MY time to vent!!!!

smokeyjoe
smokeyjoe Member Posts: 1,425 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1
Okay.....so, we have a bunch of friends up at the lake.....14 people....I went and did the shopping for the food, prepared everything.....my son did the actual b.b.q. of the meat on the grill, I did all the veggies, salads etc. Hubby sat in a lawn chair with a dumb grin on his face!!!! Like he would always do in the past, we would have big parties, I would do everything....he would act like he was a "guest". He did the same friggen thing tonight!!!! Sorry, but I kept thinking I'm Stage 1V cancer diagnosis. Sure I looke perfect, act perfect!!! But!!!! I finally said to my younger son I can't believe dad what is he gonna do when I'm gone!!! My son said "What are you talking about??"" They are all friggen in denial!!! Okay I have vented. I'm gonhave another beer and I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN!!! I AM HERE FOR A GOOD TIME. NOT A LONG TIME.....OKAY .....ERASE THAT I AM GOING TO BE HERE FOR A LONG TIME AND I AM GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!!

Comments

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #2
    Enjoy Being There
    A lake with friends and family sounds great but you don't have to be the person to do it all. Hey you do some (if you can) and leave the rest to other family members. I'd be angry at this situation too. My husband wanted to have Christmas at our house right after diagnosis with 25 people and he had no clue what was going on with me. Finally I'd given up and said you host it then, I'll do some. Hope that you get to enjoy some of this event. Just let it go. Someone will eventually have to take over when you decide to give it up doing it all. Easier said than done though because I've been there.

    Hugs! Kim
  • luvmum
    luvmum Member Posts: 457 Member
    #3
    Oh ...
    I know how you feel! Even though I am not a patient, I know how tiring preparing a BBQ party could be! Please ask them to share the workload next time. You have all the right to enjoy and relax!
    Take good care and be happy!
  • PGLGreg
    PGLGreg Member Posts: 731
    #4
    Maybe you can keep them in
    Maybe you can keep them in denial for a few more decades. Did you have a good time, despite everything?

    --Greg
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    #5
    PGLGreg said:

    Maybe you can keep them in
    Maybe you can keep them in denial for a few more decades. Did you have a good time, despite everything?

    --Greg

    I like last words, ! hope you got a big fun!
    Hugs!
  • smokeyjoe
    smokeyjoe Member Posts: 1,425 Member
    #6
    pepebcn said:

    I like last words, ! hope you got a big fun!
    Hugs!

    Okay, I calmed down, ate
    Okay, I calmed down, ate lots, drank beer, did some shots which I've never tried before, the kids are good for those new shooter type drinks, we let off a bunch of fireworks!!! Everyone stayed overnight....and two of the guests are outside cleaning up the beerbottles that are scattered around the fire pit. One of the boys volunteered to clean my floors!!! Everything seems to track in from outside with a crew here. I'm happy :)
  • BettyJoM
    BettyJoM Member Posts: 82
    #7
    hI
    I have to thank you, you gave me such a good laugh. Men.
    I had a boyfriend for 5 years, an Italian prince. I was diagnosed last august, went through surgery then 6 months of chemo. nothing changed, I actually cooked for him with a chemo bag hanging on me.
    Now we dont live together have no children together, he does not support me emotionally, financially, or physically. He was a huge creature of habit so he didnt even sleep over. He went home when at times I could barely walk. What the hell is wrong with me
    Ended it three months ago. I dont need more baggage. some men are real ****
    you did make me laugh...glad you had another beer
    Betty Jo
  • smokeyjoe
    smokeyjoe Member Posts: 1,425 Member
    #8
    BettyJoM said:

    hI
    I have to thank you, you gave me such a good laugh. Men.
    I had a boyfriend for 5 years, an Italian prince. I was diagnosed last august, went through surgery then 6 months of chemo. nothing changed, I actually cooked for him with a chemo bag hanging on me.
    Now we dont live together have no children together, he does not support me emotionally, financially, or physically. He was a huge creature of habit so he didnt even sleep over. He went home when at times I could barely walk. What the hell is wrong with me
    Ended it three months ago. I dont need more baggage. some men are real ****
    you did make me laugh...glad you had another beer
    Betty Jo

    Hey Betty Jo, I suppose
    Hey Betty Jo, I suppose it's my doing too...when I thought about it, I've always pushed everyone out of the kitchen and have always done the planning of the food, buying everything in preparation. His mom was the same way. I suppose I had it all under control so he stayed back and out from under my feet. My hubby is very supportive in every other way. He's a great guy!!! Glad I gave you a laugh :)
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    #9
    smokeyjoe said:

    Hey Betty Jo, I suppose
    Hey Betty Jo, I suppose it's my doing too...when I thought about it, I've always pushed everyone out of the kitchen and have always done the planning of the food, buying everything in preparation. His mom was the same way. I suppose I had it all under control so he stayed back and out from under my feet. My hubby is very supportive in every other way. He's a great guy!!! Glad I gave you a laugh :)

    I'm so glad you're feeling
    I'm so glad you're feeling better. Seems when I get upset ...after awhile I see things from a different perspective and think omg did I really think those things? lol

    Gail
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #10
    Sounds like my dad. The big
    Sounds like my dad. The big ole country boy in a house with professional women that work a lot. We have told my dad that next Xmas we are going out and mom can't cook more than 2 cakes and 2 pies. He says he wants Xmas at home and we have told him stay at home. He will be at alone. The neurapthy has gotten hold f my mom. Other times that we want to have a party, we sit down and tell my dad what our expectations are. He is in charge of these several dishes and the entire tasks of puTting up the dishes and taking out the trash afte. We tried the we need your help and it didn't work. We define his tasks and if there isn't an agreement as to or resistance we cancel the event and go out. This stuff can u chop the onions or do small tasks don't work becuzz he tries to escape and leave us with the rest of the dish. He tried to say we were so. Much beTter to try to weasel out of it , but terms of our agreement is that HE MUST Learn and deliver or we cancel.
  • BettyJoM
    BettyJoM Member Posts: 82
    #11
    ketziah35 said:

    Sounds like my dad. The big
    Sounds like my dad. The big ole country boy in a house with professional women that work a lot. We have told my dad that next Xmas we are going out and mom can't cook more than 2 cakes and 2 pies. He says he wants Xmas at home and we have told him stay at home. He will be at alone. The neurapthy has gotten hold f my mom. Other times that we want to have a party, we sit down and tell my dad what our expectations are. He is in charge of these several dishes and the entire tasks of puTting up the dishes and taking out the trash afte. We tried the we need your help and it didn't work. We define his tasks and if there isn't an agreement as to or resistance we cancel the event and go out. This stuff can u chop the onions or do small tasks don't work becuzz he tries to escape and leave us with the rest of the dish. He tried to say we were so. Much beTter to try to weasel out of it , but terms of our agreement is that HE MUST Learn and deliver or we cancel.

    Ha Ha
    I guess we make these men what they are. My dad never did a thing in the kitchen and neither did my husband, except maybe to lay in new counter tops.
    But although my husband didnt cook he did all the outside work and maintenance on the house.
    I have to do it all since he died. It would have been nice to have a boyfriend help but it was my own expectations and preconceived notions that were let down.

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