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Dumb things people say to you.....

mario33ec
Posts: 22
Joined: Aug 2011

Admist all the sadness and grief lately I wanted to share a few anecdotes of my life as a stage iv survivor since July 5th of this year.
I have a good friend who is also stage iv with sarcoma--we have been talking and sharing walks and how people unintentially say dumb things to you. Or have no gravity of what stage iv means...
Here are a few of me and my friends experiences:
Me: Having a cousin of mine visit me from the states in August. She works for a company that makes drugs for cancer so one would think she is more informed than the rest of the general population. Well I was starting radiation treatmens that same week when she informed me that we were going biking on the weekend. I was very tired and was kinda surprised she would suggest such strenues activity given my diagnoses... a month later she sent an email stating that I had agreed to go to her time share in Las Vegas for Halloween. This was when I was starting round one of chemo and had to be hospitalized for six days... After this experience she finally expressed to family that she "gets it now."
Friend: Just after having her first surgery to remove a football sized tunmour a good friend of her wanted her to sign up for a trip abroad. This friend gave her a list of choices and when she wanted to go-my friend politely declined but was shocked at such a request.
Me: recieving a text from a college friend telling me I should apply for a new job because it had flexible hours... I texted back "you know I have cancer, right? This friend quickly backtracked but I just kept thinking how dumb it was.
Anyway-what I find weird is why any person would suggest vacations when one is first diagnosed with any kind of cancer, regardless even of stage.
I dunno bout my fellow survivors but I have been around the world alot and I am only 33. BUT even if I had NOT I would not be pinning to go to Paris or Hawaii when I have a terminal illness...

Discuss and share your stories...PS I know that peoples intentions are good but most people dont know how to talk to people with cancer. I personally hate the question: "Are you gonna be okaaayyyy?

jim2011's picture
jim2011
Posts: 116
Joined: Sep 2011

A guy I knew told me that he had heard that I died. I asked him why he didn't attend my funeral.

Joel C's picture
Joel C
Posts: 173
Joined: Mar 2011

I could write a book.

Joel

jojoshort's picture
jojoshort
Posts: 241
Joined: May 2011

What a comeback! You had me laughing mightily at this one.
Jo-Ann

T-Bird
Posts: 25
Joined: Aug 2011

"well, you look/sound good"
"you'll be just fine" is probably my all time "worst of the worst"

quote from Mario "I dunno bout my fellow survivors but I have been around the world alot and I am only 33. BUT even if I had NOT I would not be pinning to go to Paris or Hawaii when I have a terminal illness... " unquote

maybe I think differently, but travel is what I want to do - especially since I am feeling relatively good enough to travel - god only knows what I will be feeling like in a month, let alone next year. What if I don't get this opportunity again? What if, what if, what if.

We went to Mexico in August after my first round of treatments were completed and it was probably one of the best trips we have had. I also just finished booking a two week vacation in Mexico for December - a trip we have taken annually for the past 8 years to celebrate our anniversary - what if we don't get that chance next December (what if, what if?)

I just started my 2nd round of chemo treatments and my doctor has agreed to work around my absence for the two weeks, so.......no what if's here ;)

Edited to add: Please note that my bottom line decision wise to travel is, if I am feeling good enough and have all my ducks in a row (insurance wise, health care benefits, a Plan B if something happens, etc.), then, I am most definately going to go and enjoy what this world has to offer me.

Teresa

oriontj
Posts: 390
Joined: Jul 2009

and we're going December 4th. We also have three other times and went on a 21 day trip to Alaska. Good thing we did because walking is hard for him due to neurophy.

Where in Mexico. My family spent every Christmas there from the time I was 12 til I was 28..Acapulco and I'd love to go back..maybe some day.

jan

ArchTB's picture
ArchTB
Posts: 157
Joined: Dec 2010

People mean well and that's what matters. I don't think we can expect everyone to get into the skin of a patient or a caregiver and GET IT right away. There is a huge disconnect and it is understandable. We got a lot of comments, suggestions and offers that to us sounded completely unreasonable, but i don't think people make those out of ignorance or stupidity. I think it is quite impressive that your friend was willing to take you for a trip or arrange a vacation for you. When Tom was finishing his radiation treatments and was feeling sick throwing up every day, my sister suggested that I need to get pregnant to motivate Tom's recovery... Right...

