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Having bad days again!

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

HI,
My husband died 1& 1/2 years ago on the 25th of this month. For some reason, I've been crying all of a sudden & having sad days. Maybe it's the change of seasons cause I did pretty good all summer. Has this happened to anyone else? We were married 46 years & he was only sick for 2 months and it was a tragic death, and keep thinking about how much I wished I could've helped him.
Hopefully these sad feelings won't get any worse, cause I don't want to go back to my counselor. Anyhow thanks for listening!! "Carole"

trikpnygrl
Posts: 4
Joined: Sep 2011

you're going to find it more easier to handle the anniversary of the death of a loved one as time goes by. always keep in your heart the good memories of times shared with you and your husband and he'll always be with you. he'll be there to comfort you and guide you with each passing day. never think of what you wish you could have done, always remember that the good lord above needed another angel. (((hugs)))

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

Doug will have been gone 2 years in October and last week was our anniversary. I have learned to expect and accept bad days. Things have gotten easier. I was only in a funk for a couple of days after our anniversary this year. I didn't resort to jelly bellies and vinegar potato chips this year either. It sounds like you are having fewer bad days, too. We were with our guys for a long time. Did we really expect to get through this in a short time?Hang in there. Fay

palmyrafan's picture
palmyrafan
Posts: 398
Joined: Mar 2011

I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband and the continued pain it is causing you.

I know it is still fresh in your mind and heart and will only ease with time, but focus on how he lived his life, not how he died. Don't let the 2 months he was ill over-shadow the 46 wonderful years you had together.

Remember the Bible says: "there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven"

Peace,
Teresa

lovingwifedeb's picture
lovingwifedeb
Posts: 184
Joined: Aug 2010

No matter what gets said, it seems each of us has to find a way to make grief fit inside of us and work it around and squish it and smash it until it fills all our nooks and crannies. I also am having a hard time... I know it's soon for me (May 27th, 2011) but my husband and I met during Halloween and guess what? It's coming up soon! Fall is approaching and the leaves are starting to turn, I can feel it in the air even though it's still warm here. It's the anniversaries that get to us I think... every month on a certain day, every year, birthdays, etc. Damn... I miss his laugh.

I dread the winter coming, the dark days. I will have to try very hard this year to keep my head above water to order to stay positive. You will probably hear from me more often... whining most likely. Coming here helps me. There are quite a few who understand and walk in our shoes and they have helped me during my caregiving time. Most people at my work say things before they think it through and it doesn't go over very well. They don't really get it.

I try to always come back to the place where my husband lived during the year of his illness and that was with much bravery. I try to live in my grief his way, with as much courage as I can muster. I admire him with all my heart even though he was not a perfect man and I know that he would want me to be happy again.

I wish you peace Carole.

Deb
redesign08.blogspot.com

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

I know there are going to be bad days now and then, just hate when the tears start for no reason.
We did have some great years in our marriage. I actually knew Tom since we were in 1st grade. We never dated till senior year in high school though. I do remember all the happy times, but seems like that is when I get sad, cause I wish we could still be having good times.
I am not looking forward to gloomy days in winter either and still hate sitting alone at night watching TV.
My 3 kids are great and help me out alot too. And 3 grandsons keep me young!!
Take care Deb. "Carole"

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