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Bluerose you must be blessed

cooky38
Posts: 29
Joined: Jun 2011

Bluerose you must be a blessed child of god, i would love to feel what you did whenever you recieved your healing, i keep praying for god to heal me, i have everyone else who believes in god to pray, but so far i still feel so bad. I have always been taught that god does everything in his own time, so i guess i will wait on him, i am trying so hard to hang on to my faith. Its really hard whenever you have a doctor that won't listen, even tho hes an older onc and he's been around cancer for a long time.

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bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

I believe that too. I also think that we all have lessons to learn on earth and for one to stay while another might have to go Home is just a sign that the one who has been called Home has learned his/her lesson and is done on earth here - advancement of the soul. I am a little thick so I might be here for awhile. lol.

I think we are all blessed but I also believe in a divine plan so it's hard to know sometimes how we all fit into it. Trust and have faith.

Sometimes I find the older doctors are set in their ways and when that happens to me with a specialist I always get a second opinion from a younger doc. It usually works for me. Just an idea.

Thanks for the nice posting Cooky. Talk to you soon.

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bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi everyone,

 

It's been a long time since I have been on the site but things have led me back here, I don't really ask why, it just happens sometimes.

About 3 years or a little more ago they found a cyst on my ovary and have been following it ever since.  Because my health is sort of 'iffy' at the best of times they didn't want to operate unless they really felt they had no choice and I think they were hoping that like many cysts it would just go away and that would be that.  However, even though it did shrink then almost go away at a couple of points it came back and after a few months of watching it they decided that the cyst was now getting too big, had something inside it now, sheeesh, and not only that but the lining of my uterus was thickening and there were cysts in there too now.  Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

 

Sooooooooooooooo, I am going into surgery for a full hysterectomy on October 23, 2013 and I can't lie, I'm skeered.  The surgeon said that it will be risky surgery and there is a chance I won't make it.  Not a great way to start the day with that kind of comment but it is what it is I guess.  I have fought the battle before, a couple of times, God has come through for me with a huge healing that I write about in some of my past postings so I am hoping for another big break.  All I can do is pray and ask that maybe one or two of you might say a little prayer for me too.  I would so appreciate that.

 

I hope that you are all handling your individual situations with strength and love and hope that this brief update finds most of you doing well and strong.

 

Hope to talk to you soon.  God Bless you and yours.  Love, Bluerose

 

northa914
Posts: 89
Joined: Mar 2011

Nice to hear from you again, though I wish it was to just say "hi" and not for the reason you wrote about.  Just wanted to let you know that I - as I'm sure many others do on this site - miss your posts and encouragement.  You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope that God blesses you with another big break and helps you through your surgery and recovery.  Please keep us posted when you feel up to it.  It's always nice to hear from one of our friends!!!

Andrea

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bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

How great to hear from you !!!  I have missed the site and many times have nearly gotten back for a longer stay but each time I was just about to do just that something would happen with my health and would send me off in another direction for a long time.  You know how that goes?

Before I go into surgery though I for sure wanted to come back to post an update and hello in case recouperation takes longer than I have planned.

Thank you for your kind words regarding my past posts on this site but I really think we all help each other with our experiences no matter what they were.  A person can take away so many great life lessons from really reading and understanding the words of someone outlining their experiences and struggles with cancer.  If we can't all help each other by sharing our experience then what was the point?  At least that is how I feel about it.  Plus, sharing just makes one feel better - God's little payback to us for taking the time to share and help.

How have you been doing?  I will be on the site for a few days before I have to get down to more details before surgery.  Sunday, on top of everything else I developed a toothache yet.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  On antibiotics now for that.  The fun never ends.  lol.

Have a good day and talk to you soon.

Blessings,

Bluerose

 

 

 

 

 

 

northa914
Posts: 89
Joined: Mar 2011

You are so right about helping each other with our shared experiences.  I too have been given a lot of life lessons through this site, and even made a few great friends.  I've been doing well, discovered I was misdiagnosed in January this year (diagnosed with stage 4 cholangiocarcinoma in June 2010, rediagnosed with pancreatic neuroendocirne tumor in January 2013) so am now pursuing a completely different and less toxic path.  Nothing like chasing the wrong beast for 2 1/2 years!  The effects from the chemo have been worse than the disease, but I keep my eye on the fact that I still feel pretty good, and am still alive and kicking!  So sorry to hear about your toothache, when it rains it sure pours sometimes!  You have such a great spirit in spite of all you've been through, please know that you're an inspiration to us all and I try to pay it forward.

