Mother's Day...any disappointments?

lizzie17
lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
in Breast Cancer #1
I hope you don't mind me sharing; it will be bibliotherapy for me.

Mother's Day---no cards, no gifts, from my two adult daughters. We were together, but I picked
up the dinner tab....oldest paid for herself. A best friend from 3rd grade joined us, gave me a beautiful card--for her other mother---and a restaurant gift card. I cried.

Maybe since the BC diagnosis, I want each day like this to be a little special. How many more
will we be able to share?

Just feeling like I gave them my heart, soul, time, and $$$ for all of their lives, but is it appreciated?

Thanks for listening. Hurting on the inside.

Comments

  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #2
    No...
    No Disappointments for me...but I can understand this is upsetting to you....we all do for our kids...want the best for them...but...I don't think anyone appreciates their parents until they become parents themselves....I would say forget about the gifts and cards...just rejoice in the time you spent together....

    Hugs to you...
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #3
    Great Day
    I would love to have had Son here to spend the day with. He's 1,300 miles away. Hubby made a great dinner. I got a gift card to my favorite plant nursery and have spent part of it on more Bougainvilla - waiting till it's warm enough to get my tomatoes. My theory - be thankful for what you have/get.

    Susan
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #4
    I am so sorry that you are
    I am so sorry that you are hurting. Of course only you know if this Mother's Day was an oddity, or if this is the way it generally is with you and your daughters. Have they always given you cards and gifts? Have they usually paid for lunch or dinner? If this is a giant left-hand turn, seemingly out of nowhere; I would be puzzled about it more than hurt. But if this is the norm for you; perhaps your diagnosis has made you think your days are numbered and that they should have gifted you something. Was the get together nice? Did you enjoy the time spent together? If so, that shows you got the BEST Mother's Day gift of all~ time with your children. They could have sent you an e-card and opted out of being with you. I have a sneaking suspicion that that would have been WAY worse! Enjoy the time spent with your children: time is indeed too short to be saddened about what did NOT happen~ rejoice in what did.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #5
    I totally get it
    MINE was great in the am...by end of day ...not good...I sadly say..too long of story...

    I did get gifts from each...but I would rather had had peaceful day instead...

    + I have surgery Tues so already worked up about that...and one has still not even mentioned, asked nothing...never did through BC so no surprise not for this...

    Sorry you were disappointed...nice you have a great friend...!
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #6
    Mothers day
    I mostly celebrated on Saturday so that my grandchildren could be with thier mothers. The grandchildren came over and did some yard work for me as I had my port installed the day prior. We roasted hot dogs. They aren't over as often as they were previously, but it is not due to bc but other factors. The next day each child called me to wish a happy mother"s day> I truly need little as I have become quite the clutter bug> I am blessed as the kids seem to call me several times a month just to say hi>
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
    #7
    disneyfan2008 said:

    I totally get it
    MINE was great in the am...by end of day ...not good...I sadly say..too long of story...

    I did get gifts from each...but I would rather had had peaceful day instead...

    + I have surgery Tues so already worked up about that...and one has still not even mentioned, asked nothing...never did through BC so no surprise not for this...

    Sorry you were disappointed...nice you have a great friend...!

    My husband works
    My husband works 7 days a week so we don't plan anything.One of my sons did give me a card, the other told me "Happy Mother's Day" and the third son works 7 days a week also.Has his day job and also owns his own business.We don't have alot of get togethers but Christmas and Thanksgiving. When my husband retires it will be different as long as our sons will have time to get together.

    My husband took me To Wal Mart and brought me 12 plants.Some go on the porch and some in the ground.We've done that for 2 years now.OF course we would get the flowers anyway but now call it my Mother's Day gift.Fine with me.

    And like disney there was a slight problem.At the end of the day my husband took me to a car show.Later somewhere else.It was gettting late and my husband wasn't happy.He let me know it.So I said to him What a"Happy Mother's Day".Wish we wouldn't have gone to the car show.I had tears in my eyes but wouldn't let him see me crying.It is the cancer thing making me do it.Like someone said.EMOTIONS

    One other reason for not getting together.It is hard.I have a daughter-in-law who is rude, hateful and you name it she makes our holidays miserable.It is deliberate.So like Disney I prefer peaceful days which doesn't happen with her around.My son is wonderful but she is horrible.Runs her mouth all day and puts my son down.He is her angel.I hope someday he will wake up.He is so sweet and passive.I never dreamed what SOME daughter-in-laws COULD be like.