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Thank you as caregiver to my hubby, I just want to be remembered, and asked to go do things ever when we can not it is still nice to be asked.
I am not a college educated person and am for sure not s speller or know how to say things right, But I do care about people . I am really not sure how to comment on peoples post anymore for fear I will say something that will set them off or hurt them.
We hear want to visit you but..... want to call you but..... So I am one of the ones that most likely would say the wrong thing . And lately have seen so many post that imply that better to say nothing at all anymore.

Daisylin's picture
Daisylin
Posts: 380
Joined: May 2011

I'm not sure if you are talking about this site, saying "And lately have seen so many post that imply that better to say nothing at all anymore". I hope we have not said anything, ever to offend you, or anyone else. We all value each other's friendship, support, encouragement and love. If you feel offended by anything we've said here, I am so sorry. We have all vented, cried and shared our opinions to each other honestly, freely and from our own experiences. Sometimes the truth hurts, I know I've read some things here that have shocked and frightened me. BUT I do know that nobody here has ever posted anything purposely meant to offend others. I really hope you have not taken offence to anything we've said.....

I agree, friends and family do tend to say and do things that make you shake your head. My favourite is all the people who offered to bring food over when Lee started not being able to swallow. They certainly meant well, but part of me wondered if they were thinking "Poor Lee, Chantal's cooking is just so terrible, we'd better bring him something decent to eat" lol

Anyways, everyone deals with the grief of hearing such bad news differently, and sometimes we all say dumb things. If I had a dollar for every time I told Lee that "we are going to beat this thing", I'd be a rich lady.

Be well (and Eric, if you are reading this......I'm having my coffee, CHEERS)
Chantal

wiltingnoh
Posts: 6
Joined: Nov 2011

My husband too has had several comments that they had been told he died. That was back in 2009 when he had a quadruple bypass.

The worst thing he has been told was by his 40yr. old son Sunday night. He called to talk to his Dad and in the course of the conversation he said, "I'll be frank with you Dad, you look like ****."

Cathy

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Well I know people say dumb things I get that, but I just think we need to get a grip on it. They really mean well. Most people will run the other way for fear they will say the worse thing. Thank you all for your good work. It was not just this site! I seen a post "what not to say to a person with cancer" on a site.
I know people say dumb things I am not exception. Being a caregiver, I have hear allot lately. oh was going to call but... was going to come over but.... I get it.
I am guilty of the dumb thing rule to in a way. I hate when people ask me how did you lose your leg? Like I could lose it haha. But I laugh and tell them a wild story.
I am sorry . Was not aimed at this site at all.
Just venting ...

Truely sorry just a hard road to go down.

Ginny_B's picture
Ginny_B
Posts: 537
Joined: Sep 2011

Zinniemay,

I like your posts! You should post more often! I can't spell either, so feel free to post away no matter how you spell. What you have to say is important.

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

I think what everyone is saying is important. I don't dimiss any of it. Just sometimes as a caregiver and wife of almost 38 years I have heard it all.I know most of the dumb things people say they say hoping to give you hope. The biggest support I get is from all of you that are going down this road and know the worries and fears are so real, sometimes It feels like it can't be real. I just think you all are great support to me.
I got the nickname Zinnie May cause a little girl could not say Ginny Mae (my southern name) se would say Zinniemay.THank you Ginny_B and all you have always been kind and helpful to me. I am ,if we can be truely blessed to have found this site.

Ginny_B's picture
Ginny_B
Posts: 537
Joined: Sep 2011

I'm Ginny - short for Virginia. Hubby and I will be married 40 years this coming July. He has been a great help and support to me with mom's cancer. He just had leg surgery a week ago and came through like a trooper.

My mom had a nickname too: DamMa. My son couldn't say grandma.

Take care, Zinnie May - love your name!

chemosmoker's picture
chemosmoker
Posts: 525
Joined: Aug 2011

Coffee in hand and spitting out out as I laugh, and cry, with you. I miss him.

BMGky
Posts: 666
Joined: May 2010

I am the first to say that I repeatedly say the dumbest things at the worst when trying to express support and/or condolences. How many times have I asked someone, "You doing okay?" when it is quite obvious they've lost a loved one or are going through great distress. I will not repeat some of my most egregious blunders, but life goes on. They may roll their eyes or have a quick comeback but they know I truly care. We ineffectual communicators are just trying to make the hurt and pain go away, no matter how inelegant the way of expressing it.

