Cancer Survivors Network

I have been caring for my mother for the past 6+ months. She was being treated for bleeding ulcers and side effects such as low blood pressure, low hemoglobin levels, etc since August. Three weeks ago we received the news that she has stage IV stomach cancer with several lesions on her liver. The oncologist suggested chemotherapy treatments to help stop the bleeding issues going on in her stomach - but the cancer over all would not be able to be cured.

A big issue we are faced with is my mothers mental status. In the past few months she is all over the board mentally. She was being treated for early stages of dementia but the oncologist feels that the cancer could be making things much worse for her. Its almost like she has multiple personalities. She has been in and out of the hospital severl times in the past few months and hospital stays are REALLY bad for her, she tries to leave, is delusional and has to be medicated.

So far she has had one day of IV chemotherapy treatment and is taking an Xeloda orally. this was just the first step in a 3 step treatment. She has already landed in the hospital due to stomach pain, weakness, vomitting, dehydration.

As I mentioned I have been caring for her, I also have 3 small children including an infant. I just can not continue to provide care for her. Its not fair to her because she doesn't get any peace in a house full of children and I also can't subject my young children to watching their grandmother waste away.

Besides rambling on with my story I do have some questions (if you've made it this far). She is currently in the hospital and I have decided I can not take her back her once released. If she was physically unable to walk she would be approved to go to a rehab facility covered by her Medicare - however what if she is too ill or mentally unstable to be at home? Where do people go that are going through chemotherapy treatments if they do not have someone able to care for them? Assisted living, nursing home? I just don't know whats best for her and would welcome anyones advice that has been through a similar situation.