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Nearing the end...?

DaughterDearest's picture
DaughterDearest
Posts: 22
Joined: Dec 2010

Today we noticed that my dad has developed a lump on his head, his left calf and foot are also very swollen, and he said he has periods where his lungs don't function at all - he literally can't breathe for a few seconds.

He is not looking good whatsoever. And I have a feeling the end is coming sooner than I had thought.

This is all so much for me to deal with. I'm emotionally and physically drained.

Between working full time, caring for him, and tending the house, I'm exhausted.

I've been having nightmares for the last week, as well, which is preventing *me* from getting any decent rest.

As horrible as this sounds, I just want it to all be over. I love my father immensely, but he's at the point where he's just suffering. He sleeps for maybe an hour per day and is in constant pain. He's not living life any longer. He's just...there. His agony is devastating to watch. And there's only so much I can do. I feel so helpless.

I know the end is coming. He's not going to make it through this.

Once this nightmare ends, I hope to God a new one doesn't begin.

*sigh*

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1613
Joined: Aug 2009

It is not horrible to want peace for your father. Toward the end I prayed for a quick, peaceful passing for my husband. That prayer was granted. It was a true blessing. I'll keep you in my prayers. Fay

ButterflyLake's picture
ButterflyLake
Posts: 44
Joined: May 2011

Hi: I'm in the same place, but with my mom. It is heart-breaking.

Having said that, during her cancer journey, I have been told twice before that she only had days to live. She made two miraculous recoveries, and is still here. It has been a roller coaster. This time feels different. She has even acknowledged (in a lucid moment)that she feels that her time to pass is coming soon.

I know she is suffering too. She is also in constant discomfort, and not sleeping either. She is in the care of a wonderful hospice house, and they are doing their best to keep her medicated. I believe that the best gift is to be kept out of pain. I just wish that the darn meds would be more effective. It IS agonizing.

I pray that your father makes a miraculous recovery. Barring that, I pray that he makes a peaceful transition, and that you find peace that surpasses understanding.

I tell myself frequently that despite the grinding stress of the caregiving, day-to-day life will not always be this way. It keeps me going.

Warm regards and keeping you in my prayers, from one daughter to another.

Faithful_Angel's picture
Faithful_Angel
Posts: 88
Joined: May 2011

Oh wow, Im so sorry i didn't respond earlier to your post. We are such mirror images all through this. My dad isn't doing so well either. But Know that Im here and I understand some of what you are going through. If you need anything day or night Im most likely here or my facebook page. If you would like we can exchange email addresses or even phone numbers.

Just know you are not alone, unfortunately you have alot of "brothers, and sisters" now only being unfortunate because of the reason we've all become family...This dreaded beast that takes the most precious thing from us. Our loved ones.

If you need anything just shout.

Thinking of you and sending much love ♥

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