May 17, 2011 - 1:25 pm
For undisclosed reasons my father hates my husband with all he has in him-I guess at least part of it is because he knows he has done the job he should have been doing and that he never abandoned me while everyone of my family members did.
Well my husband has lung cancer and this has been a turbulent time. When I first was given the news I was like everyone-all I saw for my husband was a RIP sign and the doctor also painted that "picture." Of course I was despondant, but I handed it to God and through that and by coming here and seeing proof that miracles can and do happen I am not without hope nor will I give up on my husband despite what has been said.
I tried to reach out to my father because at least for the time being, I am alone-my husband is in the hospital receiving preliminary treatment forgoing a release date in the near days, etc. Well, I have known "things" about my father that are disturbing at best, yet like I said I was in need of just some support-for someone to listen. And what my father did stung worse than the diagnosis itself-He yelled at me after I was just speaking of how things of this nature vary and that people do survive-he yelled and me and said "Now I tried to explain something to you (that no one ever survives) but you are the "D#$M! doctor so you deal with it! And then he promptly hung up on me. What hurts here most is now I have proof of what I expected that all along even when my father was seemingly caring all he really wants is to see my husband die. He wishes that for him all due to some misguided sense of hatred for someone who has done far more for me then he ever has. I am shaking as I write this and I don't want to tell my husband when he calls me so I came here like everyone else to get a shoulder-an understanding non-judgmental shoulder to lean on. I am so mad at myself for allowing myself to be sucked into this again but this is the last time-I have the urge to send him a "letter" but what would that accomplish-it would only feed into his "cancerous" hatred and I feel I have been downed enough.
Can anyone I don't care who-just reply and help me keep my chin up? I am really falling apart and the more i try to be brave the harder it is to to be brave. All I know is I will be glad for my husband to come home because all I want to do is have him back at my side and I will care for him.