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Denial

Cpnqueen
Posts: 29
Joined: Nov 2011

My husband is in denial about his condition, I am actually afraid to tell him the truth again. Should I let him continue to think he is going back to work or tell him the truth again?....

jim and i's picture
jim and i
Posts: 1686
Joined: May 2011

I am confused, why can't your husband go back to work? Please take time to fill out the member page. It will be helpful for many to know what cancer he is battling and those with similar cancers can help with advice.

Does your husband think he will be going back to work during treatment and doctors said no? Or will he be disabled?

Debbie

Cpnqueen
Posts: 29
Joined: Nov 2011

Sorry - He has stage 4 stomach cancer that has spread to his bones. Was told by the doctors that he cannot go back to work. He is only 47 years old and this has hit us like a ton of bricks! We did not have any symptoms or warning signs until it was too late. The chemo we are doing is supposed to help his quality of life according to the drs.

Barbara53's picture
Barbara53
Posts: 659
Joined: Aug 2009

It is so hard not to dwell on everything your husband is losing, which I find to be one of the hardest parts of caregiving. Every day there's something new my mother can't do that she could do the day before. These are not the kind of truths I want to discuss with her, tho. Instead I try to stay in the present and desperately look toward positive truths to fill difficult times. The mounting losses are so hard! Every one of them tick her off for a while, then she regroups and carries on.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1629
Joined: Aug 2009

My guess is that he knows. If he doesn't, maybe that is ok, too. Live in the present. If he talks about going back to work, just change the subject. He is processing this in his own way. Today is what matters, now more than ever. I know this isn't easy. My husband had a six year battle with cancer before his death. We knew from the beginning that we were just buying time. We expected about two years and were really blessed with six. Nobody really knows the future. Just hang on. Fay

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