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Keeping vigil and lighting the candle for Steve update

UKLady's picture
UKLady
Posts: 85
Joined: Jan 2011

Steve is still holding onto this world,the nurses persuaded me to shop for groceries yesterday as the vigil is much longer they than expected.It was very strange to step out into the world again after ten days in the house almost alone except for a nurse.

I have tried to post and thank you all several times-but I see my Safari OS on iPad doesn't want to comply so forgive me- I have tried to keep you updated. Your prayers and comments have been so supportive, you really can't imagine.

I am just not sure what to post for those who are a close step behind me. I have had challenges with family who have been absent, challenges with his care, but I am trying to look after myself and am thus far resting as best I can.

I can say this though-Steve is not in any pain and looks very peaceful-he is in his own home and is not alone. That is what he wanted, and that is what he gets :-)

My very best wishes to you all

Lyndsey
Caregiver and Wife to Steve -Stage 4 lung cancer

Noellesmom
Posts: 1306
Joined: Aug 2010

You were on my mind this morning and I was glad to see this post from you.

You and Steve are in my thoughts and prayers, Lyndsey.

Hugs.

mswijiknyc's picture
mswijiknyc
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

Steve and Patrick are very much alike. They just don't want to leave the amazing women that they married.

Thanks for updating as I have been thinking of you.

Loves and Hugs,
April

tanker sgv's picture
tanker sgv
Posts: 128
Joined: Nov 2010

So glad to hear as I have been wondering how you guys were doing. It is amazing how unique and personal everyones journey into the peaceful abyss of the afterlife can be. Your streangth is an example to all who will follow in your path of honoring their loved ones wishes. I know how strange the world becomes when you leave the house for the first time in weeks, but sometimes showing our dieing loved one we can continue on with our lives is all they need to see to let go. I changed and bathed my mother then went to the grocery store after 2weeks at her bedside, when I returned home I kissed her and a few hours later she left to join my dad and her parents on the otherside. So I understand your position and respect you greatly for it

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1616
Joined: Aug 2009

Thanks for the update. My iPad gives me headaches posting as well. Then sometimes it posts the same thing twice. Sadly, some of us can imagine how important this support can be. Just know we are here thinking about you and holding both of you in our prayers. Post when you feel like it not because you think you should. I'm glad you are getting rest. Blessings, Fay

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

I have been wondering how Steve and you were doing, so thank you very much for the update. I just wish there was something I could do or say for you and Steve both. Please continue to take care and know that we are here for you. Hugs.

karenbeth's picture
karenbeth
Posts: 194
Joined: Sep 2010

...to hear from you, I was wondering how things were. I'm glad he's peaceful and not in pain. I am several steps ahead of you, and I will always look back on that time when my love was at home with me as precious. All the best to you,
Karen

UKLady's picture
UKLady
Posts: 85
Joined: Jan 2011

Steve passed just after 4am this morning to find his own place in the universe. I am still waiting for the wave to engulf me- and its been a long two weeks in continuous care with Hospice.

We had some outstanding nurses with us-to whom I probably owe my sanity right now.They prepared me for each step along the way. Steve and I had some wonderful quality time during these last days, so I feel so blessed for this.

I am also blessed to have people like yourselves to communicate with-but for now I need some much needed rest since Steve was ill for all of our 17 month marriage except for three blissful weeks at the beginning.

Lyndsey

coping in CA
Posts: 20
Joined: May 2011

Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Be kind to yourself.

Shari

tanker sgv's picture
tanker sgv
Posts: 128
Joined: Nov 2010

He will be greated with open arms as he has found his place to be in peace and without pain or worry. I send my sincere condolences to you & your family. Don't worry about the waves of emotions as now is your time to rest as is Steve's. I shed a tear and a smile for you guys, he was a lucky man to have the love and support you gave him and you are a lucky women to have had the love of a man envigerate such compassion within your heart. Get some rest as I'm sure you need it, just know now you can let down your gaurd as it is Steve who will be watching over and protecting YOU.

karenbeth's picture
karenbeth
Posts: 194
Joined: Sep 2010

I'm so glad you had this peaceful time together. Hospice nurses are wonderful and I will always feel so grateful for the hospice program.
Take good care of yourself, and come back and let us know how you are.

Karen

Noellesmom
Posts: 1306
Joined: Aug 2010

Lyndsey, you will be in my prayers and thoughts.

Lots of hugs.

mr steve
Posts: 286
Joined: Sep 2009

Lyndsey

Prayers +++ and {{{HUGS}}}

Steve

mswijiknyc's picture
mswijiknyc
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

Loves and Hugs

April

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Lyndsey, you know my heart is with you.
love and hugs always,
Jennie

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Lyndsey, you have my sincere condolences and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please rest now. Many hugs.

lovingwifedeb's picture
lovingwifedeb
Posts: 184
Joined: Aug 2010

How much can our hearts take anyway? Take care of yourself in the coming days... Months...

Bob, my husband passed this morning. I truly ache for myself and everyone in the cancer arena who suffers it's affects.

Peace to you and your family.

Deb

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1616
Joined: Aug 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there were words to help, but I know there are not. Sorry, too, that I didn't see your post sooner to send my condolences. Take care of yourself now and take time to grieve in your own way. Prayers and blessings, Fay

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

Dearest Lyndsey,

How sad I am to see the loss of your beloved Steve. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I hope that you are surrounded by love, compassion and care. As you've seen from many of us, this new journey will be like a birth to you. You will hurt, you will struggle, but in the end you will be born to a new life. Take your time, be gentle with yourself.

Later today, I will make a cup of tea, sit and think of you. I will pray that you are protected, guided, provided for and loved during this time of sorrow.

Take care, dear one.

Lucy

UKLady's picture
UKLady
Posts: 85
Joined: Jan 2011

I want to thank you all for your wonderful support-I am going to make a separate post as to what happened next to explain continued absence- but I have come back again and again to read your posts being unable to respond via the iPad.

You have all been such a balm to me and your posts have made such a difference in these first few uncertain days when so much more is required of me than I or Steve could ever have expected due to absent family trying to hijack Steve's last wishes set out in his will.

I am just going to try and get past next weekend and look to a more peaceful time

with such grateful thanks

Lyndsey

rogina2336's picture
rogina2336
Posts: 188
Joined: Apr 2011

May you soon feel the peace and serenity that Steve now feels. God Bless Kim

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1561
Joined: Nov 2009

May I send you my most heartfelt sympathies on the recent passing. Thank God and bless all of those involved with Hospice. Thank God Steve was able to be at home, be at peace, and be surrounded by people. This is what he wanted. He is now finally able to rest in peace. May God now grant you and your family the strength you will need in the upcoming year. Please keep in touch, we need you here!
Hugs
Tina in Va

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