Fortunately, Bill has salvaged most of my miscues by explaining what I meant. I'm so thankful God provided him for me to take care of me. As he once said with great affection that for an intelligent woman, I could pull some of the dumbest stunts imaginable.

So, the pain of the EC diagnosis is inexpressible, emotions are frayed beyond capacity, and someone cheerily making a seemingly superficial suggestion can definitely strike a nerve. They just don't get the severity of the diagnosis; the brutality of the treatment; the yuccky odds; the enormous pain being endured. Even when you try to explain, they go, "Uh-Huh, my [insert family member] had [insert cancer type], and they had to go through real cancer treatment." You smile and nod knowingly, recognizing they just don't get it and pray they never have to find out for themselves.

It is important everyone freely post their feelings, fears, and joys as this is, as far as I am concerned, the only place you have knowledgeable, truly committed friends trying to help based on actual experience, and willing to overlook our flaws. BMGky

Donna70's picture
Donna70
Posts: 920
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi,
I have posted these before but they are always good for a laugh, my SIL visiting before my esophagectomy, stating over and over, "I am not going to get cancer. I am a positive person."???? did she think I thought myself into stage III EC. And I would tell her not to say that it upset me and she often repeated it.I am for being positive, but with an NG tube sticking out of my nose and fixing food for her, this was hard but I can laugh about it now, well maybe a little. Also, can't eat very thin and you hear, "Boy, wish I was that thin"????? But most people mean well and many cannot understand our unique point of view. We don't want anyone to go thru this. I love the one about thought you were dead. You have to have a sense of humor to survive for sure. Love this board and everyone on it. take care,
Donna70

sandy1943's picture
sandy1943
Posts: 883
Joined: Jun 2010

People mean well, they just don't know what to say, so they say dumb things. Most of the time all we need is someone to give us a hug--say they are praying and they care. I had a friend that I did not hear from when I went through treatment. she said later, she didn't know what to say and I told her just an "I care" would have helped, but I still hurt because of the ones that chose to go the other way.Some people treat cancer as a taboo illness and it scares them.
That's what's so great about this site, we can talk openly,but even then, things sometimes
come out wrong.
Sandra

Wife of patient...
Posts: 129
Joined: Oct 2011

1. In the elevator up to the ocolcogy infusion floor, a lady asked me... do you come here often?

2. A Friend: What are you so upset about? He will be just fine. You are over reacting! Are you guys you going to San carlos to dive this year? Is the boat ready? One month later: Oh my god.. I saw a documentary on EC. What do you need? Call me anytime, I am here for you guys. How is D. What can I do?

3. Co-worker: give him strawberries and blue berries! People are cured, they contain anti- oxidants, it is all over the internet! It's guranteed!(sp)

4.You should of taken him to the doctor sooner. (sweet little me.... wanted to smack her)

Zinniemay....this forum provides people dealing with EC the opportunity to communicate, to share experiences, to educate and support each other. Emotions are RAW! What I appreciate ….there is no sugar coating here. The forum…... is rich with compassion and sentiment. One can be offended only if one choses to be.
Spelling… Well obviously there is not an english major on board; a lot of us would be in trouble. Although mine … mostly typos:):)
Tell your story, there is no judgment here…If someone offends you.. no worries… Chantal will hold them down……Heeran will punch them… Chemosguy will kick them, William will pray.. Terry can be the cheerleader and BMGky will give them a piece of her mind.. And I will……………….dot them to death.
Sal

dodger21's picture
dodger21
Posts: 85
Joined: May 2011

Woah....we have a tough street gang with Chantal, Heeran, Chemosmoker and others going into a fight...lol!

When I came back from being given the clear by my work doctor to be on full duties my boss held a meeting with me and others in the office to have them help on one of my cases.
He started,"Well, because you might drop dead"....pause for my offended face..."or get hit by a bus, we are going to get xxxx to help..."

mario33ec
Posts: 22
Joined: Aug 2011

A couple other ancecdotes:

1. My mother casually saying in the summer that they found a cure for cancer and they will announce it next week....I was like what the hell are you talking about? If there was a cure they whole world media would be on top of it! Plus the fact is that cancer is really 200 different diseases and not one major disease... I think she was just trying to be positive but did not say it correctly.

