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Started Chemo Today and scared

mixleader
Posts: 267
Joined: Oct 2010

Well, this morning I started my chemo treatments. This is in pill form, so I am alone at home and it to took me a while to even build up the nerve to take the pills. I think the pills are a good thing/bad thing. I was expecting to have infusions and to be around caring nurses and professionals to keep an eye on me for comfort. Instead, I am home worrying. At least I don't have to take trips into the cancer center and spend hours for treatments, so I guess there is a tradeoff here. Like most of us, I am worried about what these pills are going to do to me and if they are going to work. So, I am trying my best to keep my spirits up and I am leaning heavily on friends and family for support. I survived three surgeries and 30 rads, so I am hoping I get through this as well. Okay, Roger, man up and get this done and stop whining. Anybody else here have any experience with Sutent?

Roger

ratface's picture
ratface
Posts: 1254
Joined: Aug 2009

My rule is if you start the day you can can count the whole day, so congrats on starting, What a difficult thing. I never thought about it that way being alone, no doctors or nurses to prod us or hook us up to ports and infusions. You know there is no turning back now, wishing you strength Roger!

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8103
Joined: Sep 2009

Though not physically, but mentally and spiritually.....

If you want to talk or communicate, I always have my cell phone with me.... (though it's put up when I'm fishing, LOL)....email me and I can give you my number if you like.

JGUISEPPI@AOL.COM

Your cancer survivor buddy,
John

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5927
Joined: Apr 2009

Same here as John, anytime you need to just talk, remember we are here to help you make it through this one just like the first one my friend.

timhonmc@aol.com
Praying for you my friend
Hondo

luv4lacrosse's picture
luv4lacrosse
Posts: 1409
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Roger, it is OK to be scared as you are taking your treatment in a form different that what you are accustomed to. We were al scared when we first started our journeys through the traditional route, IE: go to the facility, get hooked up to all of the IV's and be there all day.

Lean on us, lean realhard if need be, we are all here for you.

YOU WILL DO THIS JUST LIKE BEFORE!!

BEST!!!

Mike

Pumakitty's picture
Pumakitty
Posts: 653
Joined: Mar 2010

I can understand you are frighten and that is ok!! We are here when ever you need us. You can do this and beat this horrible thing again. Keep talking to us and let us know how you are doing.

Kathy

Noellesmom
Posts: 1315
Joined: Aug 2010

You are sensible, Roger. Who wants to put chemicals into their body?

You are surrounded by prayers and good thoughts - hold onto those when you need to.

Hugs.

mixleader
Posts: 267
Joined: Oct 2010

Thanks to all for the nice words. I cannot imagine how anybody could go through this without lots of support from family/friends/kind strangers. I am trying very hard to hold myself together through all of this and you folks are a big help. If lots of other people have done it, then I figure I can also. But, as we all know, it's very hard. I have moments of &*^& this disease and moments of emotional turmoil and breaking down. I know that probably sounds a lot like 'been there, done that' to a lot of you. Thanks for all the support.

Roger

sweetblood22's picture
sweetblood22
Posts: 3230
Joined: Jan 2010

Sending out prayers. I would be scared, too!

Seek comfort in knowing that there are so many of us thinking of you. So many positive thoughts and prayers coming your way!

Greend's picture
Greend
Posts: 679
Joined: Feb 2010

There will be a light at the end that is not a train. You wouldn't be right if you weren't aprehensive/scared...hell its poison but the kind that will beat the cancer.

Hoping the best for you and stay with us so we know how you are doing.

Denny

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5927
Joined: Apr 2009

We are all one family and we are all pulling for you my friend, anyway you need help and support we are here to help you pull through this.

Hondo

D Lewis's picture
D Lewis
Posts: 1546
Joined: Jan 2010

You can get through this. Sending good thoughts your way.

Deb

osmotar's picture
osmotar
Posts: 956
Joined: Jul 2011

It's ok to be scared, I had my second infusion day today, and it went much better than a month ago. After my family left the room on the first day, I started to cry out of fear, a wonderful onco nurse bent down, put her arms around me and said it was ok to cry, this is something that I never thought I would experience, but I have a great doctor and her staff is wonderful. In my session today, the same thing fear took over a 1st timer for chemo and another nurse comforted her. I like the room session I go to as you get to interact with different folks. It's ok to have your own pity party, cry or fress ..what ever gets you thru it. In reading what you wrote it appears you have gone thru a lot already. Whats the Mary Poppins song about medicine and a spoon foull of sugar?

bleesings and light

Linda in Arizona

Marty36
Posts: 84
Joined: Aug 2011

I only had two rounds of chemotherapy (Cisplatin) but I will say I felt more like I had cancer those days than any other days of treatment. The first time, I went by myself to the infusion center and spent all day getting the treatment. I kept telling people it wasn't a big deal, but it was very scary and sad. I remember going for my radiation treatment and dragging my infusion pole with me. I met with the resident in radiology and broke down crying because nothing reminds you that you have cancer more than being attached to a pole with bags of medication and having to be strapped down for radiation.

