Mark has bad days but good moments

Hello all,

First of all thank you for your thoughts and prayers. My husband Mark is going on his journey towards leaving his earthly body. Before he had good days and bad days. Now he has bad days with some good moments. He has taken alot more liquid morphine today than he has since he started it Thursday night. He is highly confused and hallucinating. This is not from the morphine because we backed off on it yesterday. He asked me about the dead salesman in the spare room. Of course there isn't one. I told him that there is no dead guy here yet until you go. I know that sounds morbid but we rely on some comic relief during all this. I use to work as a hospice volunteer a long time ago and I know the signs of the dying process. Of course this is definitely different because it is my husband but I did break down and asked God "what is my husband holding on for? What is he waiting for because all I see is him suffering with the muscle jerks that are waking him up? What and Why?" Well today the muscle jerks are still there but they aren't waking him up like they were. I made a deal with my husband that when he does pass on to do it only when I am here. Of course I don't want him to go but it is inevitable.

Last night his left ankle and foot were swollen and today it has gone down except for when I just put him to bed, it is starting to swell again. I called the hospice nurse last night about it and they said prop it and I did, the swelling went down but if it didn't they would have to get a diuretic for him. He can't swallow any pills now so he wouldn't be able to take it anyways.

He slept most of the day yesterday but today he was awake most of the day til about 6 pm. Kindof surprised me him staying awake all day today but he did. It was a good day and I enjoyed all his sarcastic remarks towards every tv show and commercial. He analyzed everything. And of course he has been talking to no one and can't remember what he did 2 minutes ago. But all in all it was a good day.

Thanks for listening
~Kelly