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BAD NEWS FoR THE FAMILY

linz1982's picture
linz1982
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 2011

As some of you know my dad had a bacteria tisue eating infection. well they did surgeriess and its all gone. My dad has now not ate in over a week. The Dr. said chemo isnt a option for my dad because he has lost so much weight and is so weak that one treatment of chemo and it could kill him. Well we found out yesterday that they cant put a feding tube in because he is so far wasted away that it would feed the cancer and do him no good. Without being able to have chemo or a feeding tube, he has maybe a week to live. My dad has been in the hospital for 5 weeks. We are bringing him home to pass away. He knows he is dying but i think he is just waiting for our ok to give up so he can pass on. I have no strength left in me. Feel like i am losing it. I dont know what to do. I'm not ready to say goodbye.

lekkerone
Posts: 199
Joined: Jan 2011

I am so sorry that you are losing your dad. When my mom quit eating and was dying, I spent as much time as I could by her side. I talked a lot to her about memories even when she didn't respond. I usually took her hand so she knew someone was there. Tell your dad that you love him as often as you can. Tell him it's okay to let go and that you will miss him but will be okay.

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

Sorry to hear about your dad and I understand what you are feeling. My brother was in the Hospice House and I went to visit him everyday for 4 days and kept praying that the doctors were wrong and he would pull out of it. During my visits my sister, my daughter and I would talk with him about all the good times we had and how much he had helped all of us. Finally on the 5th day I realized he would never get better and he was only holding on because we could not let go. That night all 5 of us took turns, privately, telling him how much we loved him and we told him it was okay to let go whenever he was ready. The next morning as I was driving in to visit him I received a call that he was gone and I know in my heart that he only held on until he knew we would be okay. Saying goodbye was one of the most painful things I have ever had to do.

No one is ever ready to say goodbye, especially to a parent. Please spend as much time with him as you can and talk to him, hold his hand and let him know how much you love him.

My best to you and your family.
Glenna

Ex_Rock_n_Roller's picture
Ex_Rock_n_Roller
Posts: 267
Joined: Mar 2011

I don't think you can say it any better than Lekkerone and Glenna did; they speak wisdom.

mamacita5's picture
mamacita5
Posts: 254
Joined: May 2010

My heart breaks for you. You are a good daughter who loves her daddy. Hold his hand, be with him, and let him go if he is ready. My mother passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2000. From the day of diagnosis to the day she passed away was 6 days. We brought her home and those who mattered came to tell her how much they loved her. The night before she passed away, I whispered in her ear that it was okay to go, that we would all be fine, and how much we all loved her. She passed away the following morning. We were with her and it was not scary at all. It was peaceful. Take care sweetie.

grannylove
Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2011

and prayers coming your way. It is very hard to let go of a loved one. Cherish and remember the memories with your Dad. He will feel the warmth of peace and love from his family. I pray that you all feel God's touch during this difficult time.
Cheryl

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