Oct 21, 2011 - 11:23 am
Hi, I am new here and need some help from people with experience dealing with a parent that has terminal cancer when you live in another state.
My situation is a little unique, but I will briefly explain. My father abandoned me as a baby. I never knew him, but always wanted to. When I was 30 years old he contacted me, and we met for the first time. I learned I had two half brothers, and got to meet them as well. Not long after, my husband at the time was transferred quite a few states away with his job and we moved. During this time I remained close through phone contact with my Dad, and facebook with my brothers. They weren't able to visit, due to my Father's work schedule, but he did manage to come out and spend a week with me after my divorce. This year I moved back to my hometown with my 4 children and am much closer to my father now (still one state away) - about 2-3 hours driving distance.
My father is 63 and he was diagnosed with terminal Cancer 2 weeks ago. It is not operable, and very aggressive. He and my two brothers (in their young 20's) live alone. I am hurting for him, my brothers, and for myself - feeling so much pain and sadness for just getting back and not being able to have years of actually being with him. He is starting chemo on Monday and it will be aggressive as well (6 hours long)3X a week to start. I need help, because i can't be there as often as I would like. I have sent groceries to the house, my children made Grandpa a poster with their pictures I was able to bring him in person. I really want to offer whatever I can to help him and the boys through this, but am at a loss as to what I can do to help him through chemo because I can't be there much. I don't know him as well as most kids know there parents so I don't know what he enjoys, all I know is that he is not an electronics person so DVD's, Ipods etc. are not a good choice. He's very much a "guys guy". I want to send him things to truly help, make him smile, keep his spirits up, show him that I really do love him, and help him through the treatment. He doesn't have anyone but the boys. I've tried to get them to give me some ideas, but they ar no help in this department. Please anyone who has suggestions for great meaningful gifts and sentiments that a man/father really appreciated during treatment would be wonderful. I found plenty of items for women, and young men, but not for older men.