I am praying that your surgery goes well and that you will feel well enough afterwards to keep us posted.  I'll be on the lookout for you before and after, and will think of and pray for you!!!  God bless you, Bluerose.

 

Andrea

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bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

Thank you so much Andrea for those lovely comments.  Like the subject line says to this entry sometimes people just don't realize how this kind of response that you made to me can do wonders for a person.  Your comments to me have really made a big difference in my Thanksgiving, I mean it.  It would take forever to describe why but just wanted you to know that you have made a difference to one little survivor here (okay maybe not so little but still, lol).

I am devastated at the news that you received - that you were diagnosed incorrectly.  How horrible.  I have heard of that happening but not to someone I have gotten to know online like this.  I am so sorry you had to go through that .  Do you think that you will have any damage from incorrect chemo or any other parts of the wrong regime?  Just awful.  I guess the important thing now is for you to move forward with hopefully the correct diagnosis and please try not to get caught up in anger at the mistake but even as I type that heck I'm angry so I wouldn't blame you a bit for being livid at it all.  You were the one going through all that for like you said over 2 years.  Wow.

I have said, over and over on this site,  that I believe there is always a reason for why things happen in life and perhaps you were chosen as a teacher to warn others about being extra vigilant and maybe even getting 2 or 3 second opinions from different docs when a diagnosis is being sought.  I am sure you did all of those things but still it happened.  I just feel so nauseous at the thought of that.  You are a strong person as well, as most survivors truly are, and I know that you will forge ahead and blow this thing out of the water and if it turns out that it will be chronic you will still win with your strength.

Thanks for the prayers, I truly appreciate that.  My toothache actually seems to be responding to the penicillin they put me on so I am hoping that they can keep it all under control til after the surgery I am headed for and save me more trauma.  One thing on top of the other lately - it's nuts.  AND a few days ago my cat decides to start having kidney issues and I just dropped a fortune at the Vets.  Oh why not?  Sigh.  lol.  Good news is that she is home and things so far seem to be leveling out but she has to be watched carefully.  I'm expecting locusts next.  lol.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and talk to you soon.

Hugs,

Bluerose

 

 

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wolfen
Posts: 1192
Joined: Apr 2009

Bluerose,

Just wanted to send healing vibes to you for your upcoming surgery. I am not a person of strong faith, but my daughter, Johnnybegood is & it has served her well for these past 5 years. She says God is the reason she is still here fighting each day. I wish it could have been so for my husband, but for some reason, it was not.

I had a hysterectomy many moons ago, not cancer related. It was not a piece of cake, but is doable. I sort of compared it to my C-section, but without the reward of the beautiful baby. The recovery is a bit longer also. Just remember not to lift anything heavy afterwards.

Somehow, we all do what we must to survive this life. Never, ever give up.

Luv,

Wolfen

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bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

Sooooooooooooo good hearing from you.  How have you been?  Thank you for touching base and for the kind words of encouragement and good wishes for my upcoming surgery.  I'm not going to lie I am a bit freaked out as this will be considered a high risk surgery, the surgeon said.  Of course anyone who has had any other, or has any other, condition going into surgery is higher risk than someone who is without other medical issues but I believe God is watching over us all and I take great comfort from that.

Oh I so wish that you had stronger faith Wolfen, it's just such a great source of comfort and hope and if you remember I actually had a healing when I was in very poor shape with my first goround with the big C.  I already had faith but that sure sealed it for me when that dramatic event took place, so many years ago.  I wish there was some way of letting other survivors feel what I did that day of the healing, came right out of nowhere and there was such a 'knowing' that I felt, a knowing that there was indeed a God and that She was looking out for each and every one of us.

Anywho, I found great encouragement from your words that you wrote to me just now and it never hurts to repeat our anthem "NEVER, EVER GIVE UP.  Thank you for that, I really needed to hear that once again, right about now.

Do let me know how you are doing will you? It's our Thanksgiving here in Canada today so time to remember all the good things that have happened in my life and give much thanks.  One of the wonderful things to give thanks for is surely finding this site, several years back, and meeting so many wonderful people, like yourself.

