May 23, 2011 - 1:00 pm
I'm 42 yrs. old and a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with DCIS. It's at stage 0, grade 2. It's been somewhat a surreal experience. In mid April of this year, I had my first mammogram and since then my life seems to now revolve around this. I am grateful to have found this early and for the doctors and surgeon that are working with me. They have all been proactive and very supportive. I am scheduled this week for an ultrasound for my axillary glands, the following week I will meet with the surgeon, and on June 10th I am scheduled for a lumpectomy. I may have some lymph nodes removed but I wont know for sure till I meet with surgeon. I will probably have radiation and hormonal therapy after.
I know my cancer doesn't compare to some that are at Stage 4 but I can't help feeling afraid. I know the statistics are in my favor. My fear isn't about not surviving but about the journey I will have to go through.
I've done my research yet I'm confused about DCIS. Sometimes DCIS changes character and it may become invasive. Someone may live with DCIS and never know it. Some may have DCIS and after treatment they live long lives. Everyone is different. It's the not knowing that is making me crazy.
I was told I'm at stage 0, grade 2, pattern: solid, gribiform, papillary and focal comedo. So, is my DCIS more aggressive than other forms of DCIS? Will I get invasive cancer in a few years?
A few days ago, we were out with family and I fell apart in front of them. I didn't want to but it just happened. My niece was trying to comfort me and I know her intentions were coming from a loving place but her comments hurt and minimized the challenges I'm facing. She said, "This is nothing. You'll be fine. You may get a boob job out of it. When you start hormone therapy you won't have your period anymore. You need to be strong."
Because of what some may tell me I really don't like to talk about my DCIS. I do have a supportive husband who listens, comforts, and is by my side. I have one friend who has been the best and doesn't minimize my feelings. I have a sister who is being supportive and wants to be involved in my life (she hasn't been part of my life in years). Yet, when I hear some of the comments that others may say it makes me feel like I'm a big baby and I'm making a big deal about it.
When I first learned about my diagnosis I was numb...I didn't know what to feel. Now I have days when I'm not myself. I have good days and some are not that good.
I do hope to have some feedback and read some of the experiences others have had to go through. I don't want to feel alone.