Can I travel with my Mom?

Neko
Neko Member Posts: 4
in Colorectal Cancer #1
My mother has just informed me that she has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. The cancer was discovered in her anal canal, lymph nodes in the groin and in her liver. She is a very healthy 75-year old woman who undergoes regualar check-ups and this news has been devastating to me. She seems to be taking it very well, and is determined to get through this unscathed! I have no idea what to expect but I understand the survival rate for stage 4 cancers are not very good. She will go in for a PET scan and then her first colonoscopy next week and get the ball rolling the following week with chemo and them a course of radiation. I am perusing sites like this trying to familiarize myslef with the vernacular and procedures. Thank goodness for forums like these.
Here is another thing I was wondering-
For about 6 months now, I have been planning a one-month trip around Southeast Asia from mid-December this year for my Mother & I, and she doesn't want me to cancel. I really don't know what to do. I want to have her look forward to that and I'm really hoping she'll be well enough to join me, but is this being ridiculously optimistic?
I'd appreciate any advice you could give me.
Cheers

Comments

  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #2
    Southeast Asia....

    Why not make the trip really worthwhile, and seek a physician there
    that practices Traditional Chinese Medicine? It just might serve Mom well!

    Best hopes for better health,

    John
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #3
    Stage 4 just is a number....for the treatment team....
    ....In My Humble Opinion....!!!!

    I have many stage 4 friends that are living life to it's fullest.

    Yes, it can be a life of repeat battles with cancer, when it pops up somewhere else. BUT all the more reason to live life inbetween!!!!

    I was 'only' stage III rectal...but I'm guessing, with your mom's anal (squamous cell?) that it's the same. The GOOD news, if it is squamous cell, it REALLY responds to radiation. I have celebrated 6 years post diagnosis at Thanksgiving, when 6 years ago I was told I had 6 months to live....

    As far as your December trip, talk to her oncologist about it before you cancel or do anything. He/she will be the one with the answers...I traveled to Europe between chemo treatments, with my oncologist's approval. I had to take it easy, because I tired, but it was well worth it!

    There is another board on this site just for anal cancer. You might post there, as well.

    Hugs to you and your mom!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #4
    This is something that
    This is something that should be coordinated. I wouldn't take my mom to anywhere they had water issues or the probability of her getting sick from the food during chemo, due to the depressed immune system. Most people say during treatment ask her oncologist and discuss where you are going (cities or rural areas).
  • daBeachBum
    daBeachBum Member Posts: 164
    #5
    Travel
    Since my diagnosis I have planned a lot of travel. I have two things cooking at the end of May and a two week trip with family to Europe in the fall.

    I spoke with my doc about this and we set up some alternate scheduling for my chemo for May so I end up going longer than usual without it, but will be fresher for my summer beach kickoff open house and for Chicago with mah girl the next week.

    I would discuss this with your mom's oncologist. There may be a creative way around this. Of course it all depends on how she feels at that point.

    What I can tell you is that it feels great to have travel planned with people I love. Planning these trips and sharing the anticipation with the people I care about has really given me a lift.

    I am also a newly diagnosed stage 4, and while I am much younger than your mom, I have progressed from death's door to a fairly normal life in three months. Your mom sounds like she is strong and optimistic and she has loving support. That's just the kind of things needed :-)

    I am sure you will make the right decision...

    Strength and love to you and your mom!

    Ray
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    #6
    Can you move the trip up?
    You may want to travel before treatment. However, if not, keep your plans (and regardless make sure you get trip insurance right away when you pay for your trip, so no "pre-existing conditions" can be used to negate insurance if you can't go.

    On a side note, I like your name! My cat was "Neko" and her sister was "Wafer". I, too, love things Japanese (assuming that's why you are Neko) and was supposed to have been in Japan this month, but we had to cancel because of the earthquake/tsunami/nuclear disaster.

    Wishing you and your mother well.
    Alice
  • luvmum
    luvmum Member Posts: 457 Member
    #7
    I did travel with my mum
    My mum was dx last year in Oct with liver met. In between chemo treatments, I took her to Japan once. I informed the oncologist, the colon surgeon beforehand. You also need to know if anything happen, where can you go and seek for help. I was lucky because we travelled with a doctor. I took all the necessary medicines, thermometer, portable blood pressure machine ... just in case. The trip was great and my mum put on some weight for the following chemo.
    She only just had a liver resection last month and I plan to take her to US in June, which again will be in between her chemo treatments. I have already informed the oncologist and the surgeons and they all said ok.
    I hope you will have great time with your mom!
    Best wishes to both of you!
  • Neko
    Neko Member Posts: 4
    #8
    luvmum said:

