Other Patients at the Cancer Care Center...?

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pinkpalette
pinkpalette Member Posts: 112
in Breast Cancer #1
I just went for my first infusion and I was wondering if you all have found that the people there at your cancer care centers are rude and unfriendly? The nurses were great. But.... the patients were not at all friendly, so to speak. I went in with a positive attitude, dang, it ain't like I ain't in the same boat as everyone else there. Well, I smiled at a few women and they either turned away or gave me the stink eye. One woman had a lovely turban and scarf combo thingy that I loved and I wanted so bad to ask her about it, but she seemed so unapproachable. Wow, by my next chemo, I ain't gonna have no hair either. After a while, I just sent my husband home and plugged in my earphones to pass the time. I hope I'm just venting. I guess I'm not quite a member of the "club" until maybe my next chemo cycle in 3 weeks.

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  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #2
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    I found that some people
    I found that some people didn't want to talk or be approached but I also found many great friends.
    It might just take a while before they open up to you because they might have seen people come and go and also
    some that didn't return (this happened to me) and as sad as it was, I was proud to have been a friend while he was still here.
    By the way, weird as it sounds, not one other person in my chemo center had breast cancer. It was a variety of different ones but I
    was one of the few who lost their hair.
    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #3
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    I didn't
    encounter anyone who wasn't willing to at least share a hello. Sorry you didn't have a great welcome. I had several conversations with many while going for my 6 treatments. Hope next time is better. I always brought a book, something to crochet and watched tv.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #4
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    cahjah75 said:

    I didn't
    encounter anyone who wasn't willing to at least share a hello. Sorry you didn't have a great welcome. I had several conversations with many while going for my 6 treatments. Hope next time is better. I always brought a book, something to crochet and watched tv.
    {{hugs}} Char

    Nobody in chemo was really
    Nobody in chemo was really friendly. everyone stayed in their cubbies and kept to themselves. People in the medical shop there werte nice. I did meet some people in radiation though!
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #5
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    cahjah75 said:

    I didn't
    encounter anyone who wasn't willing to at least share a hello. Sorry you didn't have a great welcome. I had several conversations with many while going for my 6 treatments. Hope next time is better. I always brought a book, something to crochet and watched tv.
    {{hugs}} Char

    Everyone at my Cancer Center
    Everyone at my Cancer Center was great! I didn't take chemo, but, I had rads. Almost all of the patients were very friendly. However, there were a couple that just seemed to want to be left alone, not friendly at all. But, I understood that. The staff was above and beyond nice!


    Hugs, Debby
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    #6
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    In all my 8 treatments, no
    In all my 8 treatments, no one spoke to me once. But we all had our own suite so it was hard to interact with them. I was OK with this though. It didn't bother me much as I was already anxious enough! But I understand why you would feel weird. Many people process their treatments differently. I say you take a chance and approach them- see what happens. :)
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
    #7
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    LoveBabyJesus said:

    In all my 8 treatments, no
    In all my 8 treatments, no one spoke to me once. But we all had our own suite so it was hard to interact with them. I was OK with this though. It didn't bother me much as I was already anxious enough! But I understand why you would feel weird. Many people process their treatments differently. I say you take a chance and approach them- see what happens. :)

    Chemo is a very dark thing...
    At my clinic everyone pretty much kept to themselves too. I guess it's a time where everyone is still frightened about their journey and the processes they still have left and what the chemo is doing to help out. It's gloomy and dark and unknowingly so it can make people's behavior the same way. Don't give up though, I know when I had my appointments there weren't always the same people in the treatment room. A couple of times I did find people that reached out to me.

    Now if you have radiation, that's a whole separate sorority club. Those people are fun... I guess it's because you see each other every day versus once every three weeks. It's hard to keep up with each other during those visits. When my prostrate boys graduated radiation a week before me I felt saddened. But lo and behold a very nice lady came in during their time slot. I wonder how she is doing now that I am two weeks out of radiation treatments? And what about the one woman that came daily with her adult daughter who was going through chemo and radiation at the same time? It's times like this you wish hospitals weren't so tight with information regarding patient confidentiality.

    Hang in there Debbie, your bubbly personality will find many friends along your journey. Plus I am sure those chemo nurses like visiting with you more because of your upbeat personality. I can't imagine having their job, making people sick...

    Hugs,
    Lorrie
  • grams2jc
    grams2jc Member Posts: 756
    #8
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    Try talking with the staff
    I would start a conversation with infusion room staff and before you know it more folks would join in and sometimes we got a little rowdy, of course you are gonna have folks falling asleep at any moment when their Benadryl kicks in but that's ok too. I also used bribery, I would bring in a bag of individual packages of chips and crackers or cookies and pass them around to those who wanted.. that would get them talking. But I also was ok with just quiet time with my ipod, my book and handheld game.

