Sep 22, 2011 - 3:18 pm
My boyfriend and I went to Las Vegas for the trip that we had planned and were so excited for. While there, the symptoms started getting seriously and alarmingly worse. The headaches caused by the tumors that have spread to my brain were 10 times worse, I started feeling confused and forgetful, saying odd things, and also coughing up a lot of blood.
As soon as we returned from the weekend, we went in for an MRI, and they found that the tumors are growing very quickly and very aggressively. The tumor in my frontal lobe is now almost the size of a baseball (the measurements they gave me don't really mean anything to me, but a baseball, I get). The tumor in my lungs is starting to affect my breathing severely, and is causing fluid to build up.
We were super excited to get the bone marrow transplant, but that is not going to go forward now with the tumors spreading this fast and causing these complications. They have told me to discontinue chemotherapy and to just focus on palliative care and doing however much or little I can do - but it's hard to accept that.
I feel like I'm on a really fast moving train that I can't get off of, and I don't even know what to do. Part of me wants to do everything I can that I may never have the chance to do again, or that I might get too confused to do shortly.
This is really tough for me. Hoping everyone out there is having a decent week, my heart goes out to each and every one of you.