    I did travel with my mum
    My mum was dx last year in Oct with liver met. In between chemo treatments, I took her to Japan once. I informed the oncologist, the colon surgeon beforehand. You also need to know if anything happen, where can you go and seek for help. I was lucky because we travelled with a doctor. I took all the necessary medicines, thermometer, portable blood pressure machine ... just in case. The trip was great and my mum put on some weight for the following chemo.
    She only just had a liver resection last month and I plan to take her to US in June, which again will be in between her chemo treatments. I have already informed the oncologist and the surgeons and they all said ok.
    I hope you will have great time with your mom!
    Best wishes to both of you!

    Thanks for all of your input
    Thanks for all of your input and valauble opinions, I appreciate this so much!

    I am living in Japan and have not seen my Mom, who lives in California, for 4 years. I do volunteer work with kids in Cambodia and other parts of Southeast Asia and really wanted her to see what I have been devoting all my free time & energy (& money!)into doing for the past 10 years. As for traveling now, one, I am a full time university teacher & it is impossible to take time off nwo, and two, more importantly, she needs to get her treatment started NOW as she has just been diagnosed.
    Re: the health conditions over there-
    The sanitary situation does not worry me as we only drink bottled water or boiled drinks over there, and the food is OK too. I've been traveling in and around those areas for over 20 years and know what & how to eat... :-)
    I guess I should wait to see how she takes the first round of chemo & radiation and then have her consult with her oncologist re: the travel plans. I am booking a lot of flights for this online and they are non-refundable, and I would hate to pressure my Mom into committing if it is something that would not be 100% enjoyable for her. December, when we would be leaving, is peak season which is why I am booking flights so early(flights are limited in the less-traveled areas of Southeast Asia). Back in January, my Mom puchased her round-trip tickets from San Francisco-Bangkok as she was using her mileage and it was best to book early to ensure seats. I have used my mileage to purchase my inital flights as well.

    She has just informed me that she had her colonoscopy yesterday and will have the results in a week. Her PET scan is sceduled for May 9, and then she will have a port inserted (in the chest?) for the chemo, and then get that started.
    I'm really really wishing the best for her, and hope that she does not have to suffer.
    Thanks for your kind words and support, and let me know any other thoughts you may have.
    Cheers
  • Neko
    Neko Member Posts: 4
    #9
    Neko said:

    Thanks for all of your input
    Thanks for all of your input and valauble opinions, I appreciate this so much!

    I am living in Japan and have not seen my Mom, who lives in California, for 4 years. I do volunteer work with kids in Cambodia and other parts of Southeast Asia and really wanted her to see what I have been devoting all my free time & energy (& money!)into doing for the past 10 years. As for traveling now, one, I am a full time university teacher & it is impossible to take time off nwo, and two, more importantly, she needs to get her treatment started NOW as she has just been diagnosed.
    Re: the health conditions over there-
    The sanitary situation does not worry me as we only drink bottled water or boiled drinks over there, and the food is OK too. I've been traveling in and around those areas for over 20 years and know what & how to eat... :-)
    I guess I should wait to see how she takes the first round of chemo & radiation and then have her consult with her oncologist re: the travel plans. I am booking a lot of flights for this online and they are non-refundable, and I would hate to pressure my Mom into committing if it is something that would not be 100% enjoyable for her. December, when we would be leaving, is peak season which is why I am booking flights so early(flights are limited in the less-traveled areas of Southeast Asia). Back in January, my Mom puchased her round-trip tickets from San Francisco-Bangkok as she was using her mileage and it was best to book early to ensure seats. I have used my mileage to purchase my inital flights as well.

    She has just informed me that she had her colonoscopy yesterday and will have the results in a week. Her PET scan is sceduled for May 9, and then she will have a port inserted (in the chest?) for the chemo, and then get that started.
    I'm really really wishing the best for her, and hope that she does not have to suffer.
    Thanks for your kind words and support, and let me know any other thoughts you may have.
    Cheers

    Alice
    I have 2 cats, one is
    Alice
    I have 2 cats, one is a gorgeous, big-boned calico named "Shishka" ("pinecone" in Russian) and the other a little skinny tabby named "Pamplemousse" ("grapefruit" in French).
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #10
    Neko said:

    Thanks for all of your input
    Thanks for all of your input and valauble opinions, I appreciate this so much!

