Caregiver to Husband with Rectal Cancer
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FeeBeeBud
Member Posts: 3
Hello Everyone,
I am 31 and live in Los Angeles with my 33 year old husband and two dogs. Nearly a month ago, he was diagnosed with stage II rectal cancer after many months of pain and discomfort. It's very treatable, but there is a 95% chance he will need a permanent colostomy bag after his surgery in April/May 2012. Needless to say he is devastated, and I'm right there with him. He has been enrolled in a clinical trial that will hopefully shrink the tumor enough to save as much of his rectum/intestines as possible, and I do an affirmation many times each day that this will be the case.
He started treatment on Monday--6 weeks of daily radiation and chemo round the clock through a pump. A month off, and then 6 more weeks of chemo every other week for 12 weeks.
In my most positive moments, I understand that our relationship has never been tested and this will be our chance to come out winners on the other side. I understand that we have a newfound appreciation for the quiet moments that are the best part of life. I try to maintain this attitude, but of course as you know, it's just plain hard.
I have read through many of the posts and it's been a boost to my spirits. I look forward to reading more and meeting all of you.
I am 31 and live in Los Angeles with my 33 year old husband and two dogs. Nearly a month ago, he was diagnosed with stage II rectal cancer after many months of pain and discomfort. It's very treatable, but there is a 95% chance he will need a permanent colostomy bag after his surgery in April/May 2012. Needless to say he is devastated, and I'm right there with him. He has been enrolled in a clinical trial that will hopefully shrink the tumor enough to save as much of his rectum/intestines as possible, and I do an affirmation many times each day that this will be the case.
He started treatment on Monday--6 weeks of daily radiation and chemo round the clock through a pump. A month off, and then 6 more weeks of chemo every other week for 12 weeks.
In my most positive moments, I understand that our relationship has never been tested and this will be our chance to come out winners on the other side. I understand that we have a newfound appreciation for the quiet moments that are the best part of life. I try to maintain this attitude, but of course as you know, it's just plain hard.
I have read through many of the posts and it's been a boost to my spirits. I look forward to reading more and meeting all of you.
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Comments
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Hi
So sorry to hear about your husband' diagnosis, but glad you found this forum.
There are lots of patients, survivors, and care givers here who will gladly share their experiences and offer emotional support. All you have to do is ask.
You mention that your husband may have to have a perm colostomy. I have one. I was given a book called "The Ostomy Book" by Mullen and McGinn. The autors are mother (with a colostomy) and daughter (an RN). I found it extremely helpful when trying to get my mind around the major change to my body.
Hoping that hubby does well on his treatment plan.
Marie who loves kitties0 -
Colostomy
I've been where your husband is right now. When finding out that mine was rectal cancer, I'd just thought they cut it out and maybe chemo. Then my first appointment with the surgeon was "did they tell you that you were going to be left with a colostomy". My mouth just dropped as it never even entered my mind. After starting radiation and chemo decided to ask my radiation oncologist for his opinion for a second opinion and he gave me Dr. Lee - what a wonderful doctor. My radiologist had talked personally to him and told him my desire to not have a colostomy if possible. Dr. Lee said there was a possibility but he couldn't guarantee it - that was enough for me so that day he became my surgeon. He also had over twice the experience as my original doctor. After radiation and chemo my tumor shrunk to the head of an ink pin. They took out my rectum, had a temporary ileostomy and then a reversal. He made a new rectum (j-pouch) from the colon.
Yes a relationship can be put through the ringer but you can get through this.
The Ostomy book is great.
Please get a second opinion - it doesn't hurt.
Welcome to the board, but sorry you had to join this group for the reason stated in your post. We are here for every step of you and your husband's journey and ask away at any question you wish as someone is bound to have an experience or help that you are seeking. Good luck to your husband.
