This has, in a way, made us better.....
Having said that, I would like to take a moment to put a shout out to all the men who have stayed: I for one have fallen on the lucky side and my man has stuck it out, in a monumental way.
Today, as I was traveling back home with my man, from a road trip that we took this weekend, he reached over, grabbed my hand and said "You know Baby, I think this has, in a strange and unexpected way, made us better.....or maybe I should say stronger. It has definitely made us more intimate and taught us how to find ways to work around things we one would have never dreamed of"
As he continued speaking, I began to cry> tears of true happiness and absolute appreciation rolled down my cheeks, and I started thinking how lucky I was to have him> and how many others out there may feel as fortunate as me; so to all the men who stayed.> THANK YOU.
Thank you for sitting with us through treatments and appointments, through endless tests, Dr visits, trips to and from a seemingly never ending list of places to go and people to see. Thank you for rubbing our backs while we threw up, holding our hands while we got results from our Dr., telling us we were beautiful even while our hair fell out and our bodys got cut up. Thank you for piping up with a stupid joke to try and relieve the tension, and for fielding questions from friends and family. Thank you for changing our dressings, draining our tubes, helping us stand, sit and lay down, keeping us comfortable and making us feel safe.
Thank you for reaching over with a gentle touch at just the right moment, for giving us strength, motivation, inspiration and a list of things so long that I can’t even begin to write them all down...
So many have walked away, and yet during this most trying time, you stayed. Silently offering support and putting your own pain and fear aside in order to help us get through.....
To all of the men; the husbands, the lovers, the best friends, the boyfriends...THANK YOU for hanging in there! You are the silent hero’s behind some of us.
To MY man, THANK YOU. I know I would have made it through this regardless, but you have managed to help make the unbearale, bearable. I can never thank you enough, but I am going to spend the rest of this amazing life I have been given, to try. And you are right, somehow, this DID make us better!
Comments
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PinkApples .. This is so Beautiful .. in words, terms
and deep heart felt description of so many of our spouses, loved ones and children. I cried for 15 minutes after reading your post.
My husband knows how much I love, adore and admire him -- however, I will plan a special day with him and put into words - how much he means to me -- all over again. A 'Very Special Husband's Day' .. celebrating him. (This day will involve some type of fishing, or nature hike -- his thing,cuz, it's his day - not, mine). LOL
Thank you so much!
Vicki Sam0 -
Vicki I also love your ideaVickiSam said:PinkApples .. This is so Beautiful .. in words, terms
and deep heart felt description of so many of our spouses, loved ones and children. I cried for 15 minutes after reading your post.
My husband knows how much I love, adore and admire him -- however, I will plan a special day with him and put into words - how much he means to me -- all over again. A 'Very Special Husband's Day' .. celebrating him. (This day will involve some type of fishing, or nature hike -- his thing,cuz, it's his day - not, mine). LOL
Thank you so much!
Vicki Sam
Vicki I also love your idea regarding "special Husband Day". I think I may also plan a "special us" day because as my husband was recuperating from quadruple by-pass I got the notice that I had an abnormal mammo. 2009 was quite a year for us and honestly we held each other's hands as we went thru the trials of heart surgery, breast cancer and the loss of both our jobs. We continue to thank each other for being there and we feel blessed. My husband was my biggest support, and I his.0 -
Thank you for so eloquently
Thank you for so eloquently expressing my own appreciation for my husband. Quite a blessing to have such strong men supporting us.
Hugs,
Linda0 -
Is it possible to be lucky to have Breast Cancer?
I loved your post! I was worried I was living in some denial world since I have very similar feelings as you. It made me cry in a happy way.
I have had so many amazing things happen in my life since my diagnosis. I was lucky they caught it super early and only need to deal with radiation (and then apparently the fat feet of tamoxifen -haha!). I read some of the other posts and not all of us have been lucky at all. I pray for those of you that don't feel so lucky. I pray you can have moments of happiness, hope and peace. Then I thank God for all my many blessings and how he works in such mysterious ways.
It's been an incredibly and strangely life affirming journey. Even in my fatigue, I have never felt so alive! I remember people saying, you will be surprised who will be there for you and who won't and that's been true. The biggest amazement, I've actually started dating during radiation and he's been the best support ever! There are people like your husband and my new 'boyfriend" that just make the world a better place. I'm thinking that they may say the same thing about us.
On my caring bridge site I wrote I felt lucky to have breast cancer. A girlfriend called me and said luck's got nothing to do with it, you are blessed.
Hmm, well said.
Hoping and praying, some way, some how, we can all find small blessings in our lives.0 -
You gals are making me cry...MarleneElla said:Is it possible to be lucky to have Breast Cancer?
I loved your post! I was worried I was living in some denial world since I have very similar feelings as you. It made me cry in a happy way.
I have had so many amazing things happen in my life since my diagnosis. I was lucky they caught it super early and only need to deal with radiation (and then apparently the fat feet of tamoxifen -haha!). I read some of the other posts and not all of us have been lucky at all. I pray for those of you that don't feel so lucky. I pray you can have moments of happiness, hope and peace. Then I thank God for all my many blessings and how he works in such mysterious ways.
It's been an incredibly and strangely life affirming journey. Even in my fatigue, I have never felt so alive! I remember people saying, you will be surprised who will be there for you and who won't and that's been true. The biggest amazement, I've actually started dating during radiation and he's been the best support ever! There are people like your husband and my new 'boyfriend" that just make the world a better place. I'm thinking that they may say the same thing about us.
On my caring bridge site I wrote I felt lucky to have breast cancer. A girlfriend called me and said luck's got nothing to do with it, you are blessed.
Hmm, well said.