    Lynn Smith
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #8
    laughs_a_lot said:

    Mothers day
    I mostly celebrated on Saturday so that my grandchildren could be with thier mothers. The grandchildren came over and did some yard work for me as I had my port installed the day prior. We roasted hot dogs. They aren't over as often as they were previously, but it is not due to bc but other factors. The next day each child called me to wish a happy mother"s day> I truly need little as I have become quite the clutter bug> I am blessed as the kids seem to call me several times a month just to say hi>

    both my girls live at home
    both my girls live at home and one has 2 small boys...so I see them daily for sure...we did car show mid day...I am not into cars but nice day...to be outside etc.. my hubby even went and got muffins from DUnkin donuts and made bacon and eggs..mind YOU HE doesnt' cook at all...he did good job...

    Denise
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #9
    chenheart said:

    I am so sorry that you are
    I am so sorry that you are hurting. Of course only you know if this Mother's Day was an oddity, or if this is the way it generally is with you and your daughters. Have they always given you cards and gifts? Have they usually paid for lunch or dinner? If this is a giant left-hand turn, seemingly out of nowhere; I would be puzzled about it more than hurt. But if this is the norm for you; perhaps your diagnosis has made you think your days are numbered and that they should have gifted you something. Was the get together nice? Did you enjoy the time spent together? If so, that shows you got the BEST Mother's Day gift of all~ time with your children. They could have sent you an e-card and opted out of being with you. I have a sneaking suspicion that that would have been WAY worse! Enjoy the time spent with your children: time is indeed too short to be saddened about what did NOT happen~ rejoice in what did.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    this was a little different
    You all are correct. The day was pleasant and the time spent together was great. And for that I am grateful.

    I usually get a little something to recognize Mother's Day, though. They are 27 and 24, working, and independent.

    I think my expectations exceeded realization.
    Thanks for reflecting with me.
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    #10
    No, Mother's Day was
    No, Mother's Day was great.
    Planned on going fishing, but then it rained. My boys decided to go to dinner instead. I vetoed it. Too crowded. So we all went bowling, which I have always loved, but found out it is too hard to bowl when you are having trouble walking, but we all laughed at my air balls (cant bend very well) and the fact that I didn't break 100, both beat me. (I was a really good bowler)
    My daughter in law came too, (she has 3 beautiful daughters from a previous marriage, and they have a tradition of the girls making breakfast, no gifts), she too, was a lot of fun. Then for dinner we made cold sandwiches, potato salad and a green salad, and a chocolate fudge cake!
    It was just what I needed, a fun relaxing day! There was no pressure, no gifts, just spending the day with them laughing. I don't need more stuff, just more time! Life is good.
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #11
    camul said:

    No, Mother's Day was
    No, Mother's Day was great.
    Planned on going fishing, but then it rained. My boys decided to go to dinner instead. I vetoed it. Too crowded. So we all went bowling, which I have always loved, but found out it is too hard to bowl when you are having trouble walking, but we all laughed at my air balls (cant bend very well) and the fact that I didn't break 100, both beat me. (I was a really good bowler)
    My daughter in law came too, (she has 3 beautiful daughters from a previous marriage, and they have a tradition of the girls making breakfast, no gifts), she too, was a lot of fun. Then for dinner we made cold sandwiches, potato salad and a green salad, and a chocolate fudge cake!
    It was just what I needed, a fun relaxing day! There was no pressure, no gifts, just spending the day with them laughing. I don't need more stuff, just more time! Life is good.

    Your outlook
    I really like your outlook. I guess that I just wanted one day to be about me.
    It seems like I listen, give $$$, buy gifts, pick up dinner tabs, be there when the
    chips are down, or wonderful.

    No one wants to hear how I feel, or about my diagnosis--"it's boring." Talk about
    something else, my oldest says. I never realized that I talked about it all so much, anyway.

    Trying to survive, but also thrive!

Discussion Boards