Jul 10, 2011 - 2:25 am
"Feeling the pain follows accepting the loss. Trying to avoid pain is natural, but only prolongs the process. You may try to cut off your feelings, to keep yourself too busy to feel or think, or to dwell only on pleasant memories. The pain will eventually appear in another form, such as depression or illness. Feeling the pain may be the hardest part of grieving, so receiving help and support from others is essential. Remember, pain is a necessary part of healing."
I just read this and thought I would share it with you/others... I'm new at this level of grief (husband dying, and 9 days earlier my mother died of lung cancer) so any information is good information for me to hear. My husband passed on May 27th, I've been counting days since he was diagnosed with melanoma last year on Father's Day. I hope to one day get tired of counting days... it has not only affected my happy memories I allowed it to affect the time I had left with him.
So... "Feeling the pain follow accepting the loss"... well after getting through the death of the two people I have shared my most private thoughts with I now feel very much alone on this earth. Yes... I am old enough to stand up on my own two feet, wise to know life goes on, know that my husband would not want me to linger in sadness for very long, nor would my mother. Strength got me through a tough year, a very rough road of cancer and so on... now I fall into the downhill slide of facing my own feelings? Ya, right. What's this? One huge cold sore on my lip which I haven't had for years... ready or not those feelings are coming my way.
Trying to avoid pain? What do I do? I used to drink more... I get Migraines really bad so that won't work for me now. Food is a good substitute but when you are only 5 feet that is pretty silly because pretty soon you become wider than you are tall. I like to read... which is good because maybe I will read something useful on grief... OK... Gothic novels don't make you cry... I have a glass mosaic project I need to finish... I think my husband would really appreciate it and be proud that I got it off the table finally.
Feeling good again?