Jun 08, 2011 - 2:31 pm
Without going into a big story, suffice it to say that I've spent 5 weeks in the hospital, have had 8 or 9 (I loose count) operations and "procedures" since January of last year, took chemo every other week for 6 months, and am now working on FINALLY getting over my (hopefully) LAST operation, which was hernia repair back in the middle of January of this year. It's been a HELLUVA long road for this hillbilly, but not as long as others have survived.
Now I'm sitting here, back to work and fairly active again, dealing with some minor pain from the residuals of my hernia and still a little fatigued, but otherwise fully "back in the saddle again". Except..... Now I'm a little concerned about some POST-cancer aspects.
Like most, I had my "wild oats" period after high school and during college. Drinking on weekends was one of my favorite past times, but after I started working in law enforcement, and after I got married, I practically "dried up" to nearly a tea totler. I would have the occasional beer, or glass of wine, but could count on one hand how many times in the past 15 years I had a genuine "happy thought" while drinking.
I find now, however, that more and more, when I have time off and nothing to do and nowhere to go, I enjoy cracking the top on a bottle of whiskey and getting a good "happy thought" going. I don't drink every day, and I don't "crave" it as if I'm thirsty for it, so I don't really think I'm on the path to anything so drastic as alcoholism, but looking back on my lifestyle PRE-cancer and my new "near-normal" lifestyle, I'm seeing this "new me" and it's making me a little nervous. I know that there's nothing wrong with the occasional drink, but is this going to develop into a problem?
And, knowing that I'm talking to a WEALTH of experience here in this sanctuary on the web, I'm wondering if anyone else has faced this, and what YOUR experience is. Is this normal for folks who have "walked through the valley of the shadow of death"? Should I be worried about myself?
Just curious if anyone out there has already walked down this path and has any wisdom to share....