    I ran into 1 chemo buddy at radiation on my next to last day and of course we had to have a big hug,

    Jennifer
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #9
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    The center where I had my
    The center where I had my chemo was not "communal" so to speak~ each one had a private room with a TV and a chair for 2 visitors...so really, I never did interact with anyone else! The chemo nurses were amazing, empathetic women ( a lot like us here on the boards!)but I can't speak to how anyone else was. I never had chemo at the same time of day, either, and going every 3 weeks also didn't contribute to me getting to know anyone in the waiting room..but we did smile and nod in acknowledgment of each others' presence! LOL The Kindred Spirits here on the boards are The Club to end all clubs, so don't you worry your pretty little soon to be bald head about your cancer center! LOL
  • sparkle1
    sparkle1 Member Posts: 242
    #10
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    I met a now friend at the
    I met a now friend at the chemo center. I was one chemo infusion ahead of her so she watched me and I shared with her my experiences and it seem to help her prepare for her next one. We asked that our appointments be on the same day and as close to each other as possible so we could chat. After a few sessions, everyone thought we were having a party and that we must have put a little something extra in our IVs because we laughed so hard. I finished my sessions ahead of her and we went to different radiation doctors but we now keep in touch. At first I thought because of the difference in our ages that we had nothing in common. I'm 53 and Helen is 70. Helen children always accompanied her to chemo and was amazed that she now had a friend the same age as one of her daughters. I call her often.

    Sparkle
  • mamolady
    mamolady Member Posts: 796 Member
    #11
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    every one is different
    Where I was, there was a bit of space between chairs. We had at least a curtain between also. Sometimes I was in my own room. Most people smiled if I did but didn't initiate a conversation. I had my sister there for the entire time. We chatted or watched a movie or snacked. With the taxol premeds, I slept for the last half of the infusion. Usually in the waiting area before being hooked up, was the only time the others were more chatty.

    Radiation is totally different, almost all of the women are chatty! We would be in the middle of a great conversation and the techs would come to take someone away! It was great because even if they were behind, we were enjoying the time.

    Cindy
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #12
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    I never thought about it - I
    I never thought about it - I really didn't see anyone who seemed Rude or unfriendly. Just each in their own space.

    The CCI that I went to was set up for privacy - everyone had their own cubicle. The cubicles with the recliners had 3 hard walls and a curtain that could be pulled across the front of it if you wanted to. The cubicles that had beds had a glass wall across the front side of it. All had TV's. The bed cubicles had their own heat/cool thermostat so you could get comfy - I was always cold even with the heated blankets.

    I did the 4 A/C in the recliner ones and read most of the time. The 12 Taxol I did in the bed ones as I'd go "Nighty-Night" as soon as they started the IV benadryl and sleep til about 1/2 hr before done.

    Personally I was very happy with it that way - I had my private little space to be with 'me, myself, and I' which I'm quite comfortable doing. But we are all different.

    Susan
  • mruczko
    mruczko Member Posts: 110
    #13
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    Other patients
    The infusion room was one open space at the oncologist's office. I had to be forced into it, oncologist pulling my arm, husband pushing behind. I wept uncontrollably. A lady came over, held my hand and talked soothingly to me until the nurses took over. I found the nurses to be amazingly competent and caring. We were carefully observed, they took notes and shared them with the doctors at regular meetings. Some people were chatty (sometimes too chatty) and others withdrawn. I saw some sick people there and down the road I, too, had a hard time. Certainly was not up to being friendly, I wanted to be left alone. Not to be rude I listened to CD's and in that way shut out the world around me. Also the meds I got before chemo made me very drowsy for about 1 hr. I spend every week in the chemo room for 6 months and then every 3 weeks (Herceptin) for another 6 months, don't miss that place one bit, hope I NEVER see it again!
    Marlene
    PS - I always ask for the port area to be deadend with a freeze spray, which made inserting the needle practically painless.
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #14
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    mamolady said:

    every one is different
    Where I was, there was a bit of space between chairs. We had at least a curtain between also. Sometimes I was in my own room. Most people smiled if I did but didn't initiate a conversation. I had my sister there for the entire time. We chatted or watched a movie or snacked. With the taxol premeds, I slept for the last half of the infusion. Usually in the waiting area before being hooked up, was the only time the others were more chatty.

    Radiation is totally different, almost all of the women are chatty! We would be in the middle of a great conversation and the techs would come to take someone away! It was great because even if they were behind, we were enjoying the time.

    Cindy

    I loved everyone at my
    I loved everyone at my cancer center, the staff, the doctors and the patients. But, I am talking about radiation treatments, not chemo. Seeing each other every day for weeks gave me some new friends!
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
    #15
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    I would say make a point to
    I would say make a point to speak to someone. Maybe the lady with the nice scarfs. If the person doesn't want to be bothered, you'll be able to tell. Some people don't know what to say. I know I didn't always. I hated to say how are you--you have cancer...maybe others would like to talk but feel awkward. The waiting area was the only place to actually talk. Once in the infustion room, a lot of us slept.

    Don't give up yet,

    Judy

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