Checking In

Hi all:

Basketcase checking in here! Got back from NC on Sat. afternoon. Had a good time. Got my in-laws tree up and decorated for them. It was so............pretty driving up and back with the leaves and color and all. I don't know if I've mentioned that my Mother-in-law had to get used to the idea that Charlie was creamated or not but she did! Now she has very bad short term memory (she's 82) so I have to go over everything every time I go in and tell her what the onc. told us when he was admitted and how serious everything was, yadda, yadda. Not something I look forward to doing but considering the situation I'm patient and tell her because she does forget! Anyway, on Thursday night, she tells me she's been meaning to ask me if Charlie wanted to be creamated! Well, the look of shock and disbelief on my face must have been apparent and I said, "Do you honestly think I would have done that if it had not been what he wanted"? She said, "Oh, of course, but sometimes you have to act on the spur of the moment". Well, I went thru everything again and told her that's what he wanted and told me that's what he wanted and reminded her again that I will be cremated and I want our ashes mixed together and scatter on the NC/TN state line going into G'burg, TN. Well, I thought that would do it for this trip - WRONG! The next morning (Oh, on the nite before she said if she and his dad were cremated they could still be buried and I said of course, (but I did remind her of the fact it's a small fortune for opening and closing a grave (money is an issue with them even though they have plots!) but she said if they were buried that way their ashes wouldn't turn to dirt so soon! (I think she missed the part in the Bible where it says "ashes to ashes and dust to dust!) But anyway the next morning while I was decorating the tree, she asks me, "In the unlikely event that you should pass on before Harold and me, would you give us Charlie's ashes and the urn?" Well, I was caught off guard that the first word out of my mouth was "No!" And then I told her again what my wishes would be. She seemed alright with it. My sister said when I told her, "Give it up lady, the man got married and left home for 40 years; you have no control!" I think she also missed the verse about "a man shall leave his mother and cleave only to his wife!" Now they are 82 and 87 and closer to being 83 and 88 and I'm 58. Not that that necessarily makes any difference. However, my brother-in-law knows everything I want done and he and his wife will be cremated also and he wants his ashes scattered over the golf course. God love 'em; they are precious and their 62nd anniversary was Sat. when I left. I am going back in at Christmas as they want me to be there and I want to be there with them. I always take Charlie when I go in and they seem to appreciate that.

Now on to more serious matters. Please continue in prayer for my nephew Brian. They took him from nursing home/rehab and admitted him to the hospital to try and find out why he's losing weight. They don't know as the test did not show anything. However last week the Ct Scan and MRI shows that he's had a stroke of some sort and there's some bleeding in the brain but don't know whether it's an old bleed or a new bleed. And the medicine they would give for stroke could affect the bleed and vice versa so they just are going to see how it goes. He's somewhat alert and is still talking but not like he was. So we're just praying harder and that' our prayer focus now. I don't know if this is what they meant by it may 12 to 18 months before we know if he's going to be like he was before the accident or what. Just please keep him and his mother, Gaye, in your prayers! Well, gotta go and pay bills now. Hope everyone had a Happy Veteran's Day and Have a Happy Thanksgiving! God Bless!

Jan (Basketcase)

Comments

  • ratface
    ratface Member Posts: 1,337 Member
    You continue to inspire
    Hi Jan, well you continue to live life at break neck speed with all your energy going to help other family members and even baking cookies for the doctors. The whole cremation thing was comical. I attended a seminar last month at the local funeral home and decided that is the way I will go also. Undecided about the ash location?. Perhaps just a simple coffee can? Will keep your nephew in my thoughts. Have a great Holiday.
  • longtermsurvivor
    longtermsurvivor Member Posts: 1,842 Member
    On doing the best you can
    My parents are 87/86. Dad not only has dementia, but he's become very angry, abusive, and domineering. Picking huge fights with his immediate family, including me, the last few years. I finally had to give up, deciding my participation in his life was upsetting to the point of making both of us miserable. So I finally backed completely out of his life, and coincidentally, that off my mother, who is stuck, at least partially voluntarily, in the mess that is the last few years of his existance. They don't even know of my malignancy.

    There's no takehome lesson to this. I guess we do the best we can with the circumstances as they exist. My hat's off to you for the energy and persevearance you obviously have to handle this situation with the grace you obviously do.

    Best wishes
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    JANNNNNN.....
    LOL, HI Jan, just wanted to give you a big Jannnnn HELLLO.

    Keep the Faith,
    John
  • Pumakitty
    Pumakitty Member Posts: 652
    Hi
    Just wanted to say "Hi" and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!


    Kathy
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    Hi Jan

    As always I look forward to hear from you. When they cremate me my ashes will be planted under an Avocado tree in Honduras so that I can bare fruit, ha ha ha.

    I am so sorry to hear that your nephew is still not doing so well, will continue to keep him in prayer

    Hondo