The other shoe has dropped...it's back

MAJW
MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
in Breast Cancer #1
I'm losing it here....two years out with triple negative....and it's back....found an egg size lump right above my clavicle on Friday..seemed to appear over night...been having some breast pain and other issues for several months...saw my oncologist today...I was hoping it was a swollen clavicle lymph node from the oral surgery two weeks ago....wrong...it's a tumor..so scans and you name it this Friday and biopsy next week...won't know what type until pathology is back...if it's the bc that has spread or a different type....treatment drugs will depend on pathology but here I go with chemo and rads again....but not to the boob....

My first sobbing words to my oncologist..."How do I tell my husband and kids again, that their world is turned upside down yet again....?"
I'm digging deep for strength,courage and my faith to get me through this ...again....such a blow....it's so hard...my kids...my husband, my grands...seeing what this does to them....that's what breaks my heart....

I'm digging deep..
Nancy
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Comments

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #2
    so so sorry to hear
    so so sorry to hear this....!


    Denise
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #3
    Nancy
    so sorry to hear it's back. No one wants to ever hear those words. Telling your family will be hard but they supported you before and they will again! You are a survivor and can do this. I will keep you in my thoughts as you go through the journey again.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #4
    Sweet, sweet Nancy~ I can
    Sweet, sweet Nancy~ I can feel your heartache and fear~ of course you are digging deep. We are right alongside you; lean on us as we face this together. If I could take away the anguish and the difficulty of telling your family, of course I would. I am borrowing Christmas Girl's magic wand ( I know she won't mind) and waving it frantically that this tumor will be cleanly removed, that you respond well to whatever treatment plan your medical team comes up with for you. The fact that it came up out of seemingly no-where~ I fervently hope, wish and pray that it will be dealt with just as swiftly.

    You are enveloped by all of the courage, strength and love the Kindreds have to offer.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • jessiesmom1
    jessiesmom1 Member Posts: 915 Member
    #5
    Not AGAIN?!
    Oh Nancy, I am so terribly sorry to hear this news. I also have tnbc and this kind of post scares the s*%# out of me. I can only imagine what you must be going through. I also have 2 children (now 18 and almost 21)and know how such news would rock their world. Please keep us posted when you get the scan and pathology reports. Perhaps we should reserve the Pink Bus for you. I will be sure to wait in front of my house for its arrival.

    IRENE
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #6
    I am so very sorry, Nancy...
    And can only barely imagine all you're processing at this time. Words are not coming easily...

    Sending HOPES for the best possible test results. And prayers for inner strength as you face a second battle.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #7
    The most dreaded words "it's back"
    Nancy,

    we all live with that fear, though we try to tuck it far, far away.

    So we can all relate to what you must be going through. I hope
    you find the strength and determination to gear up for battle again.
    As chen would say it's time to get your Grrrrrr on!

    I hope and wish that is is a less aggressive cancer... and that you
    will triumph over this once again. Every day counts, as we all know.
    So fight for the beautiful days to come. Your family will hopefully
    be there to support you, just as we will.

    Love,
    Ayse
  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    #8
    Im so sorry. Such heartbreak
    Im so sorry. Such heartbreak for you and your family. They will get you through it again. Prayers are with you all. Bless you all for strength. Katz
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    #9
    Nancy,
    I am so sorry about your news. I'm glad that you are digging in. We are all here for you and so very many prayers will be whispered tonight for you.

    sue
  • renee616
    renee616 Member Posts: 181
    #10
    sbmly53 said:

    Nancy,
    I am so sorry about your news. I'm glad that you are digging in. We are all here for you and so very many prayers will be whispered tonight for you.

    sue

    Hi
    I'm so sorry you are
    Hi
    I'm so sorry you are scared & facing the possibility of doing everything over. But Your family will see you through it! I know its most of our worst fears, telling our families....The first time...much less again...But I know they would battle the battle with you as long as it takes to save your life. Never lose Hope & Faith! lots of hugs & prayers for you to do what you need to do.
    Renee H
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #11
    Oh Nancy,
    I am praying now that this is not malignant and it can be removed completely and swiftly! I will continue to pray that you are covered with His strength to get you through the next couple of weeks.

    Sending hugs of comfort,

    Sylvia
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #12
    :-(
    Oh Nancy I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I want you to know that when my cancer came back for round two it was in pretty much the same area as yours in the chest wall near the clavicle in the sentinel node and it too showed up over night, that was in 1998. It was not removed surgically which drove me crazy but they wanted it to stay so they could use it as a marker to see if the chemo was killing it which it did. I want to give you hope that it is doable and i wish you all the best! Please keep us updated!

    RE
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #13
    Nancy
    I am really sorry to hear your news. I am sure that this is a really hard thing to have to tell your family but they will be there for you again. I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending you positive energy to help you through.

    Hugs,
    Georgia
  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
    #14
    RE said:

    :-(
    Oh Nancy I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I want you to know that when my cancer came back for round two it was in pretty much the same area as yours in the chest wall near the clavicle in the sentinel node and it too showed up over night, that was in 1998. It was not removed surgically which drove me crazy but they wanted it to stay so they could use it as a marker to see if the chemo was killing it which it did. I want to give you hope that it is doable and i wish you all the best! Please keep us updated!

    RE

    No, no, no, no
    Oh, my, my heart is still beating wildly and I'm shaking. If I feel like this, multiply it a thousand plus and then I guess I can imagine how you're feeling. I'm so sorry to hear this news. And it makes me mad. Really mad. It makes me want to be on your team and help you get your Grrr going.

    You have my energy and best everything being sent your way.

    xoxo
    Victoria
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #15
    RE said:

    :-(
    Oh Nancy I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I want you to know that when my cancer came back for round two it was in pretty much the same area as yours in the chest wall near the clavicle in the sentinel node and it too showed up over night, that was in 1998. It was not removed surgically which drove me crazy but they wanted it to stay so they could use it as a marker to see if the chemo was killing it which it did. I want to give you hope that it is doable and i wish you all the best! Please keep us updated!

    RE

    Nancy
    Nancy,
    I am very sorry to hear your news. My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope for the best outcome possible for your test and pray for miracle and benign tumor.
    Sending you a big hug
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    #16
    ladyg said:

    Nancy
    I am really sorry to hear your news. I am sure that this is a really hard thing to have to tell your family but they will be there for you again. I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending you positive energy to help you through.

    Hugs,
    Georgia

    Oh no
    Dear Nancy-
    I'm so sorry you have to go through this again - all of it - telling your family, facing further treatment, being frighened and angry. I'm sending prayers your way.

    Suzanne
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #17
    on the list
    You and your family are on my prayer list.
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    #18
    Nancy... I am so sorry to
    Nancy... I am so sorry to hear the news. My thoughts and prayer are with you and your family. We are here for you always.
    Ines
  • grams2jc
    grams2jc Member Posts: 756
    #19
    Oh no!
    So sorry to hear what you are going through, keeping my fingers and toes crossed that it is a benign lump that is just here to make you crazy.

    Praying for you and for miraculous results of your further testing,

    Jennifer
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #20
    Oh Nancy so sorry to hear
    Oh Nancy so sorry to hear this. Prayers going to N.C. specifically for you!! Please keep us updated.
  • BunnyJane
    BunnyJane Member Posts: 213
    #21
    natly15 said:

    Oh Nancy so sorry to hear
    Oh Nancy so sorry to hear this. Prayers going to N.C. specifically for you!! Please keep us updated.

    So sorry-
    Nancy:

    So sorry to hear your news and I am hoping that the pathology indicates that this is a benign lump. Sending prayers to you.

    Jane

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