The second time, my mom came along which was nice, but also sad. I was in the infusion center watching all these people my age helping their elderly parents and here I was needing my 76 year-old mom to apply lotion to my face. It was very sad and scary.

So it's natural to be sad and scared. Embrace it, and don't be afraid of it.

Pam M's picture
Pam M
Posts: 2194
Joined: Nov 2009

As much as we complain about being stuck at the doctors', it IS comforting to be surrounded by pros. There are two people in my "live" support group who are on chemo pills. They seem to like it (well, as much as anyone can like having chemo). I would have been doing some serious teeth gritting when I took that pill, if I were you. Do you take the meds during "normal office hours"? And no way you're whining - just voicing legitimate concerns. Hope it goes smoothly.

mixleader
Posts: 267
Joined: Oct 2010

Hi, Pam. Yes, I take my pills in the morning at about ten o clock so I can call the cancer center if I need help. I already called once to make sure that some more of my meds would not be a problem with the chemo pills and they called me right back with some information. First day yesterday was 'white knuckle' when I took them and my hands were definitely shaking. I was dizzy and weak quite a bit of the day and I am hoping today will be a bit better. I am still very much concerned about what else will happen, but I'll bet most people feel about the unknown this way. Then, if this goes okay, I have to step up the dosage next week and I'll bet it will be 'shaky hands' again. This is quite a ride.

Roger

osmotar's picture
osmotar
Posts: 956
Joined: Jul 2011

I have not had any issues with nausea, dizzyness or any weakness, now it may be to the anti nausea pill I start to take the day before , the day of and the day after ,plus all the anti nausea meds they give me during the infusion, but prior to start the treatments may daughter bought me wrist bands to wear, bands that hit a pressure point in your wrists that help for motion sickness, morning sickness, and chemotherapy, while I can't prove that they work , no nausea so far, maybe they are more of a comfort like a favorite security blanket and I think they are helping, but in the end what ever works for each of us. Daughter also went to health food store and bought everything that had the word ginger on it, she told me to take 1 ginger tablet starting on the friday prior to treatment, and the last one the morning of, plus I snack on gingersnaps, not often but once in awhile. As for quite a ride it sure is..
If you every need to just vent or chat you can e-mail me at grammieahe@hotmail.com

Linda

jim and i's picture
jim and i
Posts: 1683
Joined: May 2011

Praying for comfort and strength. Remember you are never alone.

Blessings

kari88
Posts: 8
Joined: May 2011

Good luck mate,hope you will have a smooth ride with the side effects

4harry
Posts: 5
Joined: Sep 2011

Roger,
It is ok to be scared! I hope everything went well with your 1st day of the chemo pill. My husband had tonsil surgery, 3 big chemo treatments, 30 radiation treatments with 6 weekly chemos, then 6 months later a neck dissection for reoccurrence and then 4 months later a 2nd neck dissection in the same area where it spread to the saliva gland. Now doc says he doubt he got it all...thinks it spreading in the tissues. Make sure you stay strong on the chemo and it is important to drink plenty of WATER WATER AND MORE WATER! I have been giving my husband the alkalined water and now we are trying to heal a surgery scar on his neck that the radiation did. Hang in there and keep us posted!
Shirley

mixleader
Posts: 267
Joined: Oct 2010

Hi, Shirley. I thought I was the only unfortunate victim that had something like this happen. The surgery and the radiation should have killed this thing in my face but then it came back and required another surgery and then it came back again and spread to lungs/back. How the heck did this happen? I feel so cheated. This sounds similar to what happened to your husband. I wish you the best of luck in your fight and I will take your advice on drinking lots of water.

Roger

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5927
Joined: Apr 2009

Just to let you know alkaline water is very good for the body, cancer or no cancer the extra 02 is just great. You can also get an Ozone machine and make your own alkaline water at home just so you know.

Hondo

osmotar's picture
osmotar
Posts: 956
Joined: Jul 2011

Not sure I have ever seen thia, do you have any brand names. or maybe I'm just not paying attention as to whether of not the water I buy is alkaline or note.

Linda

Jan Trinks's picture
Jan Trinks
Posts: 470
Joined: Apr 2009

Roger:

I think it's totally understandable to be worried and scared. This is a whole different regiment than what you've had before. But continue to be brave and courageous and will be praying for success with this regiment!

Jan (Basketcase)

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