2 Years and Counting -- Getting my life, my pretty and my groove back!!

August 14, 2011 ...

I had breast cancer, but breast cancer no longer defines me. I am a breast cancer SURVIVOR!


Another year has passed ... There is hope for getting back to our 'normal', or my new normal as many of us will never look at life thru those rose colored glasses. I no longer take anyone, or anything for granted. I stop to smell the roses, and taste each cup of coffee. Treasure time with family, friends and enjoy trying to regain my strength, and rid myself of this chronic fatigue.

I now walk 2.5 to 3 miles 4 x a week, up from my 1/2 miles walks this time last year. Gym visits and work outs continue, as well. I've signed up for 2 College courses -- starting school on 8/31 -- purchased a 'pink' over the shoulder back pack in preparation of my first day of school. Yoga is something I can not master, not so limber yet .. WHO said, Yoga was relaxing??? I have resumed my Culinary classes -my husband, and friends are enjoying the fruits of my labor. Painting classes are no longer a passion of mine. I want to be free, and allowed to move about freely. Played a round of golf 2 weeks ago, not too excited about golf any longer.



Last year at this time, I wrote this post

=====================
August 14, 2010

First: thanks to all my breast cancer sisters for being out there. You women have given me more hope and valuable information than any of my doctors ever could. I just wanted to share my gratitude, feelings and thoughts.

18 weeks of consecutive chemo therapy -- ending on December 18, 2009 - dose dense chemo treatment plan .. I made it ... crawling to the finish line

1 year of Herceptin -- ending August 20, 2010
Lumpectomy -- 8-10-09
Breast Cancer diagnosis 8-14-09
Bilateral Mastectomy January 12, 2010
Vacation to Grand Canyon April 6th

Emergency surgery and 5 day hospital stay 4-18-10 to removed right tissue expander infection by staph (Staph infection and where or how I contacted is still a mystery to this day - My Infectious Disease Doctor has ordered me to stay in the US for the next 3 years // no traveling outside US)

6 weeks with 1 fully expanded TE, and 1 breast completely flatten - Unbearable and emotional
Surgery to add a new right expander - 5-22-10
Exchange surgery -- 7-21-10 (no nipples, no areola) Incision scars very visible, and raised (due to the many cuts)
Right breast dropped -- 9-28-10 .. another surgery to 'lift' Barbie.. Bambi (lefty) is good to go.

8 major surgeries in 13 months ... too many in my humble opinion.!!


Severe reactions to my chemo drugs (TCH) -- insomnia,depression and chronic fatigue appeared to be my only friends for so long. I cried daily, had many very dark days and nights, I did have family around - but found myself lonely and unable to convey my feelings. I was no longer the Vicki I remembered.

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor, NED paid me a visit on January 17, 2010. I still find myself very emotional, I don't cry not as much, its just very hard to accept what has happen in my life. I try to be positive but that has its moments. I always wonder will it come back, the dreaded "C" word. My husband is very supportive of all of emotional craziness, as my Oncologist gave us statistics from my prognosis this past Friday. I face several reconstructive surgery, and no health insurance at the end of September 2010.

My next step and goal -- do all that I can to affect a good outcome (exercise, meditation, massage, foods etc) but I also accept that the outcome is ultimately not in my hands, and I am trying to“live in the here and now. However, I do worry that going back to my old life and work and pretending like nothing happened is denial rather than acceptance and that if I don't use this time "wisely" that I will regret it later. I am adopting my teenager's sense of invincibility, with slight caution!

Putting 1 foot in front of the other :-))

WE ARE WARRIORS!!!!

I adore and LOVE you all,

Vicki Sam