My mother was recently diagnosed with endometrioid adenocarcinoma

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Mymothersdaughter
Mymothersdaughter Member Posts: 2
in Uterine/Endometrial Cancer #1
My mother, two years shy of fifty, was diagnosed with endometrioid adenocarcinoma (mucinous differentiation, grade 1) on September 26th.
Having suffered bouts of abnormal bleeding and pelvic pressure, my mother informed our family physician who promptly ordered a biopsy.
This Friday, the seventh of October, my mother will be undergoing a radical hysterectomy and staging simultaneously.
She's active--participating in triatholons and 5k races. As her 23 year old daughter, and primary source of support save for my stepfather, I am finding it increasingly more difficult to accept the reality that my mother has cancer.
Sometimes I think human biology is an atrocious thing.
The above diagnosis is what "science" addresses my mother's illness as. At a cellular level my mother is being deconstructed. How does one move forward with the thought of the cancer sitting inside of their mothers or fathers, sisters, friends, knowing it is leeching away their life?
Has my mother's cancer matasisized? A cruel and clinical way of asking " has it spread?"
I'm angry at our species for being so detached. For having to label and categorize, measure and mark everything.
And I'm even angrier that without the detachment, without the science, the labels, there would be no treatment.
I pray.
I cry.
I am consumed by a morbid fixation on what it means: my mother having cancer.
And I put on the same emotionless and detached air as the doctors and scientists--I spend my weekend playing cribbage with my mother, taking naps with her while we wait for her hair dye. And I find myself sick with the thought of separating from her. Sick with the idea that she's slipping from me.
I don't know how to bear this for her.
And am trying do hard to be strong and present, in the moment so that she might feel better, stronger, without pity.
If ever I needed support, as stubborn and closed off as I am, now is the moment I broke.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Comments

  • Cynthia Rose
    Cynthia Rose Member Posts: 35
    #2
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    If you need to talk You Can
    If you need to talk You Can Call.My email is candcmears@bentonrea.com And I will send my Number!
  • maryv1119
    maryv1119 Member Posts: 37
    #3
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    To my mother's daughter
    I've said this before and I'll say it again...I think that cancer is harder on the family and friends than it is on the patient. One of the first things my mom said to me was if she could take "this" upon herself she would. You sound like the same kind of person - you'd do anything to keep suffering away from the ones you love. Your love and support is going to do her a world of good, but you can't bare this for her - and my guess is she wouldn't want you to.

    Clinically - the fact that your mom paid attention to her body, and had a physician that listened and acted quickly is a great thing! Grade 1 cancer cells grow slowly and are less aggressive. Once your mom has surgery they can "stage" the cancer - find out how far it spread. Most uterine cancers are caught at an early stage. Grade 1 + caught early = the likelihood of a very good prognosis!

    Being a cancer survivor - my best advice is simply to enjoy each day as it comes. Don't let a diagnosis of cancer rob you from enjoying life! Enjoying your mom and life is one way you can give cancer the finger! I know it's not easy - BTW Oct 7th is my moms birthday - and I promise you, me and my entire family will be keeping you all in our prayers.
  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,088 Member
    #4
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    My thoughts are with you and
    My thoughts are with you and your mom.

    For your information, I was 45 years old when I had my hysterectomy and then they found cancer. I had to then go for a staging surgery in October of 2005. Yes, 2005. I was diagnosed with Endometrial Adenocarcinoma Grade 2 Stage iiia. It was six years ago. I have three teenage sons and I am now 51 years old. I work full time, am secretary for band organizastion and I volunteer for many things, I even took piano lessons!

    Yes. You have days that are up and down. The most important thing is to stay positive and act positive in all things.

    After you get past the shock, you can then focus on living. It is soooo very scary when you first hear that word, but after the initial shock things can change dramatically.

    Yes, there will be tests and treatments and office visits, but don't let that get in the way of what you normally do.

    I have had my CT scans, PET scans, MRIs and even another surgery in 2010, but I have also been to Napa Valley, on a cruise, Florida and many other trips too.

    (((Hugs))) to you and your mom to help you get through this.

    Kathy
  • soxgirl823
    soxgirl823 Member Posts: 8
    #5
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    completely understand
    2 years ago my mother had 2 strokes( i know thats not the topic) then 2 months later was diagnosed with stage 1 uterine cancer. Had the complete hysterectomy and I felt like you did. I am an only child so feel like everything is put into my lap. I pray I cry(mostly at work or in the car) In front of her I appeared to be as strong as anything. I did research and figured if she was going to beat this I was going to have to be a part of this. Made sure she got enough protien. Even bought protien bars she ended up liking. I stopped thinking in a morbid way of of thinking that she is going to taken from me. She had the positive attitude so I needed to have it too. So read some. Took her to an event the cancer society had called"look good feel better" (i think that was it well pretty close if not) that changed my thinking it was amazing support for both. I do have to admit we were lucky enough to have the most amazing oncologist who we adore. Well sad to say we just found out she has a new tumor and will be going back for Chemo and getting strength from my mother who by the way is almost 70 years old, her answer was I beat this once I can do it again. So I've decided to pull strength from who ever I can, friends at work, what little family I have and lots of reading. So all in all the advice is keep treading water don't give up. See the positive side because you are not alone even if you think you are. I don't know you personally but if you would like I could give you my email or IM screen name if you ever just wanted to talk. been there before and its not easy but as teh cliche goes it does make you stronger.
  • Mymothersdaughter
    Mymothersdaughter Member Posts: 2
    #6
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    soxgirl823 said:

