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What the heck?

JMulkey
Posts: 32
Joined: Apr 2010

What the heck? I'm confused. If hospice is supposed to be so good, how could they say they won't even let my mom get a blood transfusion if she needs one? They say no, they can't do that if she's on hospice. It's 'active' treatment. So what, she's just going to die from anemia??? ReallY???? After all of this last year of fighting so hard, hospice makes the decision she's going to die from anemia? I'm mad. Fighting mad now. After her surgery last year, they told here there was a BUNCH of chemo left for her to try. She's had three total. Now this week her onc says, nope, no more chemo, because her counts are so far down. So he says it's time for hospice. Now today, hospice tells us she cannot have a drain for her ascities, so it can be drained at home, and she can't have a blood transfusion if she needs one, they are BOTH considered 'active' treatment? Seriously? I call that kindness. Not active treatment. Chemo is active treatment. What the heck?

Barbara53's picture
Barbara53
Posts: 659
Joined: Aug 2009

The intake hospice nurse sounded dodgy when I asked about paracentecis (sp?), too. She said that if abdominal fluid was an isolated problem it would be one thing, but not if it's part of a whole system breakdown. Mom has fluid everywhere -- legs, face, belly -- so a drain wouldn't help much and might prolong her suffering.

On the transfusion, I took my Dad for one days before he passed, and I wish I hadn't. It only perked him up for hours, and wasn't worth the day we spent at the hospital in a wheelchair, with him hardly able to hold his head up. If Mom were offered a transfusion now I would have to wonder what for?

After enduring surgery and chemo, it's hard to change your way of thinking to preparing for the end. Our hospice nurse isn't someone we'd pick for a close buddy, but I love that she's been working hospice for 20 years. Day by day, it's getting easier to trust her.

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