Jun 22, 2011 - 11:30 pm
Since the passing of my beloved husband, I have had many reflective moments, as I am sure many of you have also had. One reflection has been how he always signed notes, letters and cards to me, "yours forever and ever". Weeks after he passed, I was very confused as to how this "life" and "death" thing works. And I suppose I was bitter in my grief. My thoughts were, "a lot of good it did for him to sign that way" or "there is no forever and ever".
A few days ago, it occurred to me that he will love me forever and ever. Forever is not a "physical" word, but more a "spiritual" word. When we said our vows, we vowed to love until death do us part. But who dwells on that on that most joyous of days? Who dwells on that while they are beginning a life together, home and family?
You know how many folks will tell you things like, "you will always carry him/her in your heart, they will always be with you"? And yes, that is a lovely sentiment, but when you are hurting so deeply, those words just don't really have meaning. What I thought back in those early days,"I don't want him in my proverbial heart, I want him by my side"!
Two days ago, marked the six month of his passing into his eternal life. Yes, eternal, as in "forever". So, I was hit with the revelation that, yes indeed, he will love me forever and ever!
I pray and hope that you are all healing and beginning your new journeys in peace and courage!