2. Waiting to see the oncologist and hearing the assistant who weighs me ask if I am working??? I just wanted to smack him!

3. So called nutritional experts who tell you to drink only this or eat only that to cure your cancer. I am for hollistic and dietary approaches but people need to remember that cancer is a biological disease! Healthy altletes such as Lance Armstrong got cancer and they were all super healthy! How do people explain that? Plus the fact that people who smoke all their lives and drink who never get cancer at all.

Okay- done venting!

ritawaite13's picture
ritawaite13
Posts: 249
Joined: Aug 2011

You all definately need to do a little stand up. Too funny! My favorite is one I've been guilty of over and over when I go to a funeral or visitation, hug the bereaved and say "how are you?" COME ON!! "How are you"?? Really Rita, can't you do better than that??
Hugs to you all
Rita

Daisylin's picture
Daisylin
Posts: 380
Joined: May 2011

I must have been asked that question about 50 times since Lee's passed. (probably even more than that actually) and what do I say the majority of the time? "I'm fine thanks, how are you". So stupid...... even as I'm saying it, I feel like an idiot! I'm fine?????

Anyways, to add to the dumb things, the posts about nutrition had me laughing. We actually (no, I'm not kidding) bought a juicer for about $200, and tried to make cabbage juice. Kills cancer don't ya know! Oh, god help me, what a disaster! Do not try this at home. The house reeked for weeks, the juicer never lost the smell and the taste was absolutely repulsive. So dumb!

ritawaite13's picture
ritawaite13
Posts: 249
Joined: Aug 2011

Oh Chantal, I bought one of those too!!! I tried making carrot juice - now that's what really kills cancer!! I even mixed it with apple juice because Greg loved apple juice - bad plan! I still have an orange stain on my carpet from where he threw that right back up! The orange stain is very close to the red one from the cherry gatorade mixed with greens. WTH was I thinking?? Thankfully after Greg passed, my daughter thought she could make use of it so it now resides at her house. I don't think she's actually used it yet but who cares, at least It's not taking up space at mine and reminding me of some of my more feeble attempts at curing my husband. Gotta love it, right?

Daisylin's picture
Daisylin
Posts: 380
Joined: May 2011

I'm still scrubbing coke off my ceilings and walls from a well intentioned nurse who was trying to unclog the feeding tube!
My grape juice stains and Jevity turned to concrete stains are saying hello to your carrot and gatorade stains...... lol

Do gotta love it, but glad we are both able to laugh about it a bit. My stinky juicer is now at my parent's house!!! May they enjoy it as much as I did.

Ginny_B's picture
Ginny_B
Posts: 537
Joined: Sep 2011

Well gosh... what can I say? I'll just put thoughts on "paper" with no segue. Re"How are you" - I think they want to hear responses like: I'm a wreck, or I'm lost in a fog, or who knows. I think How are you is a mere formality in the face of not knowing what else to ask. Typically, if I hug a bereaved I simply say, "Oh honey, I'm so sorry."

I have a friend I walk with every morning and she never asks dumb questions. She does allow me to vent and then says "I understand completely". She always ends with "I'm here for you even if you just need an ear." That has always been a sort of just right thing to say.

I guess people just don't know what to say. I'm sort of always at a loss for words. I certainly would hate to hear someone say I looked like *&^% or that my mom looked terrible. In a sense, there probably just isn't a correct thing to say or ask -- is there?

Trave; Ahh... now this is (hard to write this as I set here cheering for USC 31-14 over Oregon)... ok travel. I would be the first one to say travel! I love travel. There is nothing (for me) as relaxing and mind/body-soothing as being at sea, or walking down the Chance de elysee at night, or sitting outside overlooking a lake and listening to birds. This is probably like living in the movies, eh?

Now that I see how my mom is faring with chemoradiation, I realize that there would be no way she could travel. I guess it's all about what the patient can physically do. I guess I'm rambling and not making any sense - the Trojans are looking hot!

AngieD's picture
AngieD
Posts: 504
Joined: Sep 2011

This discussion reminds me of one of the books I bought this summer when my husband was first diagnosed with stage IV EC: "Help Me Live--20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know" by Lori Hope. She is a lung cancer survivor and the book is, of course, about words and actions that are most helpful. But, she also goes into some of the bizarre things people said and did, also.

