Crying

Ginny_B
Ginny_B Member Posts: 532
in Esophageal Cancer #1
Something Chemosmoker said prompted me to think about crying. Yesterday at the hospital with my mom she said she had not had a good cry over learning if my brother's wife's brain mets. She blamed that on her high BP. I told her this is no reason in the world for not crying and if that's what she felt like doing then go ahead. I put my hand on her head and the floodgates opened. She cried and cried.

I told the nurse to just let her cry when she feels like it. Personally, I think crying is a necessary part of life and a very good release of emotions. I think I've shed a tear or become teary-eyed almost every day since my mom's diagnosis, but really cried over my sister-in-law's brain cancer. That just really hit hard.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying
This link talks about crying from a logical standpoint and I think it has some really good points. I also believe that crying by the patient is a good thing - and crying by the caregiver is equally good. What I don't like about crying is that I look dreadfully awful before, during and after a good cry, I can't talk when I'm crying (frustrating), and I seem to cry at the drop of a hat these days.

So for those of you who haven't had a good cry - go right ahead. And if you have, good for you - did it help you feel better?

Comments

  • Luvs24
    Luvs24 Member Posts: 75
    #2
    Your RIGHT!
    Thank you Ginny for posting that and I am so glad you and your mom had a good cry. (And Eric, too!)

    My dad has had a rough couple of days and I thought the doctors couldn't get him in until Friday for fluids, but as it turns out he didn't want to inconvenience anyone. WHAT? I was right there ready. Most of the neighbors say, "if you need the car, its yours..." Because I didn't push it, he got behind on getting much needed fluids.

    I was angry, frustrated, sad, hurt that he thought he was putting anyone out. Not only did I cry, but it was after I did a mile on the tread mill and many vigorous laps in the pool.

    Got myself together and went back to the house and proceeded as normal. Then when things were said about the fluids, I said my peace being more matter of fact. Luckily I remember reading on here at some point not to take things personal, so that helped me get over a lot of it.

    Beth
  • rdraetta
    rdraetta Member Posts: 20
    #3
    Luvs24 said:

    Your RIGHT!
    Thank you Ginny for posting that and I am so glad you and your mom had a good cry. (And Eric, too!)

    My dad has had a rough couple of days and I thought the doctors couldn't get him in until Friday for fluids, but as it turns out he didn't want to inconvenience anyone. WHAT? I was right there ready. Most of the neighbors say, "if you need the car, its yours..." Because I didn't push it, he got behind on getting much needed fluids.

    I was angry, frustrated, sad, hurt that he thought he was putting anyone out. Not only did I cry, but it was after I did a mile on the tread mill and many vigorous laps in the pool.

    Got myself together and went back to the house and proceeded as normal. Then when things were said about the fluids, I said my peace being more matter of fact. Luckily I remember reading on here at some point not to take things personal, so that helped me get over a lot of it.

    Beth

    crying
    I tell my husband all the time that crying is good ,it helps for sure to release your feelings.We cry ,we laugh and love .
    God is with us and that helps lots. Good luck and our prayers are with you and everyone else on this site. God Bless RD
  • Jenny32
    Jenny32 Member Posts: 23
    #4
    You are so right. Crying is
    You are so right. Crying is a great release. When I found out about my father's diagnosis, I cried and cried the entire weekend away. I cried like I hadn't cried in years. I think I must have cried every tear out of my system because I haven't cried again in almost a month it seems. I think I have been just running on autopilot and I am sure one of these days here soon reality is going to catch up to me again and the flood gates will open. I can feel myself teetering on the edge and feeling overwhelmed lately with all of the frequent doctor appointments. Then I stop and think to myself, all of these doctor's appointments are not even for me. I wonder how he even feels about all of this? I don't even know if he has cried yet. That is not something I have asked him or feel like I can ask him. I just listen to him when ever he does share his feelings about his cancer. I think he is trying to be really tough right now and that is what he wants of me as well. But sometimes when I look at him and see how frail he is, it's hard to smile when I can't see my dad past his cancer. I try to keep my "game face" on for him though because I know that is what he wants. I know he would rather see me laugh than cry any day and I feel the same for him. So for now, I will reserve the tears I cry for him and save them for those moments when I am alone. I prefer to cry alone any how. He probably does too. Maybe that will change though as we go along.
  • Ginny_B
    Ginny_B Member Posts: 532
    #5
    Jenny32 said:

    You are so right. Crying is
    You are so right. Crying is a great release. When I found out about my father's diagnosis, I cried and cried the entire weekend away. I cried like I hadn't cried in years. I think I must have cried every tear out of my system because I haven't cried again in almost a month it seems. I think I have been just running on autopilot and I am sure one of these days here soon reality is going to catch up to me again and the flood gates will open. I can feel myself teetering on the edge and feeling overwhelmed lately with all of the frequent doctor appointments. Then I stop and think to myself, all of these doctor's appointments are not even for me. I wonder how he even feels about all of this? I don't even know if he has cried yet. That is not something I have asked him or feel like I can ask him. I just listen to him when ever he does share his feelings about his cancer. I think he is trying to be really tough right now and that is what he wants of me as well. But sometimes when I look at him and see how frail he is, it's hard to smile when I can't see my dad past his cancer. I try to keep my "game face" on for him though because I know that is what he wants. I know he would rather see me laugh than cry any day and I feel the same for him. So for now, I will reserve the tears I cry for him and save them for those moments when I am alone. I prefer to cry alone any how. He probably does too. Maybe that will change though as we go along.

    The day we were told, mom
    The day we were told, mom and I were pretty quiet. We had to go here and go there and then get lunch then go home. We were fine... up until the part where we had to say good bye and I had to leave. We held each other tight and we both cried.

    It's hard for us kids to see our rock solid strong moms and dads stricken like this. It ain't right - it ain't proper - no how no way. But whatever is inside us kids keeps us join and keeps us in control. I think the "it" that keeps us going is love. Pure, sweet, love.
  • TerryV
    TerryV Member Posts: 887
    #6
    Ginny_B said:

    The day we were told, mom
    The day we were told, mom and I were pretty quiet. We had to go here and go there and then get lunch then go home. We were fine... up until the part where we had to say good bye and I had to leave. We held each other tight and we both cried.

    It's hard for us kids to see our rock solid strong moms and dads stricken like this. It ain't right - it ain't proper - no how no way. But whatever is inside us kids keeps us join and keeps us in control. I think the "it" that keeps us going is love. Pure, sweet, love.

    Amen to that, Ginny
    Nothing more to add....


    Terry

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