May 23, 2011 - 7:52 am
This morning marks one month since Frank passed. I am missing his physical presence acutely; I miss talking to him, sleeping next to him, walking down the street hand in hand with him. I am going about my life, working, socializing, keeping myself busy...but Frank is in my thoughts constantly and I am partly living in a shadow world of our life together.
Next week I leave the office where I met him and where we worked together for all these years. At first I was thankful the office was relocating; I thought it would be too painful to be there without him and that it would be a fresh start for me. Now I am sad, I feel like one more connection with him is being ripped away from me.
I know that all of this is normal and part of the grieving process. It has been exacerbated by the stress of packing up my office and coordinating our move. I am trying to let myself feel everything and not push feelings away. I am more sad than usual this morning because my friend's son died on Saturday, not of cancer, he had a chronic, incurable illness but he died unexpectedly. Today is his birthday and he would have been 28 years old. I know something of loss now, but I can't imagine losing a child.
On the brighter side, in a couple of weeks I will be flying to California and finally meeting my beautiful little 5 month old nephews. Being will friends and family, and snuggling with babies will be therapeutic for sure.
Wishing everyone a good day...