And, I have to chime in on the travel issue. Having travel plans has been a huge help to my husband. It's served as a goal, a motivation, something to keep his mind off chemo, and an act of faith. We recently returned from an 18 day trip between his 5th and 6th chemo rounds and he did and felt great! Walked and walked; ate and ate; and we both had a fabulous time for which we are SO grateful.

So, I guess maybe, like everything else in life, people with cancer are all different. What is a salve to one is a scrape or a stab to another.

Angie

jojoshort's picture
jojoshort
Posts: 241
Joined: May 2011

The multitude of cures "if we would only try them"
The priest who could lay hands on and cure cancer
The medal from the overseas shrine
The natural foods cures
The alternative doctors cures

And yet, I understand them all. People trying to help. I had my own revelation when my coworker's wife was diagnosed with brain cancer (4 months before we got Steve's diagnosis). I recall thinking "I wonder if she used the cell phone a lot, that's why she got cancer". Then when Steve got EC, it hit me that cancer can be a non-discriminatory disease--you can be healthy, you can do all the right stuff and still get cancer. Something in us wants to believe that there's a reason for this when in fact it seems to have little rationale at all. Why does a health nut like Lance Armstrong get cancer when the town drunk seems to go unscathed? And now I think that's what scares most people: the randomness of the disease.

Chin up, all. We're getting through this somehow one day at a time, thanks to support from people who care.
This board is a great source of support.
Jo-Ann

jgwright's picture
jgwright
Posts: 252
Joined: Oct 2011

People who aren't in the loop yet ask, "How are you?" as a generic comment, not that they REALLY want to know, so my response is, "Well, all things considered, I'm doing okay." Not a lie, but its all THEY need.

Friends, family, my students, and the HR department get a fuller update if it's needed. Family really does want to know. Here I am, this trailbreaker. No one in my family has had cancer, as far as I know. So my brothers and sisters and kids are concerned, not only for me, but for themselves. As I am concerned for them.

As to grammar, one of the things I do is edit stories and novels in my "copious free time"(tm). But honesty and sharing are way more important than correct spelling and meticulous grammar.

And as was said earlier, hugs are better than questions.

--Jerry

cher76's picture
cher76
Posts: 302
Joined: Nov 2010

My example of uncomfortable things people say: I had retired from 33 years of teaching in May of 2010 and Rickie was diagnosed in Oct. of 2010. Many friends, acquaintances, students' parents, ex-coworkers, etc have run into me and asked "How is your retirement going?" or "How are you enjoying your retirement? Bet you're glad to be free to do what you want, whenever you want." How do you answer that one??? They obvious don't know about Rickie, so if I say nothing about it and answer "Great, I'm really enjoying it" what are they going to think when they do find out? But on the other hand if I explain the situation I always feel guilty about making them feel uncomfortable. It's a no win situation!

I agree that people just want to be helpful but the majority just don't know what to say. I too am guilty of being such a person. Lately I have been thinking about the times I said nothing or avoided someone because I just couldn't find the right words to say. I realize now I should have just called them to say hello and that I was thinking about them. I realize now just how far those little words go to help someone through a rough day. I think sometimes people are afraid (myself included) of what the grieving person might say. You know that awkward moment. Usually I find that after I have made myself call or go visit that it wasn't that bad at all. Last spring one of my husband's longtime friends had just found out about Rickie's cancer and called to say hello and that he was thinking of us. Poor guy, he called at a very vulnerable time for me and I had a complete meltdown on the phone! Afterwards I felt so bad for him, I thought about how hard it must have been for him to call, and then I really made it hard. I ended up calling him back and apologizing to him for wigging out on him. He was so gracious and said no apology was needed, and I felt so much better for having done it.
Cheryl
wife of Rickie, dx Stage IV, Oct. 2010
mets to bones and brain

Ginny_B's picture
Ginny_B
Posts: 537
Joined: Sep 2011

I was at the beauty salon getting a haircut. The only folks in there were the owner and my hairdresser. The subject turned to mom's cancer and the Q&A went just fine. Then the owner looked at me and asked, "How are YOU?" (emphasis on "you"). Well, duh. I couldn't respond. Tears welled and I just said fine and waved my hand as if to say no more questions. Fortunately I was leaving at the time, so I made a quick escape with words of comfort trailing behind me. Sat in the car and cried.

