CSN Login
Members Online: 14

Dying mother

bubblegumx3
Posts: 7
Joined: Sep 2011

My mom has stage 4 primary liver cancer.. and the doctors said she has maybe 1 or 2 days left. I am only 20 and my brother is only 16. how do i prepare myself for the death of my mom? my mom had a painful, short, hopeful battle and i am not ready to let her go. i want her to watch me get graduate college, get married, and be a grandma to my children. i just dont know how ill cope when my mother leaves.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi,
I lost my mother in 1989. She was diagnosed in October with pancreatic cancer & died in December. We always had hope that she would get better, but only had one chemo treatment and had every side effect there was. I was very close to my mom and just didn't know what to say because she had so much hope and thought she would get better. To this day, I regret telling her what a great mother she was & how much I was going to miss her. So if you have the chance, tell your mom how you feel. It's so hard not to have had her here to see my kids get married and to see the 3 beautiful grandsons I have, but I know she's up there watching and can see. My dad died the following year also of cancer in December right after Christmas. The holidays have been hard for me ever since.
Please be strong!! "Carole"

carolyn4carol's picture
carolyn4carol
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2011

Hi There....I'm not really sure if you can ever be prepared to lose your mom. I lost mine a little over a month ago. It's devestating. I'm 40 so no i'm not 20 but it is still a life changing experience. I just got married and my mom made it to the ceremony. She passed away two weeks later. I have no children so she will not get to meet them, but I will be telling them all about her. What I would like to suggest is: Take photos of her now, take ALOT. Record her voice if you can, its so nice to hear her voice after she's gone. Tell her the following: I love you. I thank you for...(say something you're thankful to her for). I forgive you for....(say something you forgive her for that she might be feeling bad about). I'm sorry for....(tell her something you might regret doing or not doing with her or for her). And then tell her she is free that you will be okay...even if you think you won't. You and your brother should say all these things...I think it will help. It helped me and my siblings. Hug her and kiss her as much as possible now, tell her how much you LOVE HER over and over and over again. Ask her if there is anything she wants you to know about how to raise your kids, how to know who to marry, what to look for in a husband, etc. Record it all!! I'm sorry, hope i'm not overstepping my boundaries, but if your mom will not be with you for too much longer, these are the things I did and some i wished i did....and i am thinking they might help you just a bit.....i'm so so sorry....

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network