Hoping and praying, some way, some how, we can all find small blessings in our lives.
I can relate to each and every one of your posts. My husband of 24 years has been with me as well every step of the way. I'd worry when ever a medical bill showed up in the mail. He took my hand and said "Honey money isn't nothing if you're not around to help me spend it. We will make do" and that we have. My husband and I communicate so much better now and he even mentioned that this journey has brought us closer.
My cancer has taught me so much about myself. I've found I have an inner strength that can tear down walls. It's gotten me over a shyness I've had most of my life. It's brought me closer to my family, my faith and my friends. It also brought me a brand new family of sisters in the color Pink.
Yup... we are blessed.
Lorrie0 -
Pinkapples, I love your post!butterflylvr said:You gals are making me cry...
I can relate to each and every one of your posts. My husband of 24 years has been with me as well every step of the way. I'd worry when ever a medical bill showed up in the mail. He took my hand and said "Honey money isn't nothing if you're not around to help me spend it. We will make do" and that we have. My husband and I communicate so much better now and he even mentioned that this journey has brought us closer.
My cancer has taught me so much about myself. I've found I have an inner strength that can tear down walls. It's gotten me over a shyness I've had most of my life. It's brought me closer to my family, my faith and my friends. It also brought me a brand new family of sisters in the color Pink.
Yup... we are blessed.
Lorrie
I could have written it. I'm so glad you have the love and support you deserve as I do. My husband is one of those truly amazing men who did everything wonderful and right for me when I needed it the most. He is truly one of the most unselfish, caring people I know and I'm lucky enough to say, "He's my husband!" We've been married almost 18 years, and our relationship is so strong, real, caring and loving.
As I've always said--am I glad I got cancer--probably not, but it has brought me blessing beyond my imagination.
I pray for all the wonderful people in the world who do not have this--and truly deserve it.
Hugs, Renee0 -
What a great idea for a
What a great idea for a post! I too am one of the very lucky, blessed ones here with a DH who is always here for me! I was diagnosed in January. He massaged my feet while waiting for surgery, twice, talks to me and rubs my head and arms through chemo, waits on me at home, insists I rest, etc. The other night he made me fall all over in love with him again when he insisted as we got into bed that I take my cap off and lie with him for the first time with my totally bald head, of which I have been very self-conscious. He makes me feel beautiful, bald head, lopsodied boobs and all! Good for you for bringing this to our attention and reminding those of us who are blessed with loving compassionate SOs need to be thankful!
Nancy0 -
I too am very luckyBioAdoptMom said:What a great idea for a
What a great idea for a post! I too am one of the very lucky, blessed ones here with a DH who is always here for me! I was diagnosed in January. He massaged my feet while waiting for surgery, twice, talks to me and rubs my head and arms through chemo, waits on me at home, insists I rest, etc. The other night he made me fall all over in love with him again when he insisted as we got into bed that I take my cap off and lie with him for the first time with my totally bald head, of which I have been very self-conscious. He makes me feel beautiful, bald head, lopsodied boobs and all! Good for you for bringing this to our attention and reminding those of us who are blessed with loving compassionate SOs need to be thankful!
Nancy
and have falling in love with my husband all over again. My husband was there every step of the way, to very appt, every treament and every day I was sick. His job was wonderful and he was able to be off the full month I was off for my Lumpectomy. Not only was he there for me but he also cleaned the house, cooked, did the laundry and then his own outside work. He was/is gently, kind and loving through it all - demanding nothing from - except to get well. We prayed together, cried together and he opened up his feelings of fear and uselessness. I saw my husband in a completly different way. And I love him more today then when we first got married. (30 years ago) Yes, I believe we are better and stronger because of the cancer. Not only is my marriage stronger but my faith is also stronger. I have learned what it really means to trust the Lord. And what a witness my husband has been to our daughters and their husbands, and our son. If they didn't know already - they know now what true love is all about. Love is sticking it through the rough times (for better or for worse, sickness and in health)these words take on a whole new meaning for me now.
Kelly0 -
My hubby is one of the great ones, too.
And while I wouldn't go so far as to say I was lucky to be dx'd, I wouldn't have gotten my puppy, Honey, if I hadn't. And, golly, she is such a joy! Got her during rads. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have gotten off the couch.
Sue0 -
Thank you all
For your replies! I am inspired to have a Special Day for my man as well; what a great idea
Your responses brought tears to my eyes; its amazing the emotion that gratitude can invoke...
Stay strong and God Bless0 -
We are all so blessed.
I am so glad God did not break the mold and kept making men like we have.
I married my highschool sweetheart, only lasted 2yrs. I call him my practice husband. To be really honest, no matter how much he cared I really don't think he would have stayed around. He truly loved me but I don't think that would have been enough for him.
I married my real husband when I was 22, 22 years ago. I honestly think that we were brought together for this. It was more than meant to be, it was necessary. I think we both needed each other to deal with this.
Right now he is on a trip and unable to communicate with me. I had an ultra sound of my remaining nodes. I may have to deal with this without him for now, he returns mid June. I don't think I would be this worry free if I didn't know that he was "there" for me even though he is not physically here right now. It is that strength of our love that makes me know that even if my test is not good I will be fine.
Love is amazing!0 -
oh no you don;t
I have the best husband. Neener neener neener!0 -
Just wanted to thank youlaughs_a_lot said:oh no you don;t
I have the best husband. Neener neener neener!
Just wanted to thank you also for your post! I tell my partner how I do not underestimate the effect that all of my 3 years of cancer and surgeries has had on him....and how he has done just exactly all the things you mentioned! Brings tears to my eyes. It's a wonderful feeling to know such love!!0
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