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Lost my mother

Carson23
Posts: 2
Joined: Aug 2011

Hey everybody i recently lost my mom to this pancreatic cancer tumour im not even sure exactly what they call it.But i know what it does and that is destroy good people.I lost my mom 2 and a half months ago it doesnt even feel real i keep thinking im fine but then out of nowhere it just hits me.Im constantly up and down i really dont know what to say or do.My mother was in her early 40s and in great health i am 23 and my most helpful person in my whole life is gone to a death she didnt deserve.I am left with a sister whos greed has no limits,and a father who is a liar and only thinks of himself.My mom was my only help from these wolves im left to fight off.I have found people who are not even of my own family be more sympathetic and helpful than my own flesh and blood.My question is does the pain ever go away?I cant see how it does.

MrsJP
Posts: 156
Joined: Jan 2011

Its so hard to loose someone you love. My Dad passed away over 30 years ago, I was only 12. He was my rock and I miss his so much it still hurts at times. Your pain will never completely go away, but time will ease it some. Your mom will stay alive in your heart and she will live on in your memories of her. I'm not sure of your faith but the book Heaven is for Real gave me hope that I will see my father again. This book is based on alittle boys death experience and time spent in heaven. I pray that your relationship with your sister and father improves. I'm sure they are hurting too.

Be Well
JP

sea60's picture
sea60
Posts: 2601
Joined: May 2010

since I have a son whom I love so much! It was hard for my son when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. We are very close. I just know you held a very special place in your Mom's heart.

You will always miss your Mom. But I think the "hurt and pain" will lessen as time passes. I know she's instilled goodness in your heart that you will carry around with you and share with others. All you can do is try and let go of resentment because you can't control the behavior of others. But you can control yours. I have come across a saying about unforgiveness...it's like "putting yourself in prison". Forgiveness and letting go frees YOU!

I know you cherish the times you had with your Mom. And I believe also that one day, you will see her again.

Hugs,

Sylvia

susankay
Posts: 5
Joined: Aug 2011

I also recently lost my mother. I am 28 and she was 60. It has only been four months and all I can tell you is that the emotions seem to come in waves. Some days I am happy, other days depressed, sad, outraged, confused, etc. I think the important thing is that over time the waves get smaller and smaller until you almost don't notice them anymore. The sadness will always be there, but in time will come acceptance. Take care and much love, Susan Kay

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1611
Joined: Aug 2009

Grieving is hard and takes time. Your grief is still very new. In answer to your question, no, the pain does not go away. It becomes manageable and we learn to live with it. in some ways, that is a good thing. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but the pain reminds us of how important that person was to us. It helps us remember the good things, the times we shared, the things we learned. You know in your heart that you don't ever want to forget your mom. That pain is a reminder of her and the love you shared. Right now, it is raw and hard to accept, but in time it will be less painful. I think you might benefit from the post under Grief and Bereavement. A number of people there have lost a parent and you will see that you are not alone. It might also help to find a grief counselor. Take care, Fay

alex_rojo
Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2011

Carson, I lost my mother too, two and a half months ago. I only can tell you that like you, this is the most difficult time in all my life. The pain is never go away, but your mom it will be with you all the time. She takes care you and she will help you to feel better.

teenadee
Posts: 86
Joined: Aug 2011

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your mother. She did not deserve this at all and I cannot understand why this happens. My mom has Bone Met cancer and is getting worse. She is much older than yours but I feel your pain deeply as I cannot imagine my life without her and it will happen. You know, in every family there is someone like your sister, you are not alone at all on this topic and it would take me months to write my own story but I'll save you the craziness. All I can say is that you need to stay clear of people like that and be around people that love you and truly care about you. It doesn't matter if they are not your flesh and blood. I have friends that mean so much to me and I tell them so much more than I tell my own sister. For your dad, this is terrible because he needs to be there for you his son! Have you tried telling your dad how he makes you feel? I am not one to judge on family matters but he needs to step up and be a good father to you and love you in this awful time. I don't know if the pain will go away but I have been told with time it lessens. God bless you and take care of you!

bubblegumx3
Posts: 7
Joined: Sep 2011

My heart is breaking because my mom has stage 4 primary liver cancer and despite all the treatment, the cancer has spread. doctors say mom doesnt have time.. couple hours or a days at max. idk how to cope.. i need my mother..

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