OT - I need some input

Rague
Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
edited June 2011 in Breast Cancer #1
Could I please get some input. This morning something happened that I'm not sure what i should try to do about or just leave it alone.

At 6:15, someone was banging on the door - I was going to ignore it but she kept on and I thought that maybe there was something wrong and a child needed help so I answered it. The woman was a neighbor but not one I'm friends with. She asked me if I could give her a ride to work because she had lost her keys if she gave me gas money - sure. When we got to the point where you have to go one way or the other I asked her which way. She told me to go to a package store that's almost on the corner. My thought was that somebody else was picking her up there. Nope - they "should have been open because it's not a holiday" so she wanted to go to a Mom/Pop grocery that 's not far so we went there. They don't open til 7. So we went down to a convience store the is open 24 hrs. She went in and came back out 'hot' because she "couldn't buy anything before 7" so we waited. She went back in at 7 and came out with a bottle of hootch(alcohol). I backed out and she saw the sun and finally realized that it was morning - she thought it was evening. By the time we got back to her house she was thinking again it was evening.

I'm not sure what to do - her Son is supposed to mow her yard this weekend - do I try to talk to him. I don't know. Thoughts please.

Susan

Comments

  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #2
    I would tell the son what
    I would tell the son what you have told us. Her behavior is not normal and you don't know if this is something new or not. Just tell him you are concerned and wanted to let him know.
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #3
    CypressCynthia said:

    I would tell the son what
    I would tell the son what you have told us. Her behavior is not normal and you don't know if this is something new or not. Just tell him you are concerned and wanted to let him know.

    My concern about talking
    My concern about talking with Son is that I don't know anything about the family. She lives alone - her boyfrined died almost a year ago of a heart attack sitting in their car in the yard. I know the FD/Rescue (saw them) has been at the house a couple/few times since then.
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #4
    Rague said:

    My concern about talking
    My concern about talking with Son is that I don't know anything about the family. She lives alone - her boyfrined died almost a year ago of a heart attack sitting in their car in the yard. I know the FD/Rescue (saw them) has been at the house a couple/few times since then.

    If it were me, I would
    If it were me, I would follow CC's plan. If it were my husband, he would watch for a while and then decide....not much help for you. Let us know what happens.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #5
    Gabe N Abby Mom said:

    If it were me, I would
    If it were me, I would follow CC's plan. If it were my husband, he would watch for a while and then decide....not much help for you. Let us know what happens.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    There is no Husband or SO -
    There is no Husband or SO - SO died almost a year ago. If it were me, I'd want somebody to tell Hubby or Son (or if Hubby to tell me or Son). If it were my parents I'd have wanted someone to tell me (My IL's too but they were deceased before we married 35 yrs ago). I don't know anything about them - family dynamics - so not sure.
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    #6
    Talk to the son.
    Doesn't matter if you know the family, she brought you into it when she knocked on the door at 630 in the morning. Her son may not know the extent of her problem and if there have been 911 vehicles at her home in the last year and she didn't even know whether it was day or night, this is most likely not an isolated incident.

    Thank God she couldn't find her keys, chances are she was still lit from the night before and I am sure you made it a lot safer for people on the road going to work at that time in the morning. Sounds like she needs some help!

    ~Carol
  • jessiesmom1
    jessiesmom1 Member Posts: 915 Member
    #7
    Your neighbor
    I would like to echo what CypressCynthia said. Please talk to your neighbor's son when you have the opportunity. He should be aware of his mother's erratic behavior. I don't think it matters at all that you do not know him. You might be giving him information about his mother of which he is not aware. You should probably get some contact information from him in case something like this happens again. If you think she becomes a danger to herself than you might consider notifying Adult Protective Services in your county. I believe we have an obligation to watch out for each other. After all, it takes a village. . . .

    IRENE
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #8
    I would try to
    tell her son first. If he does not respond or seem concerned then I would call whatever branch of social services you have available to handle this type of situation. It is better to be proactive than to do nothing and just hope for the best.

    Hugs,
    Georgia
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #9
    Susan....what an untenable
    Susan....what an untenable position you were put in. I have an idea this will NOT come as a surprise to her son...and if it does, he will no doubt be shocked and handle it as best he can. And if it is NOT a surprise....he will probably also handle it. We Kindreds tend to lead with our hearts, don't we???? No doubt we always will, too!

    Her son needs to know~his mom could be in serious trouble, emotionally and physically. You are not even asking him to fix it~ but he needs to be apprised.


