May 04, 2011 - 5:59 am
This still seems like a horrible dream even as I write this. I have had double tragedies in my life months apart.
Late last year, my mum started feeling numbness in her right leg. She then went to an orthopedic doctor who quickly diagnosed it as sciatica. He put her on some nerve stimulating drugs which helped for sometime. However, a month later, she felt the drugs were not helping her so we sought another opinion only this time she decided to go for accupuncture as she had heard that it was good with sciatica. She had treatment sessions for month but no improvement.In January 2011,she woke up one night in terrible pain. She said she felt like her leg was burning on the inside. That was when we sought a neurosurgeon. with all the symptoms she had, he concluded that it was definitely sciatica and that all she needed was pain killers and physiotherapy.
This helped to control the pain on and off. Nights were especially bad for mum. There were nights that we would not sleep because of the pain.Doses were adjusted and would work on and off. An MRI of the spine didn't show anything that would require surgery(if it were sciatica)
At about the same time, my grandfather(mum's dad) started developing complications. At first, we thought it was due to his diabetes. So the endocrinologist, adjusted his doses. soon after, he begun complaining of aches just around the diaphragm area. It was at this time the doctor decided to do a few tests.these tests later showed that he in fact had pancreatic cancer.So here we are, with little info about the disease. things happened so fast and soon we were starting his chemo sessions. Due to his age, we were quite worried about how he would take it. Unfortunately, he was only able to have two sessions. On the night of 15th March, he succumbed to cancer.
Meanwhile, my mother's condition was not improving as well. By this time, she was on bed rest and had little function of her right leg. we had my grandfather's funeral on the 22nd, my mother was unable to attend. she was devastated!a few days later, my mother started having chest congestion( note that in the past few months, she had been having night sweats) This, plus the congestion now beginning made us suspect that she may be having tuberculosis. I immediately rushed her to hospital when the antibiotics given to her at a clinic did not improve the situation.It was here that they discovered the cancer. There was a huge mass on her leg. the congestion was due to the fact that the cancer had spread to her lungs. my mum spent two weeks in the hospital and on the 13th of April, she lost the fight.
Looking back at the hospital stay, I still can't believe how much she still wanted to take care of us. She'd insist on getting extra food so that I could have some of her food.my siblings were not around so it was usually me, her and dad. She was such a strong woman. Her faith kept her going. Even in all this pain, she would always sit me down and pray. The day before she passed away, I asked her( sobbing) where I would ever get another mother and she simply told me "This is God's will and he has a plan for you, Let God's will be done"
It's only been 2 weeks since the funeral. I feel so lost. As the first born, I feel I have to be strong for everyone else. But there are days I wake up and just sit in her room and cry. I wish everyone would just stop telling us that they know what we are going through. I can't hang out with people anymore. there are so many questions I have.
i was just introduced to this site by a friend and can't believe how much i identify with most of the people here.