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fear

sue5749
Posts: 170
Joined: Dec 2010

Hi, I come here every nite. My husband and I have been crying, he saids that he is so scared, that he is going to die. I told him that this is normal, but NEVER ever give up! He saids he won't. We need all the prayers we can get! He has lost so much weight and this is scaring him, he lost another 2 lbs since last week! He is going for a biopsy this Wed. I think that is making him scared. Sue

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Sue many can word this so much better than I can. But I will try, My hubby Greg dx Jan 2009 had Chemo and Rads he lost 55 pounds. It has been very hard and we (he) never gives up. We find things we can do and like to do to help take our minds off what is going on. I read and tell him jokes all the time cause I think laughter helps. Sometimes we even let our selves cry. We think ever with all this we are still lucky, we love and had been loved. Not one day goes by that is easy, trust me we know this. We just find ways to remember we are still here.We still love each other. We still care about others.
I don't know how to tell you how to feel. I just know that each day we get up we smile and say we love each other. Each night when all is said and done we still kiss each other and say I love you.
Jennie

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

I am a 24 year survivor of cancer and know fear big time as most do on this site. It is totally normal to feel this way, especially when it's all so new and then at all the checkups and biopsies, waiting for test results and to hear what the doctor has to say about new symptoms and so on. Hugs, it isn't easy, that's for sure.

You two have each other and it looks like your husband is good at sharing his feelings with you and that is wonderful because many men will shut down and not admit fear but to admit it is very good for him, and you. Pretending you aren't afraid doesn't help, it just makes those who are afraid and share it feel as if they shouldn't share and an unhealthy cycle continues so I am glad you two can talk honestly about your feelings.

I don't know anything about his cancer but I do know that prayer works. I had group prayers going on for me and I know for a fact that it produced a miracle for me and there is always hope that intervention is a sincere possibility, I believe that.

Have you contacted your church and other churches around and request prayer chains pray for him? The power of prayer is great but group prayer is just amazing, I am a big believer in it. You can also buy, from many churches, prayer shawls that the groups knit in the chain, I have one of them and it is really special - like a hug from God when you put it on is how I can explain it. I write openly like this with you because you both seem like believers so I thought you would understand.

Do come to this site often and share your feelings and those of your husbands, many caring and knowledgeable people will respond I know, like Zinnie here. A kind and caring person indeed.

All the best to you and your husband. Continue to pray, contact prayer chains and if you don't have a good grief counsellor or psycologist who deals with loss of health and trauma, or even a minister you both trust to chat with, I would strongly suggest you seek that out as well. I speak with a psychologist now and then to discuss feelings I have sometimes even after all of these years.

You both are very lucky to be able to communicate through all of this, it will help you both more than you know.

Blessings,

Bluerose

sue5749
Posts: 170
Joined: Dec 2010

Thanks so much for taking the time for responding and the very kind words! My husband does feel like talking every once in awhile, but not that much. It has been so quiet here. He has a track and he gets very stuffy and I will change it quite a few times a day. It is just very hard to see him suffer and not to eat or drink anything. Sue

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

It is a real roller coaster ride. It is always hard when you are waiting for tests and test results. I agree that both laughing and crying is good. I can understand how hard it is to see him ill. We really want to fix them but can't. Hold on tight to each other. Hopefully the biopsy will go well. Prayers and hugs, Fay

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