Tips on how to keep my mind from wandering

aysemari
aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
edited July 2011 in Breast Cancer #1
Good morning sisters!

I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. I got carried away and before
I knew I had walked over 6 miles in the park. On my way to the car
I got dizzy and nauseous, on top of it I had these weird spots on
my legs, they looked like spider webs. Yes, I went there, and yes I
freaked out a bit. Which is not like me.

But you know the saying, it is too good to be true? And I am having
the time of my life and am worried that it may in fact be too good to
be true. I just don't feel good, my glands on my throat swell up yesterday
and there was a burning feeling in my chest. I still don't feel good this
morning. And all this because of a long walk?

Also I have pangs of guilt.... my poor guy would be so heart broken
if god forbid I was ill again. I don't want to hurt him. I think I
would break up with him and not tell him, if that would ever be the
case. I feel stuck between my highest expectations of life and my
worst fears... It's a thin line and very hard to keep a balance and
not tip to one side or the other. I have so many dreams, plans - as
I said from day one of my diagnosis - I AM NOT DONE!

Love,
Ayse

Comments

  • skipper54
    skipper54 Member Posts: 936 Member
    #2
    Sounds like you overdid it a bit!
    Don't jump to conclusions! Yes, you should talk to the Dr. but you know that already. Sending hugs and prayers that all will be well and you just stressed your body a bit too much.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #3
    skipper54 said:

    Sounds like you overdid it a bit!
    Don't jump to conclusions! Yes, you should talk to the Dr. but you know that already. Sending hugs and prayers that all will be well and you just stressed your body a bit too much.

    get it checked.
    Swollen glands and burning in your chest......Head to your doctor....better to be safe....
    Hoping you feel better...keep us posted..
    Hugs, Nancy
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    #4
    Love you, Ayse :) I believe
    Love you, Ayse :) I believe that you did indeed overdo it & are possibly coming down with one of those dreaded summer colds! I've had this happen a few times - I'm actually starting to feel back to my normal self again, mentally, physically, emotionally, Im THRILLED with this -but, my body will remind me that I've gone through a year of hell and isn't feeling quite up to some things.
    *hugs hugs hugs* to you & feel better soon!
    heather
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #5
    It's a burden we all carry
    It's a burden we all carry with us and it is heavy. So how do we carry it? Do we pile it up top of our heads and walk proudly like a Caribbean woman? Do we clutch it tightly to our chests, crushed small and ragged? Maybe we lug it on our backs, all stooped over. I know I've switched it from place to place over the years. It's on my head, but not in my head at the moment.

    I am so proud of you, Ayse. You will get past this too. xoxoxoxo Lynn
  • TKMomma
    TKMomma Member Posts: 54
    #6
    Wow...six miles. Good for
    Wow...six miles. Good for u. Maybe you are dehydrated. Dehydration causes lots of symotoms. How hot was it. Maybe heat stroke symptoms. See ur dr. take care.
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #7
    TKMomma said:

    Wow...six miles. Good for
    Wow...six miles. Good for u. Maybe you are dehydrated. Dehydration causes lots of symotoms. How hot was it. Maybe heat stroke symptoms. See ur dr. take care.

    Please, please don't assume the worst my dear Ayse
    Like the other girls said--you may have overdone it. If you haven't made an appointment by now, stop reading this and go do it!

    It will be okay--and don't you dare break up with a wonderful guy who might be "the one". YOU ARE NOT DONE YET--by any means!

    Much love and tons of hugs, Renee
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #8
    That balance before dx that
    That balance before dx that was pretty easy to maintain, is now so difficult. It just seems like those scales automatically tip to the worst case scenario.

    Like everyone else said, see your docs, be sure they know what's going on. But I'm also betting it was a combination of too much for your still recovering body, heat, and possibly dehydration. Your body might also still be adjusting to the humidity of the east coast vs the dryness you left behind...antibiotics do funny things too.

    And don't you dare give up on your guy if god forbid you are ill again. If he is the keeper you think he is, then he'll want to be with you even through more illness. Also, think about how hurt he would be if you break up and later he somehow finds out you didn't tell him...seems to me that might hurt him a heck of a lot more.

    Please come back and let us know how you're doing.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • Aortus
    Aortus Member Posts: 967
    #9
    Gabe N Abby Mom said:

    That balance before dx that
    That balance before dx that was pretty easy to maintain, is now so difficult. It just seems like those scales automatically tip to the worst case scenario.

    Like everyone else said, see your docs, be sure they know what's going on. But I'm also betting it was a combination of too much for your still recovering body, heat, and possibly dehydration. Your body might also still be adjusting to the humidity of the east coast vs the dryness you left behind...antibiotics do funny things too.

    And don't you dare give up on your guy if god forbid you are ill again. If he is the keeper you think he is, then he'll want to be with you even through more illness. Also, think about how hurt he would be if you break up and later he somehow finds out you didn't tell him...seems to me that might hurt him a heck of a lot more.

    Please come back and let us know how you're doing.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    What Linda Said!
    If ANYTHING should ever be the matter (I think you just flat-**** overdid it, girl), don't you DARE give up on this guy.