    ((((((hugs))))

    Chen♥
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #10
    chenheart said:

    Susan....what an untenable
    Susan....what an untenable position you were put in. I have an idea this will NOT come as a surprise to her son...and if it does, he will no doubt be shocked and handle it as best he can. And if it is NOT a surprise....he will probably also handle it. We Kindreds tend to lead with our hearts, don't we???? No doubt we always will, too!

    Her son needs to know~his mom could be in serious trouble, emotionally and physically. You are not even asking him to fix it~ but he needs to be apprised.


    ((((((hugs))))

    Chen♥

    I would tell her son too.
    I would tell her son too. He may have no idea that there is something going on with his Mother. I hope that she will be alright.


    Sue :)
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #11
    Ritzy said:

    I would tell her son too.
    I would tell her son too. He may have no idea that there is something going on with his Mother. I hope that she will be alright.


    Sue :)

    I say..
    Spill the beans to her son....she made it your business when she pounded on your door, in the wee hours of the morn...But the son could also go on the defense....be prepared for that, just in case...sometimes people hate be confronted or reminded about a situation they are very aware of....sometimes out of shame, etc....but at least you can rest assured, you did the right thing!

    Good luck and let us know ...
    Hugs, Nancy
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #12
    MAJW said:

    I say..
    Spill the beans to her son....she made it your business when she pounded on your door, in the wee hours of the morn...But the son could also go on the defense....be prepared for that, just in case...sometimes people hate be confronted or reminded about a situation they are very aware of....sometimes out of shame, etc....but at least you can rest assured, you did the right thing!

    Good luck and let us know ...
    Hugs, Nancy

    I agree that you should tell
    I agree that you should tell her son. So sorry you were put in that position.
    Good luck and let us know how it went.
    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • skipper54
    skipper54 Member Posts: 936 Member
    #13
    Lighthouse_7 said:

    I agree that you should tell
    I agree that you should tell her son. So sorry you were put in that position.
    Good luck and let us know how it went.
    Hugs,
    Wanda

    Bad situation
    but I would talk to her son. She brought you in to this knocking on your door and you just might save her life.
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #14
    Didn't go good
    Well - I saw "Son" this afternoon - tried to talk to him - didn't work at all. He seems to have as many 'problems' as she has. Noonish today (Sunday) and he was definately either 'high' or drunk or both.

    We are a very small rural 'town' so not sure what I can do but will try next week.

    Thank you all for your input! I tried.

    Susan
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    #15
    Vote to tell the son...
    I agree to tell the son so he can approach the situation. Good luck.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #16
    Rague said:

    Didn't go good
    Well - I saw "Son" this afternoon - tried to talk to him - didn't work at all. He seems to have as many 'problems' as she has. Noonish today (Sunday) and he was definately either 'high' or drunk or both.

    We are a very small rural 'town' so not sure what I can do but will try next week.

    Thank you all for your input! I tried.

    Susan

    Susan...
    My advice....you tried....let it go...some people don't want help...this very well could be the case case with this family....personally, I wouldn't interact with them again...so many unstable, nut cases out there...you never know what people are capable of....especially those with alcohol and drug addiction...and I wouldn't answer my door again, to her...if she persists....call law enforcement....let them handle it....some times " no good deed, goes unpunished"......

    You tried...
    Nancy
  • smilingdeb
    smilingdeb Member Posts: 50
    #17
    MAJW said:

    Susan...
    My advice....you tried....let it go...some people don't want help...this very well could be the case case with this family....personally, I wouldn't interact with them again...so many unstable, nut cases out there...you never know what people are capable of....especially those with alcohol and drug addiction...and I wouldn't answer my door again, to her...if she persists....call law enforcement....let them handle it....some times " no good deed, goes unpunished"......

    You tried...
    Nancy

    Susan
    I agree with Nancy 100%. My concern is the son. Is he a young teenager that looks older then he is and picking up on his mom alcohol/drug addiction because he is around it or she is giving it to him? For the son I would try and find out how old he is and if he is not 17 or older I would call CPS just for the safety of the child. Other than that next time call the law enforcement like Nancy said and let them handle it.

    Deb
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #18
    Did your best
    By telling the son you did your best. I do not know whether APS or CPS (adult protective services child ps) will be able to act on your call but at least they can be advised should a call come in while she is soused. Should she come knocking on your door or worse yet come approach you while in the yard. You can remind her that you are not a taxi. Remember she lied to you saying she needed a ride to work. If outside get in your car quickly with an excuse of I have to see my lawyer or I have and appointment with the prosecutor or police. That will scare the begebuzzz out of her and she will unlikely approach you again.

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