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What's Next? I'm concerned

bkmils
Posts: 8
Joined: Sep 2011

My mom's next appointment is next month and I'm very concerned about the results. She finished Chemo and radiation and is going for her first follow-up to see how the cancer responded to the therapy. I pray that it all went well and she goes into remission. I wouldn't know what to do if she had to undergo treatment again. She was able to fight through this but she endured alot of pain and I was alongside her every step of the way. It took everything in me to stay strong but many times I go somewhere and just start weeping because I don't know what's going to happen and I could only do what I can. I need to regain my strength for myself and most importantly for my mom.

Thanks for reading.

Barbara53's picture
Barbara53
Posts: 659
Joined: Aug 2009

Boy, do I remember the day Mom's oncologist came in saying "I can't claim to cure ovarian cancer, but everything looks really good." That was two years ago. Since then Mom has done pretty well overall, with various "remissions" and chemos until she stopped it all a few weeks ago in favor of making the most of the days she has left. For her cancer, this is the normal course for the lucky ones. She's enjoyed more time than most.

All I can say is, keep backing up your mom no matter what. Often times I chafed at the doctors' treatment of my mama, but followed by brother's lead to stay quiet and let the docs call the shots because that's how Mom likes it. He was right. In a way it got so simple. My only job has been to take care of our mama.

Early on I promised Mom she would not be alone or abandoned as she became sicker and weaker, which is where we are now. I've complained a lot, but I've learned so much about Mom in the last couple of years that it's been worth everything. We're both at peace.

ddpekks's picture
ddpekks
Posts: 162
Joined: Sep 2011

The hardest part to all of this for me is not knowing what is coming next, or how what we just did is affecting him. But I try to go with the flow, take care of him as best I can, and pray that it will all work out the way it's supposed to in the end.

Be a great support for your Mom, but don't lose yourself while doing it. Take a little time for yourself and do something that makes you feel good. And try to live in the moment and not worry about what you can't control. Because, believe me, there is no control in cancer!

Hugs and good thoughts your way....
D

palmyrafan's picture
palmyrafan
Posts: 398
Joined: Mar 2011

I have brain cancer and my wonderful husband is my caregiver, first line of defense (against bozos and idiots), appointment scheduler, etc.

Sometimes we are called to do things that we don't think we can do. You have been called to be the caregiver to your mother. Because of that, she has survived as long as she has. Oh sure, she has good doctors and staff, but you are the one who is helping her navigate the maze that we all must endure.

Please don't give up, on either of you. Be there for your mother, but also take time for youself and don't feel guilty about doing so. You can't get burn out from doing what you need to do. Your mother appreciates all that you are doing. Sometimes, we just forget to show it.

Hang in there.

womack1424
Posts: 38
Joined: May 2011

The waiting can be the hardest part on any one, not knowing what is coming from that test, there is no way to get prepared for the results good or bad. I do the same thing just go out by myself somewhere or while I'm in the shower and just have a good cry. I think it is good therapy and certainly helps to relieve the stress. My partner has stage 4 colon cancer and has been told by her onc there is nothing more he can do. She has been fighting this disease since 2004. I thought I would never have the strength to go through this a second time but after a 5 year remission here we are again, and somehow God has given me what I need to deal with this again as I am sure he will do for you if that need arises. Stay strong and keep the faith" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". I pray that the test results will be positive and that you and your mother can begin the next phase of your lives, stronger and more powerful women.

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