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Terror

Phoebesnow
Posts: 448
Joined: Apr 2011

I will be sitting, just relaxing and then I will feel a tweak in my groin or just anywhere. It's like an alarm goes off and my mind just goes there, what is it, is it cancer is it lurking, did someone miss it. Am I going to die? It it everywhere?

I am living my life, I'm happy, but that alarm goes off, my heart starts to race and for that moment I'm back there, in that ugly place, and then I move on.

I guess with time these feelings will fade.

z's picture
z
Posts: 1257
Joined: May 2009

Yes I had pings and pangs and they do fade. I think its our body healing.

I did have a back ache that wouldn't go away, and one of my scans picked up a lung nodule that I have had removed via vats. I am absolutely fine and it was a 2nd primary cancer not a metastasis.

Just know that because we are examined and scanned so much we have a head start to find any problem immediately and get rid of it. I wish you well. Lori

lizdeli's picture
lizdeli
Posts: 521
Joined: Jul 2009

Yes I had them and still do sometimes. About 3-4 months post treatment I felt all these painful spots in my abdomen. I was convinced my body was being invaded by the disease. How else could I explain these "spots" of pain. They went away. Sometimes my groin hurts and I think it's the lymph nodes and of course I think the worse. But my scans have all come back clean. Then there is the pain in the thighs and muscles. And a shootig pain where the tumor used to be.

As Lori said, it is our body healing. We saw what the radiation did to the outside of our skin, so if we imagine what happened inside where we can't see...then it starts to make sense as to why all these pangs and pains pop up. Once we begin to heal it's sometimes hard to imagine that we went through so much. But our bodies don't forget.

Again to Lori's point, we are scanned so much so we know a lot more than most people. It's a mixed blessing sometimes. Knowing about cysts on kidneys and thyroids and wherever else used to make me crazy. But I have a lot of confidence in my doctors at MD Anderson so I've learned to try to relax more. Not always easy of course!

Liz

mp327's picture
mp327
Posts: 2949
Joined: Jan 2010

Like Liz said, it really is a mixed blessing to have so much information because of all the scans we've had. I can turn into a temporary hypochondriac after a scan sometimes, after reading about the granuloma in my lungs, cyst on my kidney, etc. I had a lot of pelvic discomfort a few months after treatment and was certain that my cancer was back. However, it was determined to be fibrosis, which is the build-up of scar tissue in the treatment area. But I really understand what you're saying--it's hard not to worry about every little ache or pain.

sissy310
Posts: 300
Joined: May 2010

Boy...does all this sound familiar...same here on all counts what everyone is saying. I think once you have been bitten with the cancer diagnosis and then find out about cysts or issues that probably would never have been known had it not been for the scans and tests, it's difficult not to worry about things. I try to look at it this way: If my doctor is not concerned, then I won't be. Still, it isn't easy. Sometimes I love google and sometimes I hate it as I tend to research to death any symptoms I might have or think I have. We are watched so closely that if God forbid anything should arise, they would catch it quickly enough. I do wonder if at some point time makes us less anxious...I'm only a year out of treatment so I'm still a little hyper about things. lol. Marilyne

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