Cancer Survivors Network

Today we noticed that my dad has developed a lump on his head, his left calf and foot are also very swollen, and he said he has periods where his lungs don't function at all - he literally can't breathe for a few seconds.

He is not looking good whatsoever. And I have a feeling the end is coming sooner than I had thought.

This is all so much for me to deal with. I'm emotionally and physically drained.

Between working full time, caring for him, and tending the house, I'm exhausted.

I've been having nightmares for the last week, as well, which is preventing *me* from getting any decent rest.

As horrible as this sounds, I just want it to all be over. I love my father immensely, but he's at the point where he's just suffering. He sleeps for maybe an hour per day and is in constant pain. He's not living life any longer. He's just...there. His agony is devastating to watch. And there's only so much I can do. I feel so helpless.

I know the end is coming. He's not going to make it through this.

Once this nightmare ends, I hope to God a new one doesn't begin.

*sigh*