    completely understand
    2 years ago my mother had 2 strokes( i know thats not the topic) then 2 months later was diagnosed with stage 1 uterine cancer. Had the complete hysterectomy and I felt like you did. I am an only child so feel like everything is put into my lap. I pray I cry(mostly at work or in the car) In front of her I appeared to be as strong as anything. I did research and figured if she was going to beat this I was going to have to be a part of this. Made sure she got enough protien. Even bought protien bars she ended up liking. I stopped thinking in a morbid way of of thinking that she is going to taken from me. She had the positive attitude so I needed to have it too. So read some. Took her to an event the cancer society had called"look good feel better" (i think that was it well pretty close if not) that changed my thinking it was amazing support for both. I do have to admit we were lucky enough to have the most amazing oncologist who we adore. Well sad to say we just found out she has a new tumor and will be going back for Chemo and getting strength from my mother who by the way is almost 70 years old, her answer was I beat this once I can do it again. So I've decided to pull strength from who ever I can, friends at work, what little family I have and lots of reading. So all in all the advice is keep treading water don't give up. See the positive side because you are not alone even if you think you are. I don't know you personally but if you would like I could give you my email or IM screen name if you ever just wanted to talk. been there before and its not easy but as teh cliche goes it does make you stronger.

    Thank you to all who
    Thank you to all who responded. Sometimes turn so far inward that I overlook a very simple truth-- my mother is not the only one going through this! And I'm not the only daughter ( or family affected).
    A quick update-- my mother had her surgery Friday. The performed the radical hysterectomy, laproscopically ( forgive the misspelling!) and found no visible tumor growth. Her oncologist deemed the cancer superficial. When I heard him say " non-invasive", I nearly collapsed in relief. I don't think I'm making to farfetched of an assumption here, but when someone hears "cancer" realities unravel, morbidity and cynicism ( sometimes) manifests itself so powerfully it's nearly impossible to grasp hope.
    Cancer has a powerful and seemingly immovable stigma-- that it is irreversible and terminal.
    This was one of those moments that I realized, I'm still a child in a lot of ways-- and have through your candid and heartfelt replies, come to grasp this thing called hope. To see and feel it as tangibly as my mother sitting up right in her hospital bed demanding a snickers bar only minutes after coming to, post op.
    There will be a series of pathology reports conducted on tissue samples-- standard procedure-- but all in all I think we may be out of the woods.
    Even though she may be in the early days of recovery (four weeks at most) I'd still very much like to keep in touch with you here and offer any support I can to others.

    Ashley
  • JoAnnDK
    JoAnnDK Member Posts: 275
    #7
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    Mymothersdaughter said:

    Thank you to all who
    Thank you to all who responded. Sometimes turn so far inward that I overlook a very simple truth-- my mother is not the only one going through this! And I'm not the only daughter ( or family affected).
    A quick update-- my mother had her surgery Friday. The performed the radical hysterectomy, laproscopically ( forgive the misspelling!) and found no visible tumor growth. Her oncologist deemed the cancer superficial. When I heard him say " non-invasive", I nearly collapsed in relief. I don't think I'm making to farfetched of an assumption here, but when someone hears "cancer" realities unravel, morbidity and cynicism ( sometimes) manifests itself so powerfully it's nearly impossible to grasp hope.
    Cancer has a powerful and seemingly immovable stigma-- that it is irreversible and terminal.
    This was one of those moments that I realized, I'm still a child in a lot of ways-- and have through your candid and heartfelt replies, come to grasp this thing called hope. To see and feel it as tangibly as my mother sitting up right in her hospital bed demanding a snickers bar only minutes after coming to, post op.
    There will be a series of pathology reports conducted on tissue samples-- standard procedure-- but all in all I think we may be out of the woods.
    Even though she may be in the early days of recovery (four weeks at most) I'd still very much like to keep in touch with you here and offer any support I can to others.

    Ashley

    Ashley
    Ashley, although I am older than your mother, my daughter was 30 when I was diagnosed 15 months ago and she went through many of the emotions you described. She and I are so close and she almost felt that the cancer was a betrayal, that it struck me in the place that gave her life.

    She was my rock during all of the chemo and radiation (not easy for her with a one-year old at the time) but we got through it and hope that we have good years ahead. Regardless, we make the most of every day and spend as much time together as we can (well, we always did!).

    Best wishes and good thoughts to both of you

    JOANN

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