2005 with an agressive stage IIIB, the battle was long & hard but I survived it! I've been attending college & trying to create a new life, but right now I am trying not to literally freak out!! Please help if you can! Here's the story...for a few months I've been extremely fatigued, losing weight, dizzy & just not feeling good. Doctors couldn't find anything wrong so I thought oh well just adjusting to my new life. Then last night I started urinating blood with clots in it! Went to the doctor and no infection. I have pain especially when passing a clot, but otherwise just more of an aching, slight cramping, pressure type main in my lower abdomen. I even have a pressure pain in the rectal area & have no rectum or part of my colon any longer. They are going to do an ultrasound on my bladder & kidneys Thursday & are making me an appt. with a urologist for a citoscope (sorry if I misspelled). My doctor just kind of shook his head & gave me some kind of pity look. No real explanation as to what is going on. At the time I was in shock, because I just figured a bad UTI or something, so I wasn't prepared to ask questions. Now since I've gotten home and done some research I AM SCARED!! I am showing symptoms of Bladder Cancer! Am I freaking out to soon??? As survivors we are always leary of the "C" word! Can anybody help? I don't know what questions to ask...I'm scared to tell loved ones of my fears because they have been through enough already. I live in a very rural area so getting answers & tests done quick is not easy. Do you guys have any suggesstions? Am I just having a post cancer freak out? About ready to have a break down here! Please help if you can.