Take good care of yourself.  Talk to you soon.  Hugs and many blessings, Bluerose

 

northa914
Posts: 89
Joined: Mar 2011

Isn't it amazing how being there for each other gives us so much in return?  It's so uplifting to know when one had made a positive difference in someone else's life, sometimes giving us that extra push to put that one foot in front of the other, even if we're only able to take one step that day.  I had to think when you wished me a Happy Thanksgiving, and then I remembered that in Canada the holiday is celebrated the month before ours.  At first I thought "God help me, is my chemo-brain that bad?" I have laughed at myself quite a bit at the way my brain works now due to age and chemo. My boys think I'm crazy, though they do try to pull the "Don't you remember that you said you'd buy me...?" before birthdays and Christmas.  Glad to hear that your tooth is doing better, and a big, fat UGH about your cat.  I have two dogs of my own, and after treating one of them for cancer I’m looking into pet insurance. 

 

I too believe that things happen for a reason.  Before I was diagnosed I was under a tremendous amount of stress, and wasn’t taking care of myself as I should.  My diagnosis – or should I say misdiagnosis – was a huge wake-up call to stop worrying and start taking care of myself.  My rediagnosis is a reminder to do as you said, and that is to be extra vigilant.  My second opinion was done by the City of Hope, a premier cancer institution in California.  Many put their faith in these places that have a top notch reputation, just as I did.  My story is an example of the imperfection that exists in even then the most highly regarded cancer centers.  I do have some damage from the previous therapies, mainly neuropathy and the oh-so-annoying chemo-brain.  My biggest concern is the secondary leukemia that can develop when one is administered the platinum drugs, in my case cisplatin and oxaliplatin.  The last type of chemo I was given was FOLFIRINOX, which was extra-special.  Eight hours in the chemo chair, then hooked up to a pump for 46 hours…while chasing two boys and two big dogs…  The FOLFIRINOX was our last resort, that is until January of this year when my rediagnosis opened up a whole new world of different therapies.  So…I keep my eye on the ball marked “another chance” as opposed to the one that says “What do you mean misdiagnosed?!?!?!”  I was angry at first, then really happy that I was being given another chance.  My next thought was “Oh crap!  I need to get a job!” because I had ceased operations of my construction company in August 2012, right before I started on the FOLFIRINOX.  I have to admit that I do feel much better now that the therapy that I’m on isn’t considered cytotoxic.  It’s still chemotherapy, but the side effects are not nearly as bad as all of the other junk I had pumped into my veins.  I think the fatigue and aches I feel now are from the previous regimes.

As always, I’m praying for you, and now for your cat as well.  Any other pets I should add to my prayer list?  Laughing  Oh – I’m also praying for no locusts, geez, it’s poured enough for you already!

 

Andrea

 

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bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

Well I'm now into week 5 of recovery after my surgery.  You were right, not easy but doable so slowly I am starting to come around.  The recouperation so close to Xmas has really put me behind and the fatigue that comes with such a big surgery isn't helping either (on top of my regular fatigue, sheeeshhh), it's a wonder I can get up to pee.  lol.  Just so tired all the time but hopefully that will get a little better over time.

 

The surgery went with no glitches, amazingly, was in hospital for a week.  The pet sitter turned into an angel and is still around each day to help me with the pets and to go get groceries I need and do errands, didn't even know her before I sought her out for pet sitting - amazing how God works eh?  When you need them angels do appear.

 

Biopsies were done of the uterus, ovaries etc and ALL FINE NO CANCER.  WHEW.  What a different Xmas this would have been if it had gone the other way but it didn't.  So greatful for that.

 

Looks like your prayers worked Andrea, I came through yet again, must still have work to do on this crazy planet.  I wonder what it is?  Even my cat has rallied, so that's all the Xmas gift I need, that plus my getting through surgery too of course. 

 

Hope this reply finds you having a good day Andrea.  Take good care.

 

Blessings,

Bluerose

northa914
Posts: 89
Joined: Mar 2011

So glad you’re still here, and that your sense of humor is intact!!!  I’ve been thinking about you for the past few months, hoping you made it through and were recovering well.  I consider it a Christmas present to me that you’re still alive and kicking and that there was no cancer found.  Truly a blessing not only for you but also for us who have grown so fond of you and your perpetually positive attitude.  A big fat UGH for the fatigue; to pile on recuperation with the oh-so-not-wonderful post-chemo induced effects must be daunting.  And during the Christmas season to boot!  I have no excuse for being behind with my Christmas duties.  We’ve had our tree for more than a week and have yet to decorate it, and only half of my lights are up.  Meh, we’ll get around to it before the 25th.  I’m just happy to be around for another holiday season to haunt my kids and torture them by not giving them even a little hint of what Santa-mom is bringing for Christmas.

