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Need Some Encouragement and Support, Sisters

missbabsonmars's picture
missbabsonmars
Posts: 29
Joined: Jun 2010

Hello - I am having a day - my brain has taken over and I'm freaking out. I know what it's about. In January I found out that the endometrial cancer had metastasized to the lungs. I have been receiving chemo. once a month; my 6th treatment will be this Friday. The following week I will have a CT scan and a PET scan, which will let me know where I stand. The CT scan at 3 months showed that the cancer had decreased.

In addition to the chemo. I am on doing the anti-cancer diet (vegan, no-sugar, you know the drill), as well as yoga, supplements, exercise, strong support network, spiritual program, positive thinking, etc. In other words, I'm doing everything I possibly can (that is supported by research) to address my disease. I have every reason to expect good news. Most days I'm okay, but today I woke up with a case of the "what ifs?"

I have so much to be grateful for, including some of the gifts that I've been given because I have cancer. some days are just harder than others.

Babs

Rewriter's picture
Rewriter
Posts: 494
Joined: Dec 2009

Based on your previous scan and on the complementary diet, exercise, and spiritual programs that you are following, your next scan is likely to show even more improvement. Yet, someone who has received a cancer diagnosis generally has some trouble completely dismissing the "what if"s. I'll bet that most of the women here can empathize with what you are going through.

I still have some terrible days, despite my knowing that I have so much to be grateful for. They come with the territory, but they pass; and I now have more good days than bad.

I'm sending you a hug, and I sincerely hope that tomorrow is a better day.

Jill

sleem
Posts: 92
Joined: Feb 2010

You have had so much these past weeks. Perhaps you have a 'chill-out' routine to go into. I watch movies that all have good endings. That is what works for me a while. I also avoid news casts, & newspapers. Sounds crazy I know, but it is my tuning out for a while. This is a short escape for me; but, it does get my mind off the 'run'on my brain & when it will not stop with those 'what ifs'.

Perhaps knowing that your sisters like me have these days, hours, & too. I've allowed myself my days like this & know it now is part of the living with my disease. We are doing everything we can to work through each day. Know that we suppport you.

Northwoodsgirl
Posts: 201
Joined: Oct 2009

Yes, many of us have or have had days where we just breakdown and are overwhelmed with the what ifs. The fact that you acknowledge your feelings is the first step to having a better day tomorrow or the next day. You have been though so much and have done all the suggested lifestyle changes. What more could one do? I sure hope that you are feeling better. It is so hard what you and all of us sisters are going through. (((Hugs)))
Lori

daisy366's picture
daisy366
Posts: 1493
Joined: Mar 2009

I think this is normal. I know I have to fight off the "what ifs" occasionally. Sometimes I get mad at myself for having them. It's a scary road we are on.

I'm impressed with all you are doing. Can't beat that regime. Keep on going - one moment at a time making a conscious decision to be well.

Blessings to you. Mary Ann

missbabsonmars's picture
missbabsonmars
Posts: 29
Joined: Jun 2010

As you know, some days are just harder than others. Living one day at a time is not easy. I want to know the future NOW! I want to believe that I am going to be around for a few years. I want to know that I will be able to go back to work in some capacity. I want to know that all of the integrative therapies I am doing are actually working.

I think of this quote often:

I must go on. I can't go on. I'll go on.
— Samuel Beckett

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