    I am living in Japan and have not seen my Mom, who lives in California, for 4 years. I do volunteer work with kids in Cambodia and other parts of Southeast Asia and really wanted her to see what I have been devoting all my free time & energy (& money!)into doing for the past 10 years. As for traveling now, one, I am a full time university teacher & it is impossible to take time off nwo, and two, more importantly, she needs to get her treatment started NOW as she has just been diagnosed.
    Re: the health conditions over there-
    The sanitary situation does not worry me as we only drink bottled water or boiled drinks over there, and the food is OK too. I've been traveling in and around those areas for over 20 years and know what & how to eat... :-)
    I guess I should wait to see how she takes the first round of chemo & radiation and then have her consult with her oncologist re: the travel plans. I am booking a lot of flights for this online and they are non-refundable, and I would hate to pressure my Mom into committing if it is something that would not be 100% enjoyable for her. December, when we would be leaving, is peak season which is why I am booking flights so early(flights are limited in the less-traveled areas of Southeast Asia). Back in January, my Mom puchased her round-trip tickets from San Francisco-Bangkok as she was using her mileage and it was best to book early to ensure seats. I have used my mileage to purchase my inital flights as well.

    She has just informed me that she had her colonoscopy yesterday and will have the results in a week. Her PET scan is sceduled for May 9, and then she will have a port inserted (in the chest?) for the chemo, and then get that started.
    I'm really really wishing the best for her, and hope that she does not have to suffer.
    Thanks for your kind words and support, and let me know any other thoughts you may have.
    Cheers

    Neko
    My brother and sister-in-laws live in Japan, they are 150 miles from the nuclear reactor, and I hope that you are far away as well.
    As for your travel plans with your mother, I'm sure that the oncologists can well fit this within your schedules. There is plenty of time for chemo between now and December. She needs to let the oncologist know a couple of months in advance (October) what her plans are, and they will work around this. I believe your mother wants to spend her time with her daughter, (I know I would) on such a trip. So I say plan, when you cancel plans of the "future" sometimes, that's when you tend to lose hope. And no one should lose their hope. I do, now, make and plan my tickets with the "insurance" so that in case something were to come up, we could get our refunds. However, that hasn't happened, we've made all our trips as planned and ENJOYED every MOMENT!!!
    I'm sure your mother wouldn't want to miss this time with you.
    Winter Marie
  • Neko
    Neko Member Posts: 4
    #11
    herdizziness said:

    Neko
    My brother and sister-in-laws live in Japan, they are 150 miles from the nuclear reactor, and I hope that you are far away as well.
    As for your travel plans with your mother, I'm sure that the oncologists can well fit this within your schedules. There is plenty of time for chemo between now and December. She needs to let the oncologist know a couple of months in advance (October) what her plans are, and they will work around this. I believe your mother wants to spend her time with her daughter, (I know I would) on such a trip. So I say plan, when you cancel plans of the "future" sometimes, that's when you tend to lose hope. And no one should lose their hope. I do, now, make and plan my tickets with the "insurance" so that in case something were to come up, we could get our refunds. However, that hasn't happened, we've made all our trips as planned and ENJOYED every MOMENT!!!
    I'm sure your mother wouldn't want to miss this time with you.
    Winter Marie

    Thanks Marie!
    I really appreciate your comments.
    I am in western Japan, in Kurashiki(Okayama Prefecture), hundreds of miles from the reactors. Life is as usual for everyone here, and we are hurting as a nation when people cancel their travel plans. Very few tourists ever head up to the areas that were affected anyhow, and the sights are as lovely as ever. We just finished up cherry blossom season, and now the wisteria is blooming.

    I think the best thing to do will be to wait & see the results of my Mom's colonoscopy and her subsequent PET scan, then the initial cycles of chemo & radiation before I commit to the travel thing with her.
    We are planning to spend 2 weeks in Myanmar, a week in Cambodia and a week in Laos. I spend a lot of time there and want so much to share with her the beauty of those places and to introduce her to my local friends and the children I sponsor.I will be the "tour guide" and we do not have an entirely fixed (day to day) schedule, so we can go at our own pace, which will be good for her should she need some down time. She's seen my photos from past trips and I've been sending her sample itineraries for the past few months so she's been pretty gung-ho on the whole idea. I think looking forward to this trip will definitely be good for her. :-)
    Cheers
    Karen
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    #12
    Just wanted to say good luck
    Just wanted to say good luck to your moms upcoming treatment. I hope all goes well and smooth for her. I hope the trip is a great source of optimism and excitement for you both!

    Love and hugs, Gail

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