 

Glad to hear your cat is better too.  And that you’ve been blessed with another angel to help you.  It’s amazing how they appear when we need them the most, and come when they’re least expected.  I’m sure your pets are your angels too.  I have two big dogs that are big-time cuddlers; by the middle of the night they have me squished into a small corner of the bed.  Either that or I have 95 lbs laying on my feet and another 65 across my chest.  But I wouldn’t have it any other way!

 

I’m doing well, spent a couple of days in the hospital for tests and observation.  I was released when my oncologist couldn’t find the source of my fever and cough (I was recovering from a cold which always ends with a heinous cough).  She was afraid I had pneumonia, either bacterial or viral or chemo-induced, so as a precaution she checked me in.  I wasn’t too pleased having to stay, but am thankful she isn’t dismissive of my symptoms.  And I’m looking forward to 10 days in Maui (Shhh! It’s a surprise for my boys!  Good thing they don’t access this website).  Some really nice weather, a ton of fresh seafood, and watching my sons have a blast is a great way to end this year and start the next one.

 

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas, and that the New Year brings happiness and good health to you!  Take good care of yourself, and let us know how you’re doing.  Sending many prayers, blessings, and good juju your way!

 

Andrea

 

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

Wow Maui.  I could use about a year in the warm sun right now with a major winter storm on the way, AGAIN.  lol.  Oh well it's Canada, what do you expect in December in the middle of Canada , EH?  LOL.

 

I hear you about the importance of pets.  I would have never made it as far as I have without my two furry pals here.  They are better than all of my medications put together and I'm sure you feel the same way about your pets too.  Just the other day I was thinking about all I had to do for the holidays and how little energy I had, and money, sigh, and I glanced over at my Chihuahua who was fast asleep with his 4 legs straight up in the air.  What a hoot.  You wouldn't think that was comfortable but I guess for him it is.  I wouldn't have thought it possible to smile, let alone laugh while thoughts of bills and chores flooded my mind but only a dog can do that for an owner, bring you right out of it and create a nice moment out of darker thoughts.  They are angels for sure.

 

Glad to know that you have a doctor who seems to be covering all the bases and is taking no chances with your health.  That's so comforting and necessary to a person's well being - trusting your doc, as you well know.  Good stuff.

 

I am sitting in the glow of my Xmas tree, it's darker than it should be for only 4pm but like I said we are expecting a huge winter storm anytime now.  Pray for me will ya?  lol.

 

I truly appreciate your thoughts and prayers during my recent challenges and no doubt some of those prayers surely got through because I'm still here.  lol

 

Thank you for all your kind words and if I don't hear from you again before Xmas do have the best one possible.  Maui.  Sheeesh.  lol

 

Later kiddo.  Take care of yourself.

 

Blessings,

Bluerose

northa914
Posts: 89
Joined: Mar 2011

Sorry to take so long to respond.  I’ve been crazy busy with the Christmas holidays and trying to recover from my hospital stay.  Still have bone pain that lays me out if I don’t keep up with pain meds, and had to recover from ANOTHER cold I caught during my hospital stay, but no more pneumonia scares thank goodness!  Didn’t keep me from flying to Maui though, or from praying that the winter storm didn’t affect you too badly.  Wish you could have joined us here, it’s been 82 degrees, and the view from our condo is amazing.  We’ve already planned to come back in December 2015.  Unless I win the lottery or the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, it’ll take me that long to save enough money for the trip.   Hope you had a wonderful Christmas.  I hear you about the bills and chores, and the little energy and money.  I did all of my shopping online except for a quick stop to Best Buy (an electronics store stateside, don’t know if they’ve invaded Canada yet).  And once the shopping was done came the wrapping.  I did all of it on Christmas Eve since my boys were with their dad until December 26th.  That and my Pit-Lab pup thinks that everything left on the floor is a toy and meant to be chewed into oblivion.  My boys’ reaction to their Christmas surprise was priceless.  My oldest got that deer-in-the-headlights look, and my youngest covered his face with his hands and started crying.  Worth every penny! 

 

Your Chihuahua sounds like quite a character.  He plays dead even if when you don’t ask him to.  I’ve come to the conclusion that even though my dogs are 95 lbs and 65 lbs and look like they’d eat you alive, they are absolutely worthless guard dogs and would let anyone into our home if they had a few dog cookies in their pockets.  Heck, forget the cookies, as long as they’re comfortable in my bed they aren’t moving an inch.  Well, maybe they’ll raise their heads but that’s about it. 

 

Hope the New Year finds you healthy and in good spirits!  Good thoughts and JuJu coming your way from Maui!  Take good care of yourself, you are a bright spot on this site!

 

Andrea

 

 

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