need advise

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nlacouture
nlacouture Member Posts: 19
in Esophageal Cancer #1
hello, As some of you know my dad passed away on january 29, 2011. It is sill soo hard to deal with his passing. Anyone had any advise for me? I do think I have been depressed for a while but I try not to show it to my family so they wont worry. Any advise would help greatly.

thank you!

Comments

  • birdiequeen
    birdiequeen Member Posts: 319
    #2
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    I have always found exercise
    I have always found exercise helps me, but I have not lost a parent. If you think it may be depression I would urge you to get professional help. That is easier said then done I understand, but it may be time to look at that option.
  • annalan
    annalan Member Posts: 138
    #3
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    Hi
    I lost my dad many years
    Hi

    I lost my dad many years ago and it still hurts but I have learned to live with it. It is true that time is a great healer, but sometimes a little help is needed. Have you tried bereavement counselling? You've had your dad all your life, the feeling of desolation won't go away in a few short months. In time though it will lessen and you will always remember the love you had for each other.
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #4
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    Welcome
    Hello and welcome. I lost my dad to EC with mets to the liver in March 2010. I agree with exercise as well. It helps me to clear my mind and feel good about myself. I also give credit to our Heavenly Father, without him we would not have been able to get through this journey. Have faith. Go get some berevement counseling. Consider taking an antidepressant/anti anxiety med. You are not alone. Come here and to the Caregivers discussion board often. There you can relate to others who are going through the same things. Emotional Support discussion board is also good. Keep in touch.
    Tina in Va
  • nlacouture
    nlacouture Member Posts: 19
    #5
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    Tina Blondek said:

    Welcome
    Hello and welcome. I lost my dad to EC with mets to the liver in March 2010. I agree with exercise as well. It helps me to clear my mind and feel good about myself. I also give credit to our Heavenly Father, without him we would not have been able to get through this journey. Have faith. Go get some berevement counseling. Consider taking an antidepressant/anti anxiety med. You are not alone. Come here and to the Caregivers discussion board often. There you can relate to others who are going through the same things. Emotional Support discussion board is also good. Keep in touch.
    Tina in Va

    Thank you
    Thank you so much for you advise, I will defenetly try the excercise and see if that helps. but I just found out that they found a tumor in my father in law, so this is just bringing everything from my dad, Im just praying that his tumor is not too advance. I just hate cancer!!! is the devil, Im soo worried that my hisband is going to have to go through what I went through and I would hate for that to happen, I dont wish it on anyone. I tried the rief counsuling but it did not help, all they said was we know your in grief, and I was REALLY? no kidding! im defenetly going to start excersising. Thank you so much to all of you for the advise
    Nicolle
  • nlacouture
    nlacouture Member Posts: 19
    #6
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    Tina Blondek said:

    Welcome
    Hello and welcome. I lost my dad to EC with mets to the liver in March 2010. I agree with exercise as well. It helps me to clear my mind and feel good about myself. I also give credit to our Heavenly Father, without him we would not have been able to get through this journey. Have faith. Go get some berevement counseling. Consider taking an antidepressant/anti anxiety med. You are not alone. Come here and to the Caregivers discussion board often. There you can relate to others who are going through the same things. Emotional Support discussion board is also good. Keep in touch.
    Tina in Va

    Thank you
    Thank you so much for you advise, I will defenetly try the excercise and see if that helps. but I just found out that they found a tumor in my father in law, so this is just bringing everything from my dad, Im just praying that his tumor is not too advance. I just hate cancer!!! is the devil, Im soo worried that my hisband is going to have to go through what I went through and I would hate for that to happen, I dont wish it on anyone. I tried the rief counsuling but it did not help, all they said was we know your in grief, and I was REALLY? no kidding! im defenetly going to start excersising. Thank you so much to all of you for the advise
    Nicolle
  • nlacouture
    nlacouture Member Posts: 19
    #7
    Options
    Tina Blondek said:

    Welcome
    Hello and welcome. I lost my dad to EC with mets to the liver in March 2010. I agree with exercise as well. It helps me to clear my mind and feel good about myself. I also give credit to our Heavenly Father, without him we would not have been able to get through this journey. Have faith. Go get some berevement counseling. Consider taking an antidepressant/anti anxiety med. You are not alone. Come here and to the Caregivers discussion board often. There you can relate to others who are going through the same things. Emotional Support discussion board is also good. Keep in touch.
    Tina in Va

    Thank you
    Thank you so much for you advise, I will defenetly try the excercise and see if that helps. but I just found out that they found a tumor in my father in law, so this is just bringing everything from my dad, Im just praying that his tumor is not too advance. I just hate cancer!!! is the devil, Im soo worried that my hisband is going to have to go through what I went through and I would hate for that to happen, I dont wish it on anyone. I tried the rief counsuling but it did not help, all they said was we know your in grief, and I was REALLY? no kidding! im defenetly going to start excersising. Thank you so much to all of you for the advise
    Nicolle
  • nlacouture
    nlacouture Member Posts: 19
    #8
    Options
    Tina Blondek said:

    Welcome
    Hello and welcome. I lost my dad to EC with mets to the liver in March 2010. I agree with exercise as well. It helps me to clear my mind and feel good about myself. I also give credit to our Heavenly Father, without him we would not have been able to get through this journey. Have faith. Go get some berevement counseling. Consider taking an antidepressant/anti anxiety med. You are not alone. Come here and to the Caregivers discussion board often. There you can relate to others who are going through the same things. Emotional Support discussion board is also good. Keep in touch.
    Tina in Va

    Thank you
    Thank you so much for you advise, I will defenetly try the excercise and see if that helps. but I just found out that they found a tumor in my father in law, so this is just bringing everything from my dad, Im just praying that his tumor is not too advance. I just hate cancer!!! is the devil, Im soo worried that my hisband is going to have to go through what I went through and I would hate for that to happen, I dont wish it on anyone. I tried the rief counsuling but it did not help, all they said was we know your in grief, and I was REALLY? no kidding! im defenetly going to start excersising. Thank you so much to all of you for the advise
    Nicolle
  • jojoshort
    jojoshort Member Posts: 230 Member
    #9
    Options
    nlacouture said:

    Thank you
    Thank you so much for you advise, I will defenetly try the excercise and see if that helps. but I just found out that they found a tumor in my father in law, so this is just bringing everything from my dad, Im just praying that his tumor is not too advance. I just hate cancer!!! is the devil, Im soo worried that my hisband is going to have to go through what I went through and I would hate for that to happen, I dont wish it on anyone. I tried the rief counsuling but it did not help, all they said was we know your in grief, and I was REALLY? no kidding! im defenetly going to start excersising. Thank you so much to all of you for the advise
    Nicolle

    Hi Nicolle,
    I just lost my dear husband just over two weeks ago. I find that I try to settle my mind on good memories, and although the sad moments come, I let them just wash over me and then go look for something that is beautiful or something that I'm grateful for.
    Exercise definitely helps!
    Realizing that we are not here--any of us--forever, that we all must have our time to leave here, is a reality I find comforting.
    Although it feels like I've had people doing nice things for me all the time, having an opportunity to do something nice for someone else is a good thing, too.

    Loss is real, it hurts. Life is for today, for those of us who are here. I hope you find a bit of joy in each day and that it gets better every day.

    Jo-Ann

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