Jun 24, 2011 - 2:31 pm
I've learned alot lately as a caregiver, Im at the end of my rope right now. I haven't been eating or sleeping. I'm crying alot. I don't even take time to think about anything but my dad. I've stopped everything else in life.
My dad has turned against me mean and hateful. I know this is a normal part of dying but it doesn't mean it hurts any less. I've tried to talk to him and there is no reasoning with him. He's so Mad and angry and mean to me while he's nice to everyone else. The doctors, the nurses, social workers, chaplain, even my mom. Me he sees me as dirt.
I had a talk with my mom today and I'm on the brink of leaving and letting her try to deal with him, So much has been put on me and I don't want to make things worse. Im trying to decide what is the best thing for him. If I am making my dad miserable It may be time for a change.
Temporary solution, Im going to a hotel for two days starting sunday which happens to be my birthday. Let him think, and let me figure out the next step. Im also thinking about talking to my grandparents, in case things don't improve I might go back "home" to ohio and stay with them while I get arrangements made for a house for my mom and I and my dad if he survives long enough...*this was the plan for my mom and I anyway*..
I'm at a complete loss and so distraught..