    For a long time after her diagnosis, Moopy would sometimes tell me that I deserved a healthier, "better" wife, blah blah blah. I would tell her that I was doing my best to deserve the awesome wife I was married to. And when that didn't work, I got mad. This guy obviously knows exactly what is going on with your medical history, and he is even more obviously crazy about you. You need to plan on keeping him. If it doesn't work out in the long run, that's one thing. But he definitely loves you "AS IS."

    Love,
    Joe
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
    #10
    Aortus said:

    What Linda Said!
    If ANYTHING should ever be the matter (I think you just flat-**** overdid it, girl), don't you DARE give up on this guy.

    For a long time after her diagnosis, Moopy would sometimes tell me that I deserved a healthier, "better" wife, blah blah blah. I would tell her that I was doing my best to deserve the awesome wife I was married to. And when that didn't work, I got mad. This guy obviously knows exactly what is going on with your medical history, and he is even more obviously crazy about you. You need to plan on keeping him. If it doesn't work out in the long run, that's one thing. But he definitely loves you "AS IS."

    Love,
    Joe

    OMG.. you guys make me cry.
    OMG.. you guys make me cry. What beautiful advice. Ayse I couldn't agree more, this guy sure sounds like a keeper and he would be crushed if you were to push him away now, when you need him most. Take care of yourself this weekend and see if things improve, if not make sure after the holiday you make that appointment.

    Sending loving thoughts and prayers,
    Lorrie
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #11
    butterflylvr said:

    OMG.. you guys make me cry.
    OMG.. you guys make me cry. What beautiful advice. Ayse I couldn't agree more, this guy sure sounds like a keeper and he would be crushed if you were to push him away now, when you need him most. Take care of yourself this weekend and see if things improve, if not make sure after the holiday you make that appointment.

    Sending loving thoughts and prayers,
    Lorrie

    Joe thanks for that
    Joe thanks for that perspective sometimes I feel so bad for my husband getting a dud wife. he never complains, but I feel horrible for the pain I have caused him.
    Ayse you are lovely honest person. But remember its not always cancer and many times it is not. but freaking out is normal, especially when we have so much to live for and love our lives and the people in it.
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #12
    missrenee said:

    Please, please don't assume the worst my dear Ayse
    Like the other girls said--you may have overdone it. If you haven't made an appointment by now, stop reading this and go do it!

    It will be okay--and don't you dare break up with a wonderful guy who might be "the one". YOU ARE NOT DONE YET--by any means!

    Much love and tons of hugs, Renee

    Ayse please be careful at summer heat
    You definitely putt too much on yourself. Please take everything easy. You are less than 12 months out of Chemo and major surgeries, please be gentle to yourself. I mean physically you need nurture your body which was in treatment. I am really worried, I did not want to discourage you, however after taking 7 days of antibiotics you do need to rest, spend a day indoors, in cool conditions watching movie or reading a book. Please do not forget about summer heat, it alway makes me exhausted pretty easy.
    Hugs
    New Flower
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #13
    I hope you are feeling
    I hope you are feeling better today, Ayse. If you are truly concerned, see your doctor. You know your body better than anyone else. I will recommend that you keep your dreams and continue your planning. I am certain you have many, many years of joy coming your way. Don't waste too much time on the "what if's" and instead dwell on all the positives around you, like your new guy. From what you have told us, he is a keeper. Stay positive and balanced. I'm here for you. Love and hugs.
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    #14
    MyTurnNow said:

    I hope you are feeling
    I hope you are feeling better today, Ayse. If you are truly concerned, see your doctor. You know your body better than anyone else. I will recommend that you keep your dreams and continue your planning. I am certain you have many, many years of joy coming your way. Don't waste too much time on the "what if's" and instead dwell on all the positives around you, like your new guy. From what you have told us, he is a keeper. Stay positive and balanced. I'm here for you. Love and hugs.

    My advice to keep your mind from wandering
    Sex!

    Suzanne
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
    #15
    take it easy, girl!
    I agree with what others have said ... call and see your docs ... but it could totally be overdoing it. Linda above was very wise ... antibiotics make you sleepy and can do weird things ... your body is fighting an infection ... you've a totally huge humidity difference, different pollens in the air, the stress of moving (and while it's been good it's still stressful), all of that takes a toll on the body. You may have simply overdone and you're body is saying, "Hey, cool it!" You need to take a deep breath (or two or three) :) and do the wise things that everybody else has mentioned and take it one day at a time.

    All of us single gals out there would love to find the guy you've found. You'd be a fool, sister, to let him go. I totally agree with Aortus ... if he really is the guy you think he is ... you need to let him love and support you. Don't you dare let him go! Or I'll have to come out there and kick your butt myself! ;)

    Keep us posted on how you're doing and fill your mind with good thoughts ... remember all of the good things that have happened to you recently ... let those fill your mind and push all the fears out.

    Much love to you and prayers,
    dh
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #16
    Ayse sounds like you
    Ayse sounds like you overdone did it!! Check with your doc and remember You Are Not done!!! You have a lot of life to live and enjoy, please keep on enjoying. As far as this new gent is concerned, I think you would break his heart if you broke anything off. If he cares, he'll continue to care. Dont think for a moment about breaking anything off. As a matter of fact if things continue as they are, I'm going to be so bold as to ask for an invite to the wedding. :) Think positive beautiful lady and have fun. (((HUGS)))

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