BobHaze's picture
BobHaze
Posts: 159
Joined: Sep 2011

Yup - a good friend actually said that to me when I told him I had EC. I had just had my EUS and learned I was Stage 1A, but still it seemed to me like the stupidest, most insensitive thing anyone could say. I'm sure he meant well...somehow...but, really!

Bob
dx 8/3/11
MIE 9/23/11 @ Mass General Hospital

Ginny_B's picture
Ginny_B
Posts: 537
Joined: Sep 2011

Oh my. Talk about the WRONG thing to say! I guess they just wanted to sort of relate or something. Oh dear. That does seem to be a common thing for folks to say though.

MissusB's picture
MissusB
Posts: 112
Joined: Jul 2011

People feel the need to tell you who they knew that died from EC, and we got the same thing when Bill had liver cancer before his transplant. When discussing Bill's EC, my own mother (who was a nurse), said something to the effect of "if you're gonna have cancer, that's a bad one to have". One of my best friends told me I was being "dramatic" and said "Bill's not going to die". I've gotten to the point where I don't talk about it a lot because I never know what I'm going to hear. I'm sure people don't know what to say and I'd like to think that after they get home and think about it they realize their commentary was DUMB!

On the other hand, I've also had a lot of people also tell me that they've had friends and relatives who beat EC, and those comments make up for the insensitive ones! I love hearing about the long time survivors, and that is a lot of what keeps us going!

Freida
Posts: 191
Joined: Nov 2011

When I told a prof I might miss some classes because my husband had just been diagnosed with cancer, he told me he was just reading a book about how more people die of cancer than any other disease. Luckily I was in a stable mood that day and not one of my meltdown moods! In my head I was thinking "Really!!!! Really!!! This is your response!!!". Subsequently he did follow up by saying we should consider going to a major cancer center as his Dad was treated at a non specialized place before finally going to a major center, and going to the new place made a huge difference. It was good advice and when we met the local oncologist who did not fill us with confidence, my first words to my husband when we got in the car was that we were going to go to M D Anderson.

My best support has been my friend whose infant son had cancer. I also got some wonderful support on an internet site I have been part of for years (nothing to do with cancer). I asked if anyone had experience with esophageal cancer and received so much wonderful support and advice including several anecdotal stories about friends/family who had survived it.

Daisylin's picture
Daisylin
Posts: 380
Joined: May 2011

Ok, I've got 2 of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my life. I waited a while to post them, because honestly, I don't know if anyone would actually believe that anyone could be so STUPID

Ok, the first thing, when I was making phone calls the day Lee passed, I called his buddy to let him know. We chatted for a bit, and he was very upset and full of condolences. Then, as we were ending the conversation, he says (and no word of a lie.....) "oh, man, this is going to ruin my whole night" I actually got off the phone and told my parents what he said. We all started laughing so hard, we couldn't stop. Dumb or what??

Second thing (again, no word of a lie) I went to my family doctor a few months ago. Lee and I shared the same doc, so he was quite aware of Lee's prognosis. He first asked me how long we've been married and then asked 'if I could do it all over again, would I?' I thought that was a bit of a rude question, what am I going to say to that one???????? No, I wish I never met him??? dumb...... but wait, it gets better......

He then proceeds to tell me that on his way to work this morning he saw a squirrel on the side of the road that had just got hit by a car. It was still alive, but barely. He then goes on to tell me how he wanted to back up and run it over, to put it out of it's misery. (now keep in mind that this is while we are discussing Lee, and how poorly he'd been feeling) OMG...... I had no idea what to even say to him, so I just smiled and nodded, like I completely understood. What the heck was he talking about?????

Anyways, I left the appointment shaking my head, and in a complete state of disbelief.... what a moron! Couldn't make that one up, truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

So, there's the laugh of the day, enjoy
Chantal

Cora11's picture
Cora11
Posts: 177
Joined: Sep 2011

A neighbor once flagged me down while I was on a quiet walk, trying to just get away from cancer for a few minutes. She stopped me to tell me she heard about Keith and she gave me her sympathy. But then... she went on and on... how she knew 3 people who died from EC...went into all the brutal details of their death. This was about 2 weeks into it for us. Then she said "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call!" Ya..right... just about the dumbest, stupidest s#*t anyone could ever say. I wish people would learn that sometimes "less is truly more."
Cora

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