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Today I realized

TracieLC1972
Posts: 15
Joined: Oct 2011

Today I realized I have cancer. I have a new aide and today was her first day and she is the first one that actually wanted to work, the first two just say on their you know what and did you know what but as she and I talked she was saying the tiredness and the pain and just the kinda I don't know the I guess the aches and stuff goes along with cancer at least with other people that she has taken care of. You talk about the kinda relief and the sadness too. So after she left I also just layed here and thought. I have a doctor appt. on wednesday to sit down with the doctor,dietian,and onc nurse so my husband and I can get everything straight with the chemo and my diet and just everything because my chem starts next week. Well, Cindy my aide asked if on her own time if she could go and ask her own questions and everything so when I get sick or when I need something she will need to know how to take care of me when my husband isn't around and she said she is going to write down some questions of her own if we will allow her to go. Now come on this touched me that someone that just met me cares enough to go one her time to find out to care for me. I'm sorry I am rambling on and on. I just wanted to post that I just wondered how everyone everyone came to the realization that she came that CANCER was apart of life now

Thanx,
Trac

Kaleena's picture
Kaleena
Posts: 1020
Joined: Nov 2009

Tracie:

Everyone experiences this differently. Some people accept it (whether they like it or not) and deal with it. Others, go through a period of "why me" "what did I do to deserve this", etc., until or when they accept it. Then there are the few who never accept it. I believe it is the support system that a person has and the person themselves how this is determined. There is no right or wrong answer to accepting this fact.

For me, it was better to accept it quickly so that I can deal with what I have to do. I am blessed to have a great support from my husband and family. Still, I also don't always tell my husband that I am tired (I still get extremely tired sometimes even though I haven't had chemo for five years). I still get twinges of pain, etc., and have little panic attacks thinking that cancer is back. It is only human to have these feelings. But these moments are only a blink in my everyday living.

Sometimes when I am feeling sorry for myself or feeling sad about stuff (and my husband's see this), he will make his pouty face to me and then I laugh and shrugg it off. Sometimes these feelings come about when a loved one has died or someone else that you know passes and it brings to head your own mortality.

I found that after treatment is over is sometimes the difficult part. Not difficult in the sense of hard, but how people and sometimes doctors treat you. What catagory are you in? You still have concerns and questions and dietary questions which no one really can answer. You still have follow-up tests and exams. And this is where this site comes in very handy. You can get your answers here because most of us are thinking some of the same questions.

As with many forms of recovery, you cannot heal unless you have acceptance. May your treatment go smooth and your recovery quick.

My best to you.

Kathy

txtrisha55's picture
txtrisha55
Posts: 423
Joined: Apr 2011

I realized "cancer" back in 1992 when my Mom was diagnosed in February 92 with soft tissue sarcoma and lost that battle 1 May 92. Actually it was before that, as my ex Mother in Law had breast cancer and lost her battle in 1991. Then my Mom in 1992. Then my best friend’s Mom was found to have breast cancer and lost her battle in 1993. Then my ex Father in Law lost his battle with cancer in 2001. Now in 2011 I was diagnosed to have MMMT uterine cancer. I am currently NED as of 12 Sep. So cancer has always been there. I knew that it was a cruel disease. But things have changed a lot since 1990’s and even early 2000’s. New chemo’s and different treatments and even healthier life style changes can be made to help in the fight. I personally am having a harder time with the healthier life style changes but still trying to change some of my eating habits. It’s hard to change after 55 years of eating one way and now having to change. But one step, one choice, one meal one day at a time.
It is nice to have someone, aide, to help and take some of those questions on. I had my daughter and sister, go with me to the appointments, surgery, stay with me at home, chemo treatments and CT scans. I also had my childhood best friend at the surgery and during my hospital stay with me. So had lots of support there.
Good Luck with the chemo. Mine personally was very easy for me. I had great chemo nurses where I went in Dallas was UTSW Cancer Center. Each patient had their own room, with TV with DVD, recliner for the patient, they had snacks, we took a ice chest with food and drinks in each time because the Center’s lunch room food was BAD, we also took cards and played canasta and movies. My daughter went to each chemo treatment and my best friend came up. Did not know how the chemo treatment would go but by #3 I drove home as I was not affected by the drugs.
Day 3 after chemo is when I started feeling tired and hurting but that passed by Day 7. For me it was about 4 days down time – days 3-7, then I started feeling better. Knock on wood, I was not sick and did not throw up anytime during the whole May to August treatment.
Each person is different just like each chemo treatment is different and each cancer is different. Keep a positive attitude as it will serve you well. I will keep you and all the other women on this site in my prayers.
trish

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