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gbm4 and my sister

4theloveofmysis's picture
4theloveofmysis
Posts: 248
Joined: Apr 2011

I hate this this cancer its cruel and unfair. Its taking my sister and I cant control it. She doesnt want to die !!!! We arent ready. The doctor is in the room with her kids right now telling them to stop the treatments. I had to leave I just couldnt hear the words that he was going to say.
Saturday she was ok we watched a movie together a hour later she had a seizure. 911 was called and to the ER she went. It lasted and hour and a half. She is in a lot of pain because of a necrotic hip caused by decadron. They have given her a lot of pain meds and ativan which confuses her big time and decadron or predisone and who knows what else. The doc says he thinks the cancer is causing the confusion and that the end is near. I am sad, no Im beyond sad my heart is bleeding...

I_Promise's picture
I_Promise
Posts: 210
Joined: Aug 2011

I am so sorry to read those words. I feel your pain and your love for your sister. My heart weeps for you.

Julia

cindysuetoyou's picture
cindysuetoyou
Posts: 508
Joined: Dec 2009

My heart just wrenches in my chest when I read your words and think about what you, your sister, and your family are going through. It's like a never-ending nightmare. I am so sorry for all of your pain. There's no words that can ease it for you....I am so sorry.....

connsteele
Posts: 232
Joined: May 2011

So sorry to learn what is happening to you and your sister. It is all so unfair. Hope and prayers for better days.

labales
Posts: 9
Joined: Sep 2011

I am sorry, My hubby is just 17 days into this nightmare and it has been an unbelieveable rollercoaster ride that has taken over our lives. I believe you and I are both physicians, and we are all too used to controlling situations. This situation cannot be controlled and that hurts. i cannot imagine the day I have to let go. I am sorry.

micgrace
Posts: 131
Joined: May 2011

Nothing harder than hearing those words from the doctor. After hearing them I wound up in hospital myself with extreme anxiety with sadness beyond sadness I had a whole team telling me nothing further could be done which I refused to accept, but I did eventually realise that all that could be done was done. It still hurts me so very much as it will to you. This GBM cancer is dreadful in so many ways. We were not ready, nothing was in order, we had young children, its just so unfair to all.

sadinholland
Posts: 229
Joined: Apr 2011

I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I will pray for strength in dealing with all of this, as I have been for everyone here. God bless you and your sister.

4theloveofmysis's picture
4theloveofmysis
Posts: 248
Joined: Apr 2011

Thank you for all your kind words. It has been such a hard day. I spent about 3 hours alone with my sister she was very clear and we were able to talk. I really needed this time.She told me how much she loved me and my kids. And that she is sorry because she always wanted to be here for me. I had such mixed emotions about what is happening here.They said that they would give her four days to clear and see if it was the cancer or the meds. So now she is clear and nothing changes...

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

So sorry for what you are going through...my children and I have been where you are and the emotional pain is unbearable. The only level of peace I could grasp for was knowing the once he passed all the horrible things he endured was over. For us left behind all the anxiety and fear that accompanied each MRI was done, every ER trip worrying if this was it, would he come back home with us is all done. The grieving is very hard but I am not sure what is worse. Hope you and your family will find some level of peace.

4theloveofmysis's picture
4theloveofmysis
Posts: 248
Joined: Apr 2011

The minutes are so precious and few now. I feel at times I cant breath. My sister is very weak. I asked her today what I could do for her. She asked for hawaiian punch and coffee ice cream and some more root beer. I told her I would get right on it. She told me dont go out of my way. OMG I would go to the moon if I had to. I would do anything to save her, and now all I can do is get hawaiian punch...My sister is my best friend. I cant call her anymore even though she is still here. I share very thing with her and now all I can do is hold her hand and tell her how much I love her. I hurt so bad, my world will never be the same.

micgrace
Posts: 131
Joined: May 2011

I am so very sorry. Just get her whatever she wants. I never had the opportunity with my wife to communicate in her final weeks but did what little I could. Just don't overdo staying there as you can get very sick. You need time out too. You will come through but it never the same without her.

4theloveofmysis's picture
4theloveofmysis
Posts: 248
Joined: Apr 2011

I am greatful than she can talk. I cant always hear her she talks so softly and is very weak. Today she reached out for my hand and just kept rubbing it and began to cry. Im just staying for a few minutes at a time. I dont want to wear her out. I just want more time. I have so much to say, but most of the time is quiet time.

cindysuetoyou's picture
cindysuetoyou
Posts: 508
Joined: Dec 2009

I am so sorry for the pain and anguish that you are going through. Your sister is blessed to have you in her life. I am glad that you are there for her. I wish I could say something that would ease your pain even a little bit. I'm praying for you and your sister.
Love, blessings, and peace to you,
Cindy in Salem, OR

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