Kim0 -
Thank YouAnnabelle41415 said:Colostomy
I've been where your husband is right now. When finding out that mine was rectal cancer, I'd just thought they cut it out and maybe chemo. Then my first appointment with the surgeon was "did they tell you that you were going to be left with a colostomy". My mouth just dropped as it never even entered my mind. After starting radiation and chemo decided to ask my radiation oncologist for his opinion for a second opinion and he gave me Dr. Lee - what a wonderful doctor. My radiologist had talked personally to him and told him my desire to not have a colostomy if possible. Dr. Lee said there was a possibility but he couldn't guarantee it - that was enough for me so that day he became my surgeon. He also had over twice the experience as my original doctor. After radiation and chemo my tumor shrunk to the head of an ink pin. They took out my rectum, had a temporary ileostomy and then a reversal. He made a new rectum (j-pouch) from the colon.
Yes a relationship can be put through the ringer but you can get through this.
The Ostomy book is great.
Please get a second opinion - it doesn't hurt.
Welcome to the board, but sorry you had to join this group for the reason stated in your post. We are here for every step of you and your husband's journey and ask away at any question you wish as someone is bound to have an experience or help that you are seeking. Good luck to your husband.
Kim
All - thank you for your answers and support. I purchased the book and browsed the other message board!!0 -
I'm a caregiver
I'm a caregiver for my husband who has stage 4 and his tumor was at the top of the rectum and warp around the main artery that gives the blood to the colon he had 15 rounds of chemo and 5weeks of radiation with the 5fu they told us he would need a bag and it was hard to hear but when he went for surgery 4 hours later the doctor came out to tell me she got all she could feel and he walk away with no bag at all so some times doctors tell you things we don't like to hear but they have to tell us the bad before the good so you guys keep your heads up and it will work out hugs to you and your husband Tina0 -
Hey there FeeBeeBud- Nice to
Hey there FeeBeeBud- Nice to meet ya-
So, I was in the same position as your husband a couple years ago and I can relate to his despair. First let me say that is alot of chemo for a stage II. I was a stage II T3 with a tumor 1 cm from the anal verge and also told it would very likely require a permanent colosotmy. I did six weeks of oral chemo with six weeks of daily radiation and had no lasting side effects. I took many supplements before, during and after my treatments and fortunatly had a complete response, meaning the tumor completely vanished leaving only a discoloration in the rectum where it once was. Even in all the scans and scopes there was nothing there so, since I don't gamble at all and don't pay attention to odds I chose to take my chances and put off the surgery. Well, nine months later during a follow-up scope they saw that little bugger was back. Same tumor in exact same place but very small. After consulting with three surgeons I chose to go with the best Laprascopic surgeon and he said he could do an APR with a temporary illeostomy. I am now 4 and a half weeks after surgery and doing great. The illeostomy is not nearly as bad as I imagined and could easily do this forever if I had to. Fortunatly my surgeon said everything went perfect and a reconnect should be a breeze but I'm OK now with whatever happens. My wife and I even made sure everything down there was working (wink,wink) after only two weeks and double check regularly without issue.... Point is, you will get through this and you will find it can make you a stronger person inside if not as a whole.
Try to get him healthy above all else. All the treatments in the world can't beat cancer if the body can't keep up. I've been through some crappy stuff but I feel in the best health of my life. Nutrition, God and family (not necessarily in that order) can overcome most adversity.
Best luck to you two, keep asking questions and take notes.
Take care CJ0 -
similar situation
I will be following your progress . I am going to see doctors in Phila Pa on November 3rd to get a opinion on same issue . I hope to avoid a colostomy bag , right now my local doctors have told me that is what gets done , no options . The are doctors that use different procedures that can save the rectum in many cases , they are using laprascopic surgical techniques .0 -
You may want to consider other opinions
If your husband is not at a major cancer center, he may want a second opinion. I know that the drs I know at Memorial Sloan Kettering (NYC) do whatever they can to avoid a permanent colostomy. My 2 friends who had temporary ones have been reconnected, and are working fine. (These friends are from my pre-cancer life - we just all ended up dealing with it at around the same time. One is colon, the other anal or rectal. I'm appendix - no colostomy.)0
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