May 22, 2011 - 11:46 pm
My mother passed in February, 2011 and I am having a difficult time. She was diagnosed with lung cancer last year, and died suddenly at home from a blood clot. It was the most horrific thing I have ever experienced and I am not dealing with it very well. She had been to her Oncologist that very day, was having trouble breathing, low blood pressure, yet he diagnosed a possible bronchial infection, prescribed some meds and sent her home. Within 3 hours she had passed. I have no other family other than my daughter, and was very close to my mother. The crazy thing is, her tumor was shrinking and her cancer count was down, so we were hopeful that she would beat this. I blame the doctor and myself for not recognizing that her symptoms that day were comparable to having a blood clot. If we had, she more than likely would still be alive. I am having great difficulty getting the images out of my mind, as well as the overwhelming feelings of guilt. I am unemployed at the moment, so any kind of counseling is out of the question. I guess I'm hoping someone else will read this and possibly help in some way.