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Scared of death

Ames
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2011

Three weeks before our wedding I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer. This is supposed to be the happiest time of our lives. We both cannot stop crying. It's so unfair. How did we get here?

I'm 44! I was the good girl all thru high school. It wasn't until my 20s that I finally gave in to peer pressure and attempted smoking. That didn't even last long but the damage was already done and it has lead me to this situation. I am so angry! I waited for marriage before considering children and now feel like my morals don't count.

I have a sister that is battling breast cancer for nearly 14 years. She has wrote and finished her "bucket list" at least 4 times that I know of. She is so hopeful that she will continue to survive. She has encouragement with all the research that they have found for breast cancer. Why isn't there anything found on lung cancer? I'm irritated with this situation. All I read in chat rooms and blogs is that I am going to die and soon. This is so unacceptable.

I am confused. I haven't felt ill and after our honeymoon came back with a cough that wasn't there before. My first chemo cocktail will be administered on Tuesday. I have plans to go back to work and act like there is nothing wrong. It just seems easier that way.

I am tired of crying, looking at my new husband wondering what I should say, questioning when do I shared this sickness with the rest of my family and friends, looking online for answers, getting a pat from my doctor with only the words of I'm sorry.

I need HOPE! I need to BELIEVE that something will be there for me. I need MORE than a band aid and a kiss on the forehead. I need the LIVE. I feel like this curve ball hit me at the wrong time....but when is there a right time for cancer.

Please someone....everyone send me something REAL. I want to know what treatment options are use using....any clinical trials/drugs that you are using...are you able to exercise....do you use pure oxygen to help you sleep at night like someone with sleeping disorder...do organic foods help....what does your diet consist of....does ginger and hot pepper's really help....I am willing to do anything to stay on this earth longer...with the love of my life.

Please help me cope.
Thank you,
Amy

kado4
Posts: 80
Joined: Jul 2011

Hello Ames,my dad has stage 3a nsclc.I am sorry to hear of your lung cancer. I just wanted to say that I think you should consider telling your family and friends of you diagonosis.You fill find that you will get more support that way. Do not let yourself handle this all yourself.Stay on the website, there is much support out there.Try to stay strong.You are still alive, and intend to live as well as you can. Go to your doctor and ask questions.Write things down.There is alot to remember..Remember to pray to God...He does love you....doctors treat and God heals....You are important to this world, you are meant to be here..I can understand your deep despair and worry...be open to all sides....eat healthy....things will unfold to you daily....you may even ask for a second opinion on treatment options....Stand strong. I will pray for you....Sincerely,Kado.

medi_2's picture
medi_2
Posts: 506
Joined: Aug 2009

Hello! Agreed; Lousey time to get cancer. Not like there is a good time. You say you want something real? Read the stories we have written. See all the survivors. You think whether one lives a moral life has anything to do with it? Uh-uh; cancer is the great equalizer, good people are stricken along with the bad. Most times random.
I was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer; limited stage almost three years ago and now free and clear; don't have to have scans except for once a year. I don't use oxygen to sleep and all through treatment (cisplatin epotisode and radiation), I eat some organic foods and I run (never stopped) go to the gym and walk alot. I know that ginger is great for queasiness and hot peppers are loaded with vitamin c, they may help you but don't forgoe traditional medicines.
Have faith and the hope will soon follow...
Cheers!
Medi

deltafun's picture
deltafun
Posts: 50
Joined: Apr 2011

For what's it's worth we went through the same thing when it came to whan and what to tell our family and friends. Believe it or not we felt alot better after we told them